My 6 year old son has exhibited some questionable behaviour. Some info on him: At 6 years old (almost 7) he has had only a handful of dry nights. Most nights he wets the bed at least twice, sometimes up to 4 times. He has also begun wetting his pants during the day again (after being dry by day for about 4 years)- but only at home - never at school. He cannot seem to modulate the volume of his voice - he is always yelling. He has a few really good friends at school and his teachers praise him highly, but have added that he gets distraught when things aren't "perfect". He has always shown a tendency to play with younger children, and this year has taken to playing with the special needs students in his school - thus isolating himself. He rarely looks us in the eyes and refuses to take responsibility for any actions, or items lost. He needs constant praise, and can have tantrums that last up to an hour. He seems to lack empathy for children his age and above (including his family), but has endless patience with babies. He sometimes goes out of his way to hurt me - telling me he doesn't love me, and wishes he could have "a better mother, so he can have a better life." However, he only talks like that to me - never his father. He has spent the last 2 years in speech pathology, as he has problems with both phonics and language. He is, however, very sweet and incredibly smart - he is reading at a year 4 level in year 1, and his vocabulary is astounding. He loves cars and can recite endless details about "super cars", but doesn't seem to understand that others dont wish to talk about them all the time. Could he have a behavioural problem or Aspergers, or is this normal behaviour for a 6 year old? Please help, as we love him so much, and are anxious that we are getting angry at things that are beyond his control, rather than helping him. Thank
I recommend that you have your son assessed by a professional with experience diagnosing asperger's syndrome. Of course, an in-person assessment by a qualified professional is necessary to provide a diagnosis and treatment recommendations. Your pediatrician should be able to provide some suggestions regarding bedwetting and urinary accidents. It is important to rule out medical reasons for these problems. But, because your son does not have accidents at school, a medical problem is less likely. In your post, you identify situations in which your son has difficulties (e.g., accidents at home, hurtful statements towards you) and those in which he does not (e.g., no accidents at school, no hurtful statements toward others). This is an important approach to considering how to improve his behavior. First, it is clear that these behaviors are not "uncontrollable," because they occur only in some conditions. Next, you might begin to consider what is different about those situations in which the problem does and does not occur to get some ideas about how to improve his behavior. Please discuss these difficulties and engage in problem solving with a local pediatrician or psychologist who can help to guide you toward some solutions.
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