My mother - undiagnosed Aspbergers or something else?
My mother has been odd my whole life, but in the past 5 years or so I have begun to think that there is actually something different about her brain - that she'd not just an odd person.
She is extremely withdrawn socially - she has no close friends, is not married, and when she is placed in social situations she is quite awkward, discusses issues that people are uncomfortable with, and is quite passive aggressive. I used to think she was just depressed or angry, but I've casually mentioned some situations to her and she seems genuinely shocked that she comes across as rude.
She also repeats things several times within a few minutes. I used to think it was memory loss but it is more like she is fixated on an issue and she cannot concentrate on anything else until the issue is resolved. She also has difficulty with some processing and some language - for example, she continually pronounces words as they are spelled (like "salmon" and "quesadilla"), even though she is corrected each time she says them, next time she hears the correct pronunciated she acts like it's the first time she heard it. There also seems to be slow processing at some times. For example, at my birthday dinner a few years ago, someone said "Happy 26th Birthday!" to me and she said "What? I thought you were 25." When she saw that in fact I was 26, she said a few times over and over "26, ok. Ok, 26" and nodded her head. Or if I say something like "I am going to the doctor on Monday" she will repeat the statement back to me several times ("So you said you're going to the doctor on Monday?" "Doctor on Monday right, do I have it?"
For those that know about Aspberger's, do these symptoms sound like Aspberger's? If not, any ideas on what this could be? Also, how can I approach her about getting help?
The behaviors you describe are consistent with Asperger's Disorder, though only an evaluation can determine this with certainty. She can obtain such an evaluation through a mental health professional (psychiatrist, clinical psychologist). Many areas have Aspergers Accociations to offer resources and support. Check in your area for such groups.
As I read this I noticed similarities with MY mother too. The first similarity was the no close friends. The second was saying things in a social situation that people find uncomfortable..she'll just say ANYthing that pops into her mind, and say it LOUDLY. Another similarity you mentioned was the repeating things- my mom does this too with even arbitrary information, VERY similar to the, "Oh ok Doctors on Monday, got it.. Monday, do I have it?" I think some of these traits DO sound similar to Aspergers, and if your mom has any form of OCD at all, that also is prevalent. Does she find loud noises and crowds very irritating? That is a sign..or does she seem black and white in her thinking, very 'factual' sometimes, with not much empathy for others.. mainly focusing on herself /her needs?? These are signs as well, HOWEVER, I think some disorders can coexist/overlap with others...my mom for example does certainly exhibit traits of Aspergers, but she MORE exhibits many symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.
She'll rage and scream about the TINIEST thing, or if she feels you 'interrrupted ' her, she'll also rage abusively. She'll twist things around/lie, try to control ALL situations, she'll repeat Constantly things , like what the weather is (at least 4 times a day) , or repeat what she is 'doing' in the moment/talk to herself.. if you confront her, she is EXTREMELY narcissistic and thinks she Does NO wrong, and that it is All in 'my head' and formulates various reasons why you should just 'listen to what she's saying ' EVEN if she's repeated it 4 times, you need to 'just respect' her(while screaming this) :( .. it is very awful to live like this, being around her, and I'm working on getting her treatment, for a BPD diagnosis..so , I'm not sure if I helped at all, but I wanted to stress that 'some' of those symptoms of your mom do sound like aspergers; it is difficult to say officially, but try to see if she can see a psychologist for a dx. I know it is difficult to be around someone who can be passive aggressive ..it can REALLY wear you down :( ..My mom REFUSES to get help, so I may write/visit her doctor about how awful and abusive, repetitive, and rageful her behavior is..perhaps you can also write a letter to her PCP/dr. and get some advice or a referral for her to see a psychologist..i think that might be a good step.
Message me sometime on how things are, and I hope this offered any help, if not someone that surely can relate to you.. have a great day
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