My five year old son is not toilet trained.He has strong comunication skills and is generally a well behaved child. He has an extreme fear of the bathroom/toilet.We begun our toilet training at age 2 but since February I have put everything I could to try to get somewhere with this challengeWe have come a long way, he is finally sitting on the toilet without clothing which is something that seemed impossible months back, but I can not get him to pee. He holds for 8 to 9 hours at a time.I gave him a large amount of liquids thinking that he would be okay once he saw himself pee, as he has never seen himself pee ( not even in the tub!) He was not okay with pee once it happened. I am afraid of doing more damage as he is holding on for so long! My husband tried to direct him to pee in the toilet and he had a pananic attack.Today I finally gave a pull up after 8 hours as I do not feel it is good to retain for that long.I tried cutting a whole in the pull up,however the pull up absorbed all of the pee. I also tried a swimmer as they are less absorbant but he would not pee in it as he knew their was a slit I cut in it. After giving him a pull up he urinated and had a bowelmovement. I am constantly reading and searching for new and creative ways to help my son. This is not his first fear and he does seems to work things in his own time.The problem is he is starting grade one next week and he needs to be toilet trained. At his new school they have a private washroom for their class. We have a 'How to use the bathroom' on our wall with pictures. We have a day schedule with toilet breaks on the schedule to develop a timed bathroom training at the very least. To assist relexation our upstairs bathroom has a large fish tank, a portable dvd, a large selection of stories and paper to draw mazes. We tried no tv or video games several days. Offers of grand rewards, prewrapped presents that he can see there is an immediate item, training dolls, videos, potty books. Please help.
IT is so helpfull to see that i am not alone . my grandson goes to nursary when he plays with outher children he wont go to the toilet because he is enjoiying himself so much. it is so embarasing when all three teachers come to you one at a time to tell you he has had an acident . i tried boxer shorts last week and a number 2 went all over the carpet at school one of the teachers sliped in it and some of the children got it on their shoes . i just wanted the ground to swalow me. to day i am taking my grandson to the dr s . because the health visitor has got no more advice for me we have tried everythig. any advice please.
It is very tough. My son now will not go to the bathroom at school, although that is not good, it is the best we have at the moment. The UnderJams Night Wear absorbent underwear work really well. They are designed to hold more then the standard pull up. There is another brand as well but I don't have the name available. I would not do this at home as if he is going to the washroom it is not good to get him off the path but for school and night time (night time training should be separate) it should be okay. You can rent the video's for the library as well. 'I can go potty', is a good one. If reinforcers work for you, you can try to set up a sticker, token or chocolate chip schedule for the good days as a treat for success. The only other thought I have is do you know if he has ever gone to the washroom at school? It is not uncommon for many children not wanting to go in a strange place and he is just to young to hold it. We have had no assitance with doctors, however it is good to speak to them to eliminate any medical challenges. I have looked into a behavioral therpist however they are very $$$$. Sorry I can't be of more help I know how difficult it is.
I can partially relate - since he was 3 y.o, my son would not go by a public bathroom...It has improved by itself - although he never goes #2 at school (he went a couple of times on a road trip when he really could not hold it in).
Anyway, as for behaviour therapist - behavior analysis is not a rocket science, just methods to teach skills by dissecting them into small pieces.....Try parenting support groups - there are a lot of people out there with similar problems
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