Grandson with Asperger's Syndrome

My grandson has Asperger's Syndrome,age 15,I live in CA,my son and grandson(and granddaughter) live in Montana,no Mother.We have a big loving family and my grandson is very much loved.He is good looking,has feminine mannerisms,rude and disruptive to people and teachers plus numerous other things.OK.....He gets STRAIGHT A'S.........
and is so smart that he bullies other teens and adults because of his superior attitude  even his father(who is quite
intelligent).....he spends the rest of his day reading(things like Nietzsche and Aristotle)........He go's to a Psychiatrist, his temper is so bad that at almost nothing he will spew out the ugliest things and has picked up
a knife before to scare everyone. The next day he will be cuddling and loving up some puppies or a kitten.
He takes 50 mg of  Vyvanse each morning. My son told me he has been smoking,stealing cigarettes,breaking the
lock to get into the car for cigarettes,smoking in his room and putting them out on paper! When my son asked him
do you care about how I feel when I'm so upset? he always says not at all, or anybody else!  My son has been
told he needs to put him in a mental facility for young people to get the help that he needs. My son is heart sick at the thought........My grand son DOES LOVE his father and his family. Would like some experience's or help with
this problem..........of coarse it is quite complicated, my son doesn't have the money for the help he really needs,
it is all from Social Service's etc.       Thank you very much

[Richard B. Graff, PhD, BCBA-D]

I appreciate the time you took to write about your grandson.  I have to admit, some of what you wrote is very concerning.  Some of the behaviors you mentioned, such as putting out cigarettes on paper, or scaring people with a knife, are potentially dangerous (especially since you mentioed that his temper is bad).  I would certainly raise your concerns with your grandson.  Ask if the psychiatist is aware of the more risky behaviors that your grandson has engaged in; if not, the psychaitrist needs be made aware of these.  If it was the psychaitrist is the one who recommended that your grandson needs to be put in a facility to get the services he needs, he may already know.  Although your son may be heartsick at the thought of this, remind him that his primary concern needs to be keeping the child safe and ensuring that he gets the services he needs.  Obviously, I am not able to know if he truly needs this level of treatment, but if this issue has been raised by the psychaitirst, your son needs to take this very seriously, and do what is best for your grandson.

I wish you and your family the best of luck in the future.

[sun2810]

I also have aspergers syndrome. if you need any advice i am here to talk. what your grandson needs is someone like me. i am also 15. i think what your grandson needs is someone who is sensible, with aspergers syndrome and 15 to talk to. i hop i have helped in some way.