Does my son have Asperger's

[andersj2]

My son has very little  common sense or reasoning skill.  He is now 16 and is laughed at constantly in school.  He doesn't get jokes, he makes poor decisions, he's shy, afraid to talk to people.  He gets decent grades because he tries hard and is intelligent in certain ways.  He can memorize very easily but he is a terrible test taker because the test questions aren't presented the way he learned the material.  He can't understand card games where decisions need to be made to win.  He takes conversations very literally and doesn't understand puns or plays on words at all.  He doesn't notice things that an average person notices.  He has  good coordination but he talks slow and many times monotone.  I don't think he will ever be able to hold down a job because he just doesn't get normal day to day interactions.  He doesn't know what to say, what to do, and has very little initiative.  Also, certain things he can't learn like tying knots in fishing line, for example.  If the fishing line breaks, he has to get a new pole--he can't re-tie it.  It's very strange because he seems like he should be capable.  My brother has the same problem.  He has lived with my parents all his life, (he's 55) and has no friends or relationships.  He can't hold down a job but has 2-3 college degrees.  What's wrong with them.  Is it heritary?  How can I help my son?

[kerrigoo]

Hi,
I am going through the same thing with my 17 year old son. We always knew that he was immature and he was labeled as ADHD at about 7 years old. It is a long story, but I just recently realized that many of the issues he has could be considered Aspergers. Also, he is not growing "growing up" like we always assumed he would.

He also does not have any male friends, does not consider consequences of his actions, does not take a shower, brush his teeth, clean his room or do his homework without me asking him to. It doesn't matter how much we threaten to punish him or take his privilages away, his behavior does not change.

I recently found out that he was changing into his McDonald's uniform in his car outside of work. It never occured to him that he could get changed in the restroom. It broke my heart! You wouldn't believe the things I am learning about him that I was completely oblivious to. He never offered any information and I just thought he was being a typical teenager, growing away from his parents. Now I know that is so not the case.

You definitely need to see about getting your son tested by a professional, but you should be able to start with the school system. If he does have Aspergers, he would be considered disabled and there are laws that protect his right to receive the proper education and help.

Good luck.

[Rigil]

I'm posting a an article link written by Consultant Psychiatrist, Tom Berney, Aspergers syndrome from childhood into adulthood.  I consider it one of the better article I have read on clinical and diagnostic criteria associated with Aspergers syndrome.  
http://apt.rcpsych.org/cgi/content/full/10/5/341

If you feel your som meets the diagnostic criteria I would seek out large local hospital with a department that tests adolescents for autism spectrum disorders.  Another option would be local University with a Psycholoy department that test for autism spectrum disorders.

I wouls not take much nbotice of the School councillor's opinion, most believe the child has to be exhibiting autistic like behaviour to be Aspergers.  Was the Paediatrician trained or specialised in autism spectrum disorders?  I have come across many professionals who have ignorant views and opinions of Aspergers syndrome. If the person is not avoiding eye contact, arm flapping or displaying disruptive behaviour they cannot be Aspergers/ASD

[andersj2]

Thanks for the reply.  It helps to know someone else understands. Regarding having Steve tested...The school counselor thinks he's fine.  He is not a trouble maker or loud or disruptive so they don't see a problem.  I consulted a pediatrician with these problems last year.  He tested Steve for ADD Inattentive.  Nothing there.  People think Steve is lazy or shy or stupid or just not paying attention.  He is not trying to be any of these things.  He just doesn't know how to talk to people or stand up for himself.  You mention the McDonalds incident.  I can definitely see that happening.  Steve thinks he is a very good kid and doesn't understand why we punish him at times for his lack of effort around the house.  I feel bad punishing his because I don't think he can help it, but I'm trying to teach him life skills.  Do you have any idea where I could have him evaluated.  Even if he is diagnosed with something, I don't think there is any cure.  But maybe I could educate teachers and others about his condition.  Maybe it would help Steve if he knew why people were mean to him.  Not sure...