My 4 yr old and A.S.

Hi, My son is 4, he'll be 5 in april. He is in preschool right now and they are currently doing an Autism Cont. accessment on him. They believe that he is low on the Cont. and more likely to have Aspergers Syndrome. The issues they see with him at school is that he plays "near" the other kids. If he does play with other kids it is usually one on one. He is very artistic and over focused on art type activities. He is a rule stickler. If anything in the room is out of place after clean up he cant control himself and has to say something about it or fix it. His cognative skills are at or above age level, so he is extreamly smart. He talks very grown up like. He uses a vast vocabular, but he is very one sided in conversations. They say he doesn't converse well with the kids his age. The issues I see at home is he is very emotional. Its always extreamly happy, or extreamly angery. He is very independent. He sneeks off and gets himself something to eat. He never expresses to me when he's hungry. He has this weird foot thing. He hates walking in the grass, (dirt) in the front yard. He doesn't like it when other people take his shoes off, or if one falls off when he's in the he throws a fit. But he'll wear flip flops no problem. He stays in his room and has the biggest imagination i have ever seen. He can keep him self occupied for hours. He talks fine with me and my husband. When he plays with his cars or figures he sets them up in a certain order and gets mad if we move them around or mess with them. He loves legos and is very inventive. Most of these I really don't see as issues I see as strengths. Now I guess my question is .. is this all possible just because he is an only child. I am a young parent and don't know many of other people with children so he has had very little interaction w/ kids his age since he was born. Preschool has really been his only steady interaction of this type. Do you think maybe it's just taking him awhile to get in the groove?

[Rachel Thompson, Ph.D., BCBA]

As you may know, Autism is characterized by deficits in language and social development as well as the presence of restricted and repetitive behavior. A diagnosis of Asperger's Disorder is assigned based on deficts in social development and the presence of repetitive behavior, with no language or cognitive delays. Your description does sound more consistent with the criteria for Asperger's, but it is not possible to assess the severity of symptoms without a thorough, in-person assessment. So, I do recommend that you pursue an evaluation. Whether or not a diagnosis is assigned, though, it is important for you to consider your son's strengths and weaknesses (as you are currently) and to make decisions about his care and education based on those strenghts and weaknesses. So, even if you son is not diagnoses with Asperger's it would be important for you to work with his school to address his social difficulties. Likewise, he will need to learn to tolerate things being out of place and disruptions to his routine.

[Sally44]

I am a mum of an 8 year old boy with high functioning autism.  You can google DSM IV Aspergers and read the diagnostic criteria for that.  
As  you say, many of the behaviours and traits can be seen as strengths.  However in our social world I think you can see that his language and social interaction difficulties are going to cause him some problems as well as he need to keep to routines.  His need for rules and inflexibility is going to cause him stress and anxiety.  He also sounds like he may have some sensory issues.  
My son also appears very independent.  Unfortunately it is not that they are 'independent', it is because they don't get social interaction, otherwise they would ask for things or help to get things rather than attempt to do stuff themselves.  
Infact tonight, I was upstairs doing homework with my daughter, when my son came into the bedroom to apologise to me.  I asked him "what are you saying sorry for", and he said "for losing the dog, but don't worry I found him now".  I always keep our house doors/windows locked, so I asked him "what have you done"?  And he told me that he had wanted to go next door to say hello to the neighbours.  But because the front door and side gate was locked, he went down the garden, climbed over the wall into their garden and went and knocked on their door.  When he went into the garden the dog got out through the hedge and was on the road.  He called it to come back in and it did, and he returned back over the wall and into the house.  And I missed all that in 20 min!!!  Now, on the one hand, he was trying to be social.  But everything was inappropriate.  He is 8 and he should not leave the house without telling me.  He shouldn't climb over walls into other people's property.  He let the dog escape.  He didn't come to get help he tried to solve it himself.  Then he thought about what he had done, decided he had made a bad call and came to apologise.  
Your son will have some similar issues.  He may tend to talk at people rather than hold a two way conversation.  At the moment he is 4 and children can be quite forgiving at that age (they can also be nasty too), but I would advise you to find the right educational environment for him, which ideally would be in a school that has other pupils with Aspergers and has experience and expertise in teaching them academically and socially as well as teaching them life skills.  That maybe in a mainstream school, or it maybe in a mixtured environment.  
I don't think his difficulties are down to being an only child.

[Rastagal]

I can completely identify with the feeling of "am I being an worried parent or is there really something more going on". My son is around the same age as yours, just turned 5 in December and is going to be tested through the school system for Aspergers by a Neuropsychologist. I was going to get him individualized testing but he is already in a a special education class (Pre-K) at an elementary school, so they suggested while they were doing his annual testing they would include this since his problems are more along the Social/Behavior level and not learning. My son has alot of the same traits as yours, very imaginitive and intense while building with Legos etc. Also he is usually VERY happy but is very sensitive and can lose control and become sad at a moments notice.

The main thing is to find the right type of school environment where the staff is educated and has experience with these types of children, which can be hard because it's almost as if they fall in between..they don't really have serious problems,  but they do need some type of special care because of their different needs . It takes a big weight off when you know they are somewhere they will flourish.

[readytopop]

Thank you for your comments... It helps to hear from others you are or have experienced the same things. My son is currently under evaluation at his school and I hope everything goes well. I know whether my son is diagnosed or not that he does have some needs that should be of concern at his next grade level. I hope to find the right school in my area and the right teachers that can excert some special care for him. Thanks again.