Aa
sleeping
Can anyone tell me what kind of bed their autistic/adhd child sleeps in? I have a tall 3 year old that does not do well in a single bed but sleeps better in a play pen. There is less movement and she doesn't trash her room. She can climb out of the playpen but doesn't do it when the lights are off. The problem is she is too big for the play pen...and too big for a crib. I've tried doube side railings on a single bed but she is still restless and gets out even in the dark.
My other question is ...she does not walk and only runs all the time. She can't slow herself down with trying really hard or me disaplining her for it. A back pack harness works well if we are out and I walking beside her holding on...but once she is free...she takes off. Running is easier for her..but very dangerous because she cannot stop in time...any suggestons?
My other question is ...she does not walk and only runs all the time. She can't slow herself down with trying really hard or me disaplining her for it. A back pack harness works well if we are out and I walking beside her holding on...but once she is free...she takes off. Running is easier for her..but very dangerous because she cannot stop in time...any suggestons?
My daughter will sleep in one of three beds. In her room, she has a toddler bed (we dismantled her crib last month when she fell out climbing out -- which she was liking the crib and was very sad to see it taken down... but she saw her old mattress go into the new toddler bed and realized she was keepign her mattress.... and she is going on 3, and is really really tall so the crib had to go). She also has a twin sized sort of loft bed. It's only about 4 feet off the ground. ANd it has a slide down. Sometimes she sleeps in our room with us. SHe doesn't like dark, so we have a night lamp with about a 15 watt bulb in both her room and our room. I can not sleep in dark either. I'm really afraid of it. Some kids need darker rooms if they aren't afraid of the dark and have a harder go at sleeping if there is too much light. Oh, and we gated the upstairs. SO if she gets out of her room, she can go to our room but can't get to the rest of the house. Oh, she also hates blankets. Won't wear one at all. She loves pillows however. SHe will usually sleep on one pillow and use a second as a blanket. She also likes throwing herself on top of them and rolling around the pillows while she tries to get sleepy.
Oh, ways to get her to sleep. Music in the background. A soothing massage before bed, though if she figures out what we are trying to do (get her sleepy) she'll do stuff to rev herself up like jumping, head banging, etc. A therapist recently taught us different joint compression exercises to do on her, that you just press and you don't pump (the other exercises were revving her up too much). And there are some other techniques a physical therapist could show you, but I can't really explain because you have to do them accurately or they won't work or would do the reverse. Stuff like there's this thing where if you hold your hands with minimal pressure at their sides, you force them to deep breathe, which will relax you. But you have to have someone who knows what they are doign show you because you need the right amount of pressure and in the right place. You don't want to do it too hard because you could hurt them. Or in the wrong place because it would probably just annoy them. Anyways, the joint compression thing is also something a physical therapist could show you. And not all of them know of alternate techniques (our previous one seemed to think the joint compressions that had lots of pumping would calm our daughter down, when they revved her up... some kids have different responses to the same techniques, that if you have an OT try some things out and show you them, she/he could assess what sensory needs your child has). Other thing is that the therapist asked me if I or my husband had problems going to sleep. I do. I think about the whole day. WHat happened. Try to micro analyze everything. What I could have done in addition to what I did do, and then you end up with infinite scenarios. And then what you want to do tomorrow and next week. And then daydreaming about lots of things. Getting my brain to shut down is really hard. I know my daughter has the same problem. It takes me an hour to get to sleep. Uusally I stay up really late hoping that if I'm tired enough I might just collapse in bed instead of goign through the painful process of laying in bed staring at the ceiling.
So, anyways, uh, we are still having problems getting her to sleep. Sometimes we let her stay up later. At her age, we figure, she can sleep in. It's not like she has to go to school or daycare or anything. I'm not sure what to do when she hits school age. My parents let me stay up late. I remember watching the 11:00 news in elementary school. I was quite up on politics and current events in elementary school, I think my teachers were a bit baffled.
Oh, ways to get her to sleep. Music in the background. A soothing massage before bed, though if she figures out what we are trying to do (get her sleepy) she'll do stuff to rev herself up like jumping, head banging, etc. A therapist recently taught us different joint compression exercises to do on her, that you just press and you don't pump (the other exercises were revving her up too much). And there are some other techniques a physical therapist could show you, but I can't really explain because you have to do them accurately or they won't work or would do the reverse. Stuff like there's this thing where if you hold your hands with minimal pressure at their sides, you force them to deep breathe, which will relax you. But you have to have someone who knows what they are doign show you because you need the right amount of pressure and in the right place. You don't want to do it too hard because you could hurt them. Or in the wrong place because it would probably just annoy them. Anyways, the joint compression thing is also something a physical therapist could show you. And not all of them know of alternate techniques (our previous one seemed to think the joint compressions that had lots of pumping would calm our daughter down, when they revved her up... some kids have different responses to the same techniques, that if you have an OT try some things out and show you them, she/he could assess what sensory needs your child has). Other thing is that the therapist asked me if I or my husband had problems going to sleep. I do. I think about the whole day. WHat happened. Try to micro analyze everything. What I could have done in addition to what I did do, and then you end up with infinite scenarios. And then what you want to do tomorrow and next week. And then daydreaming about lots of things. Getting my brain to shut down is really hard. I know my daughter has the same problem. It takes me an hour to get to sleep. Uusally I stay up really late hoping that if I'm tired enough I might just collapse in bed instead of goign through the painful process of laying in bed staring at the ceiling.
