Does my son have autism?

My son is exactly 3 years old. My observations about him are

Shy / afraid of strangers, doesn't talk to them or say his name most of the time. When strangers visit the house, he tries to grab their attention by singing rhymes or playing with his toys. But, at times, repeating the same rhyme.
Give a blank look when people are asking him something.
He has good eye contact most of the time with parents
Sometimes he repeats what we say for e.g. you should not get into baby's crib ... he repeats it to me
At least 2 to 4 times in a day, he takes some circular objects and spins and also moves across the room. Some times there is no reply for what he is doing and sometimes he says that he drives a car
Atleast 1 - 3 times a day, he talks to himself by looking at his own hands ... He changes his hand postures while doing this activity. Also tip toe walking on these times. At times we don't understand what he is talking... kind of gibberish. Sometimes he keeps repeating a rhyme/song while he is talking to his own. Sings same song over and over , sometimes hums. On these times the voice will be very louder. The self talk happened at school as well
3-4 sentence words... some words are not clear. Note: We are multilingual
He does pretend play
Plays with the younger one ... when kissing the younger one he holds his teeth tight .. kind of grinding and he shivers a little
while doing some interesting activities, he makes the long sound  'Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm'
Identifies numbers 1-15, alphabets A-Z. sings almost 15 - 20 rhymes, basic shapes and colors. On the print out, he clearly identifies the rhymes even though he cannot read
Very fond of parents and loves cuddling. But does not even ask about the parent when they are away from him for a fortnight or so.
30 - 40 % of the time, he does not respond to his name.... looks at us after calling atleast 2 - 3 times. Sometimes without answering continues his activity. Sometimes does not say what he wants but says 'um um'.

[William L. Holcomb, Ph.D., BCBA-D]

Last week I asked a parent the same first question I frequently ask: what have been the pediatrician’s thoughts about your son’s development?  Pediatricians are often the first point of contact when any developmental problem is raised.  If you are in the United States, your son’s pediatrician would have referred you to a local Early Intervention Program for further assessment.  (But since you used the word “fortnight” so I’m thinking maybe a British background?).  In the US, as soon as a child with a suspected developmental disability turns three years of age, it is the responsibility of the local educational authority (usually your local city or town school) to do an educational assessment to determine if the child qualifies for special education services at that time.  You should check with your local government social services and educational agencies for the procedures where you live.  

Some of the behaviors you are describing may be the early signs of an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), but they may also be an example of the phenomenon that most professionals often describe as “the wide range of development with children”.  While there is certainly truth to this, it is very important to monitor any child who appears delayed in achieving a developmental milestone or whose behavior is atypical.  Your son sounds like he is developing typically in many areas, but that there are some areas of concern.  I strongly encourage you to follow up first with your son’s pediatrician.  

Below are several websites with information about autism spectrum disorders.  You may find it helpful to review these sites to see if you think you need to take your son in for further assessment.  

About.com Pediatrics
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/weeklyquestion/a/04_signs_autism.htm
American Academy of Pediatrics
http://www.aap.org/healthtopics/Autism.cfm
First Signs
http://www.firstsigns.org/