Is there something wrong with my child

[tellybee]

My son is 4.  When my son was 1 he use to sneak out of the house.  I mean the neighbors would knock at my door and ask if I lost someone.  I only went to the bathroom it was that fast.  We had to put locks on the top of the doors to keep him from getting out.  Everything would go in his mouth.  I mean everything it did not matter what it is.  He is 4 and still everything goes in his mouth.  Its really bad when we are in crowds of people around.  Its like an anxiety.  He didn't talk until he was 2yrs old.  But when he did started to talk it was normal.  He is very distructive.  He beaks everything.  When he gets into trouble he has no facial expressions, no remourse for what he did, no crying, its almost as you are talking to a wall.  We tried to take things away from him that he loves the most.  Like his bike, my husband took his bike away for two days because he did not listen very well.  His bike is his world.  His response was "dad did you put my bike up?" Also, Just after Christmas he just got new toys that he wanted desperately his room was a complete mess.  I asked him to help me pick up the toys.  He just refused so, I told him that if he can't take care of his toys then we will have to throw them in the garbage or give them to someone who will take care of them.  So I started to put them in a box and he helped me.  He said I don't need them.  I put them outside on the garbage cans and it sat there all day and overnight.  He did not care.  He did not even think about them ever again.  What kind of 3yr old does not get upset at that kind of thing?  He doesn't like to eat.  Especially at the dinner table when we are eating.  He has to much energy.  He can't sit in one place for to long.  He just wants to eat junk.  He eats all the time oatmeal everyday.  Sometimes he will eat other things.  It took me 3 months to get someone to listen to me.  Me and my husband have been so exhausted.  You can't let him leave your site or he is into something distructive.  Once he took powder and sprayed it all over my bathroom within seconds.  He is obsessed with baths, cars have to line up and he has to finish whatever it is that he is doing.  Its so fustrating.  I took him to a Neurologist who diagnosed him with ADHD with anxiety disorder.  She said she would definetly say he does not have Autism.  We did put him on Aderall it was a nightmare, then switched him to Concerta which was worse.  He lost 5lbs.  And seemed to stare off in space.  We wen to a carnival and put him on a carosel ride and he did not even smile.  He had no facial expessions that was my last draw.  I took him off the meds.  Now he at least has a personality but the hyperness and other things we are dealing with.  He has a social worker that comes once a week and works with him.  Teaching him right from wrong.  The distruction is less than it was.  He still breaks his own toys.  He has to have a blanket over his head when he sleeps and a stuffed animal.  I am not sure what we are dealing with but I know deep down in my gut that something else is wrong.  He has never been tested for anything.  They just went by hear say.  Please help me go in the right direction.

[twinkleblazzer]

Hello,
I'm not sure I can help much...but I also have a son with ADHD...and high functioning autism/Asperger's. The first thing they did was put him on meds for the ADHD and got him on something that worked for him....there are many out there, you have to find the right one that doesn't affect your son the way you were saying. The only thing we notice with the meds is that he can listen better and make better choices. His grades went from D's and F's to A's and B's this year. The only side affect is that he has lost some weight. No drugged look or acting...nothing. BUT these weren't the first meds we tried...it took two others for us to get to this one...but I wouldn't stop them now for the world. They work great... He now asks for them because he knows they help him in school. He sees the difference himself.

ALSO...we put him on the meds and got him regulated to them in order to have him tested for the Autism. They wanted to take care of the ADHD so they could do more accurate testing for Autism. Once we took care of the ADHD you could see more easily the autism traits. Now we can work on those issues without them being drowned out by the hyper behavior.

Hope this helps....please work with your Dr. to find the right meds for your son. They each work so differently. ALSO....see a psychiatrist for the meds...they know more about how each will work and they will help you find one that works. much faster than a regular dr. will.

Good luck and Take care,
Carolyn

[tellybee]

Thank you so much for your comment.  I am so fustrated because I feel he has been misdiagnosed due to other behavior problems.  Like yesterday we went to a church that was not ours and diffrent people that he is not used to he was having anxiety he starts to put things in his mouth.  Where in this case the only thing he had was his shirt.  When church was all over it was so wet.  These are the things that concern me.  He does not listen and acts if I am not even there.  I feel medication is just covering up other things that might be wrong.  He has never been tested for anything.  I know there really is no test for ADHD.  They told me that it is really hard because he just turned 4.  Most of the medications he can't take because he is to young.  The medications that they did put him on I just could not stand watching him that way.  The psychiatrist said that the only alternative for him would be a non stimulant medication.  I think we are going to try that.  So thank you and hope that we can come to peace with all this in our house hold.

Christine

[MJIthewriter]

Also something to watch out for, sometimes stimulants like Ritalin don't have the reverse affect (calming) on someone with autism vs ADHD.

I was one of those people. Put me on a stim and I got MORE hyper. That was certainly a no go as far as my parents and teachers were concerned.

With some of the violent outbursts, it may help to see if there is a trigger to them and work on reducing the trigger. Usually meltdowns and such are a cause effect reaction to feeling overwhelmed and out of control, being flooded with emotion. Such emotions can be anger, hurt, sadness, loneliness and embarrassment. Not being able to fully recognize those emotions can cause the buildup and frustration. I'd say chances are high your son has every bit as normal emotions as everyone else, but not sure how to express them. They come out as a violent rage. Working on ways to help him recognize the emotions he feels and express them will probably help, at least if he can spot that he is getting stressed before it gets to the melting point. But since he is 4, this will likely be a long process. It took me into adulthood to recognize some of the more complex emotions I felt.