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bathroom problems with my son who has ASD
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bathroom problems with my son who has ASD

My son is 11 yrs old he will not go to bathroon for #2. I like how is this something that is asp Disorder charateristics.
He told me does not going on and sitting there. but he always smears it on the walls too. I made him clean it up. I like to understand him so I can help him. Please help me understand him.iI found about his asd at the age 8 yrs.old. School let him sit in it all day and I told about but will not change him until say something. And does not talk you.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm going thru something similar.    Read my post about my 9 year old who won't go.  My son will go but then he goes through months of doing it in his underwear and then hiding the underwear somewhere in his room.  I have been so frustrated wtih this.  Last sumer he ended up in ER in pain because he was so constipated.  He started Karate last September and is doing awesome.  He can do leadership right now - training to be a leader - but I let him know he needs to be a good leader all the time.  I think because of that he's really trying.  Would your son be interested in Karate??  Might help!   Sometimes I wonder if they get so busy they don't pay attention to when they have the urge.  Also, I wonder if they lose the feeling that tells them they have to go.
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Avatar_f_tn
Toilet problems have little to do with ASD per say.  My daughter hates to go - and though she has never has an accident at school - she has leaked a bit at home.  Usually kids do that because it is uncomfortable for them to go.  You can use mineral oil or senokot until they are going regularly.  Took my kid 6 month to get it right - and we have had occasional relapses.  Pack extra underwear and tell him to change if he has an accident at school.  But I can tell you, the school at going to clean an older child's rear for them - that opens them to all sorts of liabilities.
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470168_tn?1237474845
I agree with maggie, as I have heard a number of autistic people (eg. Donna Williams) and aspergers people say they have problems recognising 'internal' urges.  Sometimes they cannot tell that they need to go to the loo, sometimes they feel like they need the toilet all the time.  There can also be problems understanding when they are thirsty or hungry.  This type of thing is a sensory processing problem.  This is just one aspect and there could be other reasons behind it.  I know one of the first questions I was asked by the clinical paediatrician was 'does your son smear faeces on the wall/himself etc).  So it must be a common thing.  I did give my 7 year old some shoe polish to clean his shoes with and that ended up all over my walls!
Have you been back to the paediatrican (one with expertise in Aspergers) to get some advice.  
Is your son at a special school?  I don't think they should be letting him sit in it all day.  I think they should at least ask him the question (at regular intervals) of whether he needs to use the toilet or change himself, especially if he tends to get totally absorbed in something and not recognise he needs the toilet or ignore the urge until it is too late.  Afterall other children will be able to smell him and that could lead to teasing.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm going through something similar.  My son is almost 5 years old.  We are still having issues with him doing #2 in the potty.  He holds it in until he's to the point of crying because of the pain.  He also won't willingly go sit on the toilet.  He goes and squats down somewhere, sometimes right in front of me and my husband.  Pooping in the potty is always an unpleasant ordeal at our house.  He cries and pitches a fit about having to sit on the toilet, especially if it's not his idea.  Kindergarten starts in 3 weeks. We've circled the day on the calendar and are counting down the days until the first day of kindergarten and he ABSOLUTELY CANNOT POOP IN HIS PANTS ANYMORE.  Lately, his favorite thing is to play Tiger Woods golf on the Xbox.  He knows if he poops in his pants he cannot play golf until he poops in the potty again.  That's worked a little bit, but he's still pooping in his pants during the day at his grandparents' house.  I can't seem to get it through his head that he has to poop in the potty everyday, everytime without pooping in his underwear.  HELP!!!
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This is just a thought I had. I could be off base or maybe not.  I don't recall being a poop smearer, but I would with boogers as a kid...I hated the feeling of them in my nose and I didn't like them on my hands either... I'd find the nearest place to clean my hand off...
Now I'm wise enough to pack tissues with me to wipe and clean out my nose. I'll wash my hands some time after.

I wonder if that could be one of the reasons behind poop smearing.  Maybe it gets on the kid's hands when trying to get it off?  I wonder if the child could be taught to use a paper towel to smear on and throw away instead?  Just a random thought.

Yes not being very sensitive to the urge can occur. With me I can't put off #1 very long, so usually I'm pretty good at immediately using the bathroom, though if I am focused I may wait until I have to practically run to the bathroom. #2 is different because it can be put off a lot longer...  I found if I ignore the urge, it goes away...and may not come back until a day or two later.

I think there may be at least two reasons for not responding to the urge. One my be subconscious and the other is deliberate.  With me it seems to be deliberate. I tend to feel the urge but deliberately choose not to go, because it would interrupt me from whatever I am focused on doing...  I want to finish the task first and then use the bathroom. By then the urge usually goes away...  If I really have to go and it won't wait, then I will let myself be interrupted and use the restroom.

Whether or not any of your children are consciously aware of that urge to go (but ignoring it) or not consciously aware, is something only the child can know for sure. They may or may not be able to explain it...  If asked this question when I was younger, I probably couldn't give a good answer. I know I couldn't when confronted about the boogers...
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Avatar_f_tn
i cannot nelieve i am actually going to say this!! jeez
i hate for my bottom to be dirty, and i do not have the patience to sit on the toilet for a long period of time, i want it over in 3 seconds, so i wait until the last minute
and my son well he has had problems wiping in the past and i have pickd him up from school with soiled underware, we both have problems going to the bathroom in public so we try to hold it, sometimes accidents occur, when my son wipes he sometimes gets it on the toilet seat and i make him clean it up, infact he has such horrible bathroom habits he can only use one bathroom in the house and he is in charge of cleaning it,
babel i am not sure what to tell you about the school, now can your son talk, or do you mean he will not tell anyone when he has to go? i would stick with the idea that actions have consequences, that works best for me and my son, whatever problems we cause we have to deal with them, now that my son is in charge of his own bathroom he takes his time to wipe and checks the seat, see if you can talk to your childs teacher, ask her if she can allow your child to use a private bathroom, at joes school the bathroom is located in the back of the class room, he is uncomfortable going there so he walks down to a private guest bathroom
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Avatar_n_tn
My son is also 11 yrs old and has Aspergers.  He has many of the classic Asperger symptoms but also seems to have the same problem your son has.  He doesn't go to the bathroom for #2 until too late especially if his stool is soft or runny.  Sounds gross huh.  This happens in his sleep quite often too.  I firmly believe this is just another sensory deprivation that goes along with Aspergers and the simple fact that he doesn't mind wearing soiled underwear afterwords is another Asperger trait because he doesn't care if it isn't socially acceptable.  It still makes me cry.  Thank God it doesn't happen very much at school.  
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