Does my child have mild autism or extreme anxiety?

My daughter is 9 yrs old. When she was 16wks old my husband had a huge heart attack (survived) I had a break down (psuedo pychotic episode) I was breast feeding at the time & had to stop I can remember being detatched from her. We all recovered & life carried on ok but then things started to feel a bit strange she would jump literally out of her skin when a lorry came past as we walked along the road, she found playgroup difficult & didn't run or jump until alot later than other children. When she was 3 we had another family difficulty which was traumatic for us all & I was pregnant, again we got through this although the consequences of that did continue in the background for some years. when she started nursery her grandma died, she started trying to force herself to be sick when I left her at nursery. From then she worries at school & extreme anxiety she never settled properly often I had to drag her into school kicking & screaming (I tried lots of techniques to help!) teachers always looked at me as if it was my fault. In year 2 (age 6/7) I decided to move schools we had an awful neighbour who was being horrible to us. I chose the school carefully I think it's the best thing I ever did, she has grown in confidence a lot. The thing is I still notice that she has irrational fears, worry's about almost everything, she has attachments to toys & objects, any paper she's written on, she can't throw or give anything away even to poor children. She doesn't find it easy to share, she doesn't seem to understand that her behaviour has an impact on others & how they feel. She worrry's about mysteries or surprises & would rather know in advance. The school is fairly understanding and she's having a little bit of help for anxieties but it doesn't seem to be the answer. Rewards don't work she gives up if can't achieve it - don't give big targets! she doesn't seem to understand instructions & takes long time to learn. What do you think this is & would a counsellor help?

[binnks]

lulabell74

Please Research Autism/Aspergers and you will find the answer to your Q. It is not your fault that you can't get her into school. She sounds as she is having Meltdowns that are causing her extreme pain. It doesn't really matter how others feel. She is the one that has to live with her behavior, she can't escape. You have to understand her  feelings are hurt when you don't understand. She needs her family to stick by her side, so when you do have the people that don't understand and think it's your fault.
She was not asked to be born this way. She is getting older and you need help now, please take her to a child Psychologist they will be able to help you.
Here is a good book you can get online at:

fhautism.com  >Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew

Good Luck :)