Is this Aspergers or just behaivor problems

[d_balogh]

My son has just turned 4 years old, and a couple of years ago someone came to me and told me that they thought he had Aspergers syndrome.  I brushed it off like it was nothing and never payed any more attention to it.  I just thought he was being a 2 year old.  But now at 4 some of the things have not gotten any better.  Some examples are he really lacks common sense.  Things that he SHOULD know are just absoultly not right to do he'll do.  He is very uncoordnated.  His hand eye coordination is so bad.  I mean I can even point to the phone sitting on the arm of the sofa and ask him to hand it to me and he will walk to the other side of the room and start looking for it.  And he seriously cant follow my finger.  His vison and hearing have been tested and both came back that they fine.  But something has to be going on.  He is not one to have anything changed on him.  When we get a schedule down he doesn't like when it gets changed, but honestly I thought that was because for a little boy he has had to put up with a lot of change.  I notice some problems interacting with other kids.  He just doesn't want to.  I notice more that he wants to be with his teacher more then with other kids.  His speech is also behind.  He is very hard to understand.  Even for me.  I have to have him repeat himself numberous times and he gets so mad at me because I can't understand him that I finally just have to say ok Christian because I don't know what he's talking about.  He cant write any part of his name, and almost all the kids in his class can write all if not part of his name and he can't write any letters.  We have tried working with him but after like 2 or 3 minutes of working with him he wants nothing to do with it and can't focus any more.  I just don't know what's going. on.

[Sally44]

The only way that your son will get a diagnosis is if he is assessed and observed by a multi disciplinary team who have experience and expertise in diagnosing autism and aspergers.  You should go to your doctor and request he refers you to the relevant professionals or clinic.  Your son will need to have enough characteristics out of each section for him to get a diagnosis.  Google DSM IV for Aspergers and see what the criteria is.  However, as you mention you cannot understand what he is saying, that sounds more like autism as those with Aspergers have normal language development - so google DSM IV for autism as well.
I don't think the things you mention are down to behaviour because you say he is uncoordinated, and that he seems unable to follow simple verbal instructions and that you cannot understand what he is saying to you.  They all indicate a problem, not behaviour, although frustration at not being able to communicate or get his needs met may lead to frustration and behavioural issues.
He needs to be assessed by a Speech and Language Therapist for his language and social interaction skills and an Occupational Therapist to assess his balance/coordination and other sensory functions.
When you see the doctor also mention that he doesn't seem interested in interacting with his peers, that you cannot understand what he is saying to you and that he cannot tolerate changes to his routine and say that you suspect he maybe on the autistic spectrum.
You need to start this process because if you cannot understand him and he is 4, he is going to have alot of difficulties when he starts school, and everyone needs to know what his strengths and weaknesses are prior to school so that supports are in place by then.
I am not a professional, I am a parent of a child on the autism spectrum.

[Rachel Thompson, Ph.D., BCBA]

If you have not done so already, I recommend that you share these concerns with your son's pediatrician. It is very important to intervene early, no matter what the diagnosis. It will be important for you son to get help with his speech difficulties and for you and your son's teachers to get some strategies for how to work with him to promote development in all areas.