Having 2 year old evaluated for learning disability...

I have a 29 month old who I feel is developing really well.  He knows ABCs, can count to 20, knows colors and shapes, and has a tremendous vocabulary.  He even reads a little.  My husband on the other hand thinks there are certain things about him that we need to have checked out.  When he gets frustrated, he doesn't communicate what is wrong, he doesn't always listen when we talk to him, there are some words and phrases that aren't clear...hmm, I think I have covered it all.  To me, these are normal 2-year old behaviors since he is still learning how to communicate.  At the same time, I don't want to brush it off if it is something that we need to address now.  So, do you feel there is a need for an evaluation, and where do I start in finding someone?  I have to do something because my husband is driving me crazy about it and I don't want my son to start picking up on the fact that he insists that something is wrong with him.  Personally I feel my husband is caught up in comparing my son to his peers who may be more advanced at certain things and dwells on that instead of what my son IS capable of compared to others.  Either way, I guess we need a professional to tell him that!!  Please help!!!!!!

[Jessica L Thomason Sassi, Ph.D., BCBA-D]

The problems that you described – problematic behaviors that manifest when something is difficult or frustrating – are fairly common in typically developing children.  And there is certainly some variation in when children acquire certain skills (as it sounds like you and your husband may be worried that he is behind in some areas). Neither of those characteristics necessarily means that your child has a developmental disability; it really depends on the extent of the delay to meeting developmental milestones.
Diagnostic criteria for Pervasive Developmental Disorders (including Autism, Aspergers, and others) include delays in social interaction skills, communication skills, and the presence of stereotyped or restricted behavior and interests.  Based on your description, it doesn’t sound as though he meets criteria for these disorders.  However, I would recommend that you contact your pediatrician and explain your concerns in more detail –an in-person consultation with a qualified individual is the best way to determine whether your son is meeting the milestones along what is considered a typical timeline.
Good luck