Asperger's Syndrome Community
Making a Special Moment
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This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding Asperger Syndrome issues such as: Balance, Behavioral Issues, Causes, Characteristics, Classification, Clumsiness, Communication, Diagnosis, Gait – Walking, Genetics, Medications. Parenting, Prognosis, Restricted and repetitive interests and behavior, School Issues, Screening Sleep Disorders, Social interaction, Speech and language, Treatment

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Making a Special Moment

Hello all. I am 31 years old, with an adopted sister who is 18 and is an Asperger's child. Well, adult. But anyone on these boards know what I mean. My family began fostering my sister when she was 6 weeks old, and throughout time problems began to expose themselves. Because of the intensity of raising an Aspie, I have always been highly involved in assisting with her and helping my parents to give them the breaks that they so very need, both before I moved out of the house and after. It's a very fine line, though (due to our age difference), between being a sister and being a mother, and our relationship has been through a lot of strenuious up and downs because of this. My sister did not do well when the time came for me to start my own life outside of the shelter of our little unit. When I left for college, she blamed herself. Thinking that I left because she wasn't normal. Then, when I truly moved out of the house, it turned  in to the abandonment  phase. It's a very deep and dark struggle for myself, because it was me who took these actions and it certainly didn't help her at all. The guilt and selfishness that I feel is overwhelming at times. She is my baby and it breaks my heart to contribute to any more of these Aspie issues, but I had to make a choice and I had to live my life. (Just for the record, I bought a house four blocks away from my parents, but that doesn't matter. I'm not "home."

So, pity party over. Something beautiful has happened. I am getting married. She asked me the other day if she could be my flower girl, because growing up I always told her that is what I wanted her to be! Well, it's not the same now that she's 18, so I asked her to be my maid of honor instead. She was THRILLED, which made my mom and I very happy.

The whole reason for me joining and posting on this board is because of the wedding and her. I want to do something for her, and only her, that shows our bond and our sisterhood and how important she is in my life. I am looking for advice and ideas about what I could do for her/with her. I thought about doing a sister/sister dance, just the two of us but that's too public for her I think. I've thought about doing a slide show of us. I just don't know.

Has anyone had any experiences like this or have any ideas? I really want to make her feel important and special on my special day to let her know that this doesn't change who we are or our bond. Thanks for the advice!
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