MY SISTER NEEDS HELP!!!!

[ConcernedAunt81577]

LETS START BY SAYING MY SISTER HAS 5 KIDS THE 2 OLDER ONES FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE, 11YR OLD DAUGHTER AND 8 YR OLD SON, THEN COMES MY 3 YR OLD NEPHEW, 1 AND 1/2 YR OLD NEPHEW AND 1 MONTH OLD NIECE, THE 3 YR OLD IS COMPLETLY OUT OF CONTROL, EXTREMLEY HYPER WILL NOT SIT STILL WHEN U PUT HIM IN TIME OUT, RIPS TOYS FROM HIS BABY BROTHER HITS THEM WITH THOSE TOYS OR JUST HITS HIM WITH HIS HAND, PULLS HIS BROTHERS HAIR ETC.. WHEN HE'S TOLD NO HE LITERALLY THROWS HIMSELF ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING AND LIKE STRETCHING HIS LEGS OUT AND STIFFING UP WHILE SCREAMING, WHILE DOING THIS HE BENDS HIS FINGERS BACK UNTIL HE HURTS HIMSELF WHICH MAKES HIM SCREAM MORE, WHEN HE'S TRYING TO DO SUMTHING HE WILL WHINE AND SCREAM SO LOUD IF HE CANT GET IT DONE HIMSELF, INSTEAD OF JUST ASKING FOR HELP HE'LL GET MAD AND JUST THROW IT..EXAMPLE, HE'S THIRSTY SHE'LL HAND HIM WATER HE WILL THROW IT ON THE FLOOR CUZ HE WANTS SOMETHING OTHER THAN, HE'LL TAKE HIS 1 AND 1/2 YR OLD BRO. IN THE ROOM AND LOCK THE DOOR AND HIT HIM AND BE MEAN, HE WON'T SLEEP AT NIGHT IT'S A FIGHT JUST TO GET HIM TO LAY DOWN HE KEEPS GETTING UP NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES WE GET UP AND LAY HIM BACK DOWN... HE TAKES OFF OUT THE FRONT DOOR MY SISTER HAS TO RUN AFTER HIM CUZ HE JUST WONT LISTEN..HE'LL STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRAMPOLINE WHEN IT'S TIME TO COME IN CUZ HE KNOWS SHE CANT REACH HIM... HE ALSO ROCKS HIMSELF ON THE COUCH BACK AND FORTH, I BELIEVE ITS A WAY OF CALMING HIMSELF I'M NOT SURE. HE THROWS HIS HEAD BACK AND HITS THE FLOOR WHEN YOU TRY TO PICK HIM UP TO GIVE HIM A HUG OR ANYTHING. I'M REALLY WORRIED MY SISTER IS GOING TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN AT THE YOUNG AGE OF 28..SHE DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO, INSTEAD OF HER HAVING CONTROL SHE HAS CONTROL OVER HER.

[Jason C Bourret, Ph.D., BCBA]

This is obviously a very intense and stressful situation. Based on the information you provide, I can’t tell if an autism-spectrum disorder diagnosis might be appropriate for your nephew but having him assessed might provide useful information. Typically developing 3-yr olds can display the sort of tantrums and problem behavior that you’re describing, so while he might meet the criteria for a diagnosis, he might not as well. In any case, dealing with that sort of behavior can be very difficult especially if your sister has a number of other children to care for. I would highly recommend seeking out a board certified behavior analyst in your area who has experience working with children like your nephew. These sorts of behavior problems are treatable and there are professionals who should be able to help your sister work on a plan for how to handle them.