Simply curious

I feel like i'm about to write a little mini biography about me, my experiences. I just honestly feel like i need the reality that i know of to be reaffirmed. Not sure how many here have heard of the 11:11 phenomenon, but  for the past two weeks i've been seeing all sequences of this number. 1:11, 11:11. 3:11 etc etc. The point is the number 11. I saw it so much i was frustrated, and didn't know what it meant. So i looked it up to find giant online communities all centered around recurring 11:11 sitings on digital clocks and so forth. This is interesting because on december 21st, 2012, at 11:11 am, the mayan calendar ends. There it is again, the number 11:11.

First off, i ask the question why me. Not everybody has seen the recurring 11's. I feel like i'm losing my mind. I honestly do.

I'm 21yrs old, i'm devoted to nothing more than a few clients as a personal trainer and the size of my arms. I'm devoted also to my little bro and my parents but i don't think my parent's realize it. I think they are too wrapped up in how I'm going to make a living for myself...I know i can make a living. But I AM too wrapped up in the future, this 2012 end date...and as a result i feel like I'm losing touch with the reality most 21yr olds are experiencing. I've always been a little out of touch with others. I'm always thinking. I need others in my life apart from my family...but i just find other people my age boring. and guys my age want to compete with me and that becomes tedious.

. Not that appearance or size  offers any justification, but i am 6'8", 285lbs and 17% body fat. I've had people tell me i have a perfect face, cute, good-looking, blah blah. I only say this to illustrate no actual difference between me and others but the way I VIEW myself in light of the whole. Ego is a counterbalance for everything we are NOT. If this is the case, then my ego must be ginormous and partially if not fully spoiling any motivation to develop friendships, etc. I just need balance.