Worried about 2yr old

Hi there,

I'm worried that my 2yr old may be on the spectrum, but then I also don't want to label him if he's jus "quirky." He just turned two a few days ago.

The things that make me worry: his eye contact is spotty - he can make eye contact for extended periods, but he has trouble coordinating eye contact, words and gestures. He also has trouble answering his name if he's really engrossed in something else. He can be shy around other kids, but, he does get excited to play with kids he knows. When he is stressed he likes to lay down and tune out. He's very independent and doesn't often ask for help.

The things that make me NOT worry: points to show interest, brings us books to read with him, has hundreds of meaningful words, speaks in 4-6 word sentences, plays with a variety of toys in a variety of ways, no sensory issues, loves all kinds of food, no rigid routines/meltdowns, no repetitive behavior, loves and can name family members, says hello and goodbye, recognizes the difference between a happy face and a sad face, knows colors and shapes and can count to 10 and sing abcs (I don't think he truly knows what the counting and numbers represent though), can run and jump, etc.

So I guess my question is...is funny eye contact always autism? I'm afraid he'll be unnecessarily labeled for life, which makes me hesitant to eval him. Sometimes I think people are looking to diagnose no matter what, if that makes sense.

Any input would be great!

[Richard B. Graff, PhD, BCBA-D]

Thanks for taking the time to post your question on the forum.  Obviously, I can't provide a diagnoses (or confirm that there should be no diagnosis) based upon reading a few sentences about a child.  But, to answer your question the best I can, no, inconsistent eye contact does not always mean a child has autism.  Typically, children with autism show three core characteristics:

1. A qualitative impairment in social interactions
2. A qualitative impairment in communication
3. A restricted or stereotyped pattern of activities, interests and behaviors

If you feel that your child shows all of these characteristics, then you should definitely raise these concerns with your pediatrician.  If not, you may just want to keep an eye out for these (having just turned 2, it is difficult to evaluate some of these, and sometimes these issues become more apparant as children get a bit older).  

As for your comment that your child does not have "meltdowns", just wait....the "terrible two's are approaching!  

Best of luck to you and your family.