4 year old behaviour at nursery

Hi my son is 4 years old, he has been at nursery for a year, the nursery are concened that my son isnt coping with sharing toys and has a huff or hits out if he doesnt get his own way. he will push or hit toys into other children. He is very loving to mum and dad (he is an only child) he has been very spoiled which I know is our fault. He is very active and but wouldnt say over hyper. he gets excitable like any other 4 year old. I think he is struggling to deal with not getting his own way all the time when playing with other children. Does this sound reasonable or should I be concerned like the nursery are? He is very sociable and loves talking to other adults and children. He uses his imagination to play with his toys ( which I think rules out Autism)

[Jessica L Thomason Sassi, Ph.D., BCBA-D]

Tantrums over sharing toys in 4 year-olds is a fairly common problem, so I don’t think you need to be concerned about autism or other diagnoses based on that type of behavior.  However, although it is fairly common, you still may want to be “concerned” in that you’d like for him to thrive at the nursery – you want the teachers to like working with him and for the other students to enjoy playing with him, etc. For that reason, you may want to look into some strategies that you can try out at home that help teaching sharing and waiting, and then help him carry those strategies over to other settings (practice at friends’ houses, etc., and enlist the help of the teachers are his nursery to use these strategies, as well).  

Best of luck to you