Need advice for son wth pdd-nos

Both my twins were dx with pdd-nos at age 16 mths & after intense EI they have made huge improvements & now (at age 4 yrs) only one qualify for special ed, the other did not inspite of me trying twice with the school district but everytime the same story of "he's doing academically good & no issues in preschool classroom". I am happy that my son is smart & enjoying school but at the same time i am spending sleepless nights on wondering if he needs some services . The issues he has at home is visual stimming with trains, at school SOMETIMES very sensitive (cries if some kid refuses share toys)-cannot stand up for himself, but overall the teacher has no complains. They go to the head start program & also attended 2 preschools b4 & had no issues.

I know that my son would be the smartest and less impaired of all of children in a special ed class, which I think would not be fair to him, given his ability to participate on a regular class and eventually learn social skills (hopefully) from NTs . But at the same time i am wondering what holds for him in future at school for which i need to make him ready with therapy???????? should I wait for problems to arise & then seek help.. I am SOOOOOOOO confused.

My kids also have medical needs(auto-immune ds) so i am very much stressed & sometimes donno which needs to focus on:(

[Jason C Bourret, Ph.D., BCBA-D]

Having a child with special needs can be extremely stressful and making sure that your child gets the services he needs can be a struggle. It sounds like you’ve done just the right thing for your boys so far. Early intervention is extremely important and can have a huge impact. If your son has a PDD diagnosis, he should have an IEP that lays out the educational goals for him for the year and the services that he’ll be receiving. If he’s in a typical classroom but is receiving services to address his needs, than that may very well be sufficient. However, if you are seeing clear needs that aren’t being addressed by the school, keep fighting to get them and seek those services out right away.