bedtime and sleeping

Hi,
My son 41/2 with autism has trouble going to bed and falling asleep. We've tried to establish a routine but it takes around and hour for the last few phases of the routine--put on pj's and diaper, brush teeth, get into room pick a book to read. he runds around the house and tries to avoid going to  bed.  He also seems to get anxious to be alone and wants to hold my hand, or have me lie next to him. when the lights are out he has trouble settling down and lying still. He'll want water etc. ( I don't like giving him water since he'll urinate in his diaper), He starts whining. I started telling him if he whines I'll leave the room. I aslo try to leave and  say I'll be back in 5 minutes... when I come back he usually sits straight up in bed. he is usually asleep between 9:45 and 10:30.. I'm conking out around 10.... help.

[Rachel Thompson, Ph.D., BCBA]

I think it would help for you to be more in control of the bedtime routine. As you have described it, you son is successful in delaying bedtime (and your departure) by dawdling and making requests. Make sure your son's needs are met before starting the bedtime routine. Give him a few sips of water, and take him to the bathroom. Then start the routine. You should give your son a few minutes to pick a book. To speed this along, give him just a few books to choose from. If he doesn't choose in a minute or two, choose for him. Over time he will learn to choose quickly if choosing is important to him. If you both enjoy lying together before he goes to sleep, do that for a brief period, but do not allow him to prolong your visit by whining or negotiating. It may be best to start this briefer routine later in the evening to increase the likelihood that he will fall asleep quickly, allowing both of you to meet success. Then gradually move the routine earlier so that you can get your son to sleep at a reasonable time. Checking back every 5 min or so if fine. If you do this, minimize your interaction and just tuck your son back in as you did before leaving his bedroom initially.

[counter345]

Try giving him some milk, and try things his way for once.

[mtgoat911]

i am a member of a autism play group that meets once a week, all the adults and children suffer from sleep disorder
for me it has little to do with "bed time" or trying to get away with staying up late, for my son too
its more to do with the inability to sleep, no way to stop thinking to get to sleep, i read but sometimes i go several nights without sleeping,
this all started for me when i was around 8 and my son started around 5, after doctors visits, forced bed times, sleeping pills, i found a few things that did work, first see how wired your child is, i read to my son every night, sometimes thats enough, but on nights when he is showing all his aspie defects i give him a massage with organic coconut oil, and let me tell you it works!!! he falls asleep fast, on moderate nights we also use book on cds after story time, he has a cd player beside his bed, we turn it on and let him listen to it until he falls asleep
,i do this for my son because i remember the obsessive thoughts i had at bed time as a small child, they would attack me when i laid down, there was a definant forced bedtime, there were nights when i just stayed up all night, then went to school the next day, most of my childhood i was on ritalin so that did not help, now i take tenex for my asper symptoms and it has really helped, and is not narcotic
because of my life experience with this condition i take half an hour a piece to put each of my children to bed, its really not that long, 30 minutes out of your day to spend one on one,
well this is a doctors forum, i do not even know why i am posting this, maybe because its late and i cannot sleep,
when an adult cannot sleep they are not forced to stay in the bed alone with their thoughts, i typically allow my kids to get out of bed if they cannot sleep, usually i am up so we can talk for a few minutes and then they are ready for bed, i do not know why or how this works but it does

[sunshine1976]

Both my children love the calm for kids meditation CDs.  They are guided imagery CD that take the kids on adventures.  They make a big point to metion how safe and secure the children are in their bed.  My son listens to him everynight & bed time is a breeze now. www. calmforkids .com