So, anyways, uh, we are still having problems getting her to sleep. Sometimes we let her stay up later. At her age, we figure, she can sleep in. It's not like she has to go to school or daycare or anything. I'm not sure what to do when she hits school age. My parents let me stay up late. I remember watching the 11:00 news in elementary school. I was quite up on politics and current events in elementary school, I think my teachers were a bit baffled.
For sleep, I always put the blanket over me and I've always slept like that. Without the blanket over my head I feel exposed and for some reason my throat dries out too.
That may be another thing to try with your daughter. About the running away I remember a few times doing just a blind run nearly crashing into the door because I felt so overwhemed. I can still have that happen as an adult but I do choose not to dart out where there may be cars...I do have some choice where to run. The trigger for me seems to be arguement related. If someone is not backing down in an aruguement, then it's time for me to get up and leave before my anxiety gets up. If they follow me and persist, then I need to tell them to stop. If they don't stop, then I need to move away again. If they follow me, then I may just lose it and take off or deal with an emotional upset... The fight reflex goes towards screaming back, making loud noises, tantruming, and self injurous or abusive behavior. The flight reflex is likely the running away, darting out... All appear like very different behaviors, but they all are related to the same cause.
Usually for me these kinds of meltdowns almost always occur in the home setting oddly. I think its because dealing with strangers, I can just get up and leave calmly, like any other person, or talk to them politely and resolve the conflict or just brush them off. When dealing with close relatives or living with people, then I'm stuck with them and have different expectations... My grandma notices this too and it bothers her that I treat her different than strangers. I wish I could resolve that with myself too....
BTW, I'm almost always carrying something usually... going empty handed places makes me feel nakid... One thing I take commonly is my sketchbook with materials to sketch with. As a kid it would often be a bug I caught on the way. I still do catch male bumble bees and hold them ever so often. Males don't sting but they vibrate when they buzz. This creates a nice sensory experience for my fingers and hand. (which is debateable for other people but hey this is me I'm talking about.)
That may be another thing to try with your daughter. About the running away I remember a few times doing just a blind run nearly crashing into the door because I felt so overwhemed. I can still have that happen as an adult but I do choose not to dart out where there may be cars...I do have some choice where to run. The trigger for me seems to be arguement related. If someone is not backing down in an aruguement, then it's time for me to get up and leave before my anxiety gets up. If they follow me and persist, then I need to tell them to stop. If they don't stop, then I need to move away again. If they follow me, then I may just lose it and take off or deal with an emotional upset... The fight reflex goes towards screaming back, making loud noises, tantruming, and self injurous or abusive behavior. The flight reflex is likely the running away, darting out... All appear like very different behaviors, but they all are related to the same cause.
Usually for me these kinds of meltdowns almost always occur in the home setting oddly. I think its because dealing with strangers, I can just get up and leave calmly, like any other person, or talk to them politely and resolve the conflict or just brush them off. When dealing with close relatives or living with people, then I'm stuck with them and have different expectations... My grandma notices this too and it bothers her that I treat her different than strangers. I wish I could resolve that with myself too....
BTW, I'm almost always carrying something usually... going empty handed places makes me feel nakid... One thing I take commonly is my sketchbook with materials to sketch with. As a kid it would often be a bug I caught on the way. I still do catch male bumble bees and hold them ever so often. Males don't sting but they vibrate when they buzz. This creates a nice sensory experience for my fingers and hand. (which is debateable for other people but hey this is me I'm talking about.)
As she is only three, these are all things that should get better as she gets older. My son (who is 7.5 years) rarely sleeps alone in his bed. He always has to have the light on. Tucking him in tight with a blanket helps and I have to leave the light on. But if he wakes up at night he will come into our bed. Infact, most nights the kids sleep with their dad and I'm in the childrens' room! Is she likes the enclosed feeling, and the crib is really getting way too small you can buy a kind of tent canopy to go over some beds which she may like. Just go with what works and allows you to get some sleep.
