Have you considered ADHD? If he has normal speech, good eye contact and is able to play with other children in a small group, the answer is not PDD. Talk to a professional about ADHD. You should consult a child development doctor and not just a consuler. God luck.
I think there is a fine line between ADHD & Asperger's Syndrome (or PDD). The fact that he doesn't like crowds, doesn't want to be a part of a group, and bosses people around sounds like it is more than ADHD. My daughter is 10 and has Asperger's. Every day when I picked her up from preschool the teacher would pull me aside & say how my daughter would not do what everyone else was doing, would not sit in the time out chair, etc. This is not normal for preschool! Tell your husband this problem is not going to just go away, and the sooner you figure out the problem, the better off everyone will be, especially your son! Good luck to you.
I am sorry for the delay in responding; we have been having internet and e-mail issues. Given your description and your concerns I would definitely set up an extensive evaluation by a developmental pediatrician or pediatric neurologist to see if there is any evidence of diagnosable syndromes. In addition I would approach the school counseling services to see if they can provide you with some therapy directed at improved behavior.
I have a daugther like at she would sit down for a few min,but now she is a let better .Finish i talk to my child to see if she don't like the place where she at and go to the preschool to see how she act at the school.And if the school is good for her. Then when i seen what the teacher was said i ask doctor what they can do to help me .They gave my a diet to help her it was not a lots of sugar and cut out of kool-aid and juice with sugar .When you at home take time to sit down with the child and see what the child did at school and see if at help at school.
If he is having difficulty in the context of a group, you might want to consider having the Behavior Analyst observe your son in the context of a group. Others are asking you to consider ADHD. Look at the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV) and see if what you are seeing matches up with the symptoms or criteria for ADHD. Also, a Developmental Peditrician will be able to guide you through this process and/or help you find resources for your child. Although it may take a while to get an appt. it should be worth the wait.
I am searching for help with my 9 year old son. His diagnosis has never been clear, and I don't believe he is getting the help he needs. Could you please contact me? I have so many questions. Thank you and take care.