My son, now 11 is diagnosed with Aspergers, ADHD, and ODD. His Aspergers is the main concern, but on meds for all 3. He had many meltdowns, been institutionalized many times and talks about wanting to die a few times a week now. He has attempted to commit suicide about 4 times since he was 9. The difference now about the death talk is that he hates who he is, what he does during his meltdowns (assault, violence, destruction of property, etc...) and knows he doesn't know how to control it, thus "he shouldn't have been born" and is a "horrible person/bad boy". He wants to understand WHY he is the way he is, WHY he does the things he does and HOW to stop it now. I have set up a bed for him, again, in a residential treatment facility that he's been before. for about a year when he was 9-10, that is a great place and he is willing to learn all he can, because really, he doesn't want to die. He is very high functioning, intelligent, but very poor in social skills. We've had to move so many times because of his behavior and lost everything. My question is, until he gets into res. how do I explain to him, other then I already have (and using Collaborative Problem Solving) why he is the way he is, because he refuses to use his tools or just can't. You know, 0-60 in 3 sec.
My heart goes out to you, having a child with complex support needs is tough going. We have three children with different ASD. There are several books that help explain Aspergers and ADHD for children, but it sounds like he may have depression possibly caused by the frustration trying to communicate with the world and express what he is feeling. He needs to understand that there is nothing "wrong" with him, he just thinks differently to most people, and try to identify any special interests that you can channel his energy in to. Good luck.
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