When you are out and about, I agree with what MJ has said. Try to think about anything that could be causing the behaviours so that you can reduce any anxiety etc if that is what it is. You could also use Social Stories or symbol pictures to show her how she should behave when out with you ie. pictures of her walking next to you. Is your daughter verbal and does she understand when you talk to her? If so use the symbols and social stories to start telling her what she should do when out with you. My son is not a runner he is a hider. So he suddenly disappears and you start looking for him and shouting his name and he doesn't respond. He likes to hide in small tight places, usually in places like the library, shops etc. He is growing out of it now, I never used a harness but seriously considered it. For safety reasons, if she is a runner, I would keep with the harness. I agree with what MJ says about holding her thought, my son also did not like his hand being held when younger.
From a sensory point of view she might get totally overwhelmed and excited when out in the open. Things you could experiement with to see if there is any difference are DIY eardefenders to block out noise, sunglasses for problems with sunlight and people looking at her, and also something to hold ie. a small cuddly toy or something to fidgit with, peaked cap to cover her head. I have heard that sometimes a backpack weighted with something heavy can help. Just around a couple of pounds of weight can help the child have a better sense of 'feeling' where their own body is.
If you think she has alot of sensory issues I would recommend you google the name Olga Bogdashina and read an article by her printed in autism today. She has a very good book called Sensory and Perceptual Differences in Autism and Aspergers. This book also contains a sensory profile questionnaire which you can complete to give you an idea of which senses are affected with your child. With my son all his senses are hyper, although they can fluctuate to hypo as well. His auditory and tactile senses are most affected so he has problems with noise, understanding verbal instructions, some soft touch hurts him yet he can hurt himself and feel nothing. Every child will have a different profile which will be reflected in their behaviours ie. a child that is forever seeking all kinds of movement may have problems with their vestibular and proprioceptive senses. If that is the case then an Occupational Therapist who has experience of working with children on the spectrum and of Sensory Integration Difficulties should be able to give you advice to improve those senses and the communication/feedback between the senses.
When you are out and about, I agree with what MJ has said. Try to think about anything that could be causing the behaviours so that you can reduce any anxiety etc if that is what it is. You could also use Social Stories or symbol pictures to show her how she should behave when out with you ie. pictures of her walking next to you. Is your daughter verbal and does she understand when you talk to her? If so use the symbols and social stories to start telling her what she should do when out with you. My son is not a runner he is a hider. So he suddenly disappears and you start looking for him and shouting his name and he doesn't respond. He likes to hide in small tight places, usually in places like the library, shops etc. He is growing out of it now, I never used a harness but seriously considered it. For safety reasons, if she is a runner, I would keep with the harness. I agree with what MJ says about holding her thought, my son also did not like his hand being held when younger.
From a sensory point of view she might get totally overwhelmed and excited when out in the open. Things you could experiement with to see if there is any difference are DIY eardefenders to block out noise, sunglasses for problems with sunlight and people looking at her, and also something to hold ie. a small cuddly toy or something to fidgit with, peaked cap to cover her head. I have heard that sometimes a backpack weighted with something heavy can help. Just around a couple of pounds of weight can help the child have a better sense of 'feeling' where their own body is.
If you think she has alot of sensory issues I would recommend you google the name Olga Bogdashina and read an article by her printed in autism today. She has a very good book called Sensory and Perceptual Differences in Autism and Aspergers. This book also contains a sensory profile questionnaire which you can complete to give you an idea of which senses are affected with your child. With my son all his senses are hyper, although they can fluctuate to hypo as well. His auditory and tactile senses are most affected so he has problems with noise, understanding verbal instructions, some soft touch hurts him yet he can hurt himself and feel nothing. Every child will have a different profile which will be reflected in their behaviours ie. a child that is forever seeking all kinds of movement may have problems with their vestibular and proprioceptive senses. If that is the case then an Occupational Therapist who has experience of working with children on the spectrum and of Sensory Integration Difficulties should be able to give you advice to improve those senses and the communication/feedback between the senses.
I don't think there's any set formula for what beds work and what don't. I think it comes down to individual preference, but some key things may stand out.
One is being in a tight space. You note the play pen is too small... I used to remember feeling at ease crunching up in tight spots... One was a cage like cubby hole for a young Sunday school group. It was sort of like a hideaway/crib like thing and I remember it as the set up having the "cages" stacked up... I liked to crawl in one and crunch up. Being in the same place as an adult it doesn't look exactly as I remember it... It looks more like a play area with a blanket sort of draped over one of the areas. When I was bored and waiting with one of my grandma's friends, we both went on the play area and sort of talked for a while. I didn't crunch up though, just sort of sat there.
Another area I liked to crunch up as a child was the coffee table. Eventually it broke if I remember... I used to like pushing the glass part up. I don't remember how it broke exactly. I don't think I was inside... The new coffee table after that had a cabinet like thing I'd crunch into.
There were other places... If it was sort of enclosed and I could make a cave like thing out of it, then I found it calming. I also liked huge boxes...
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Darkness though, I do NOT like... I don't sleep well in the dark. You're lucky I guess if your 3 year old can sleep in the dark. For me I need to have one light on so I can sleep without seeing flashes of light as I'm drifting off to sleep...
Btw, crunching up in tight spaces seems to be something I've long outgrown... You likely won't see me, a 25 year old trying to squeeze under a coffee table. Those days are long over. ;)
Here's something that may interest you:
http://www.grandin.com/inc/squeeze.html
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As far as the running away issue goes, that I don't know exactly. I need more clues. Is your daughter distressed when she is running or excited? If she is distressed, then likely she's having a meltdown/anxiety attack... Try to cope with it by finding out what is stressing her out and work on that. Trying to snag her back may save her that one time, but won’t be any more help than that without figuring out what is causing her meltdown.
With my parents, I did NOT like being held onto... The more they tried to squeeze my arm, the more I struggled to get free... Once I got free, I'd be off... Eventually at some point when I was old enough to express this, we worked something out, they don't hold my arm if I don't run off. It sort of worked I think. Before then I could tolerate my hand being held but not my arm... So if they held my hand I don't recall struggling as much.
If it's excitement, that's a different issue... I'd wander off if something caught my interest. If I recall right this is different than running off. I'm calmer and, usually just walk off rather than a straight panicked run... As an adult I still have a tendency to wander to what catches my fancy, but I know to watch out for cars and other people. I respect the safety rules if I can. It's only when I'm in high anxiety where it becomes a bit more difficult... loud traffic and bad mufflers/motor cycles tend to "spook" me to a varying degree...
This spook reflux is something I have to watch out for and do my best not to let my instincts take the better of me... The instinct to get away from a predator or major stressor seems to be either stand up and fight or take off and run.... If it's loud noise, ear protection may help. See if you can get headphones that block out sound or ear plugs.
One is being in a tight space. You note the play pen is too small... I used to remember feeling at ease crunching up in tight spots... One was a cage like cubby hole for a young Sunday school group. It was sort of like a hideaway/crib like thing and I remember it as the set up having the "cages" stacked up... I liked to crawl in one and crunch up. Being in the same place as an adult it doesn't look exactly as I remember it... It looks more like a play area with a blanket sort of draped over one of the areas. When I was bored and waiting with one of my grandma's friends, we both went on the play area and sort of talked for a while. I didn't crunch up though, just sort of sat there.
Another area I liked to crunch up as a child was the coffee table. Eventually it broke if I remember... I used to like pushing the glass part up. I don't remember how it broke exactly. I don't think I was inside... The new coffee table after that had a cabinet like thing I'd crunch into.
There were other places... If it was sort of enclosed and I could make a cave like thing out of it, then I found it calming. I also liked huge boxes...
------------------
Darkness though, I do NOT like... I don't sleep well in the dark. You're lucky I guess if your 3 year old can sleep in the dark. For me I need to have one light on so I can sleep without seeing flashes of light as I'm drifting off to sleep...
Btw, crunching up in tight spaces seems to be something I've long outgrown... You likely won't see me, a 25 year old trying to squeeze under a coffee table. Those days are long over. ;)
Here's something that may interest you:
http://www.grandin.com/inc/squeeze.html
---------------------------
As far as the running away issue goes, that I don't know exactly. I need more clues. Is your daughter distressed when she is running or excited? If she is distressed, then likely she's having a meltdown/anxiety attack... Try to cope with it by finding out what is stressing her out and work on that. Trying to snag her back may save her that one time, but won’t be any more help than that without figuring out what is causing her meltdown.
With my parents, I did NOT like being held onto... The more they tried to squeeze my arm, the more I struggled to get free... Once I got free, I'd be off... Eventually at some point when I was old enough to express this, we worked something out, they don't hold my arm if I don't run off. It sort of worked I think. Before then I could tolerate my hand being held but not my arm... So if they held my hand I don't recall struggling as much.
If it's excitement, that's a different issue... I'd wander off if something caught my interest. If I recall right this is different than running off. I'm calmer and, usually just walk off rather than a straight panicked run... As an adult I still have a tendency to wander to what catches my fancy, but I know to watch out for cars and other people. I respect the safety rules if I can. It's only when I'm in high anxiety where it becomes a bit more difficult... loud traffic and bad mufflers/motor cycles tend to "spook" me to a varying degree...
This spook reflux is something I have to watch out for and do my best not to let my instincts take the better of me... The instinct to get away from a predator or major stressor seems to be either stand up and fight or take off and run.... If it's loud noise, ear protection may help. See if you can get headphones that block out sound or ear plugs.
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