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12 yr old Autistic Son in Puberty

Our son is going through puberty and we have a "Urgent" IEP meeting to attend at his school to address his exposing himself / "playing with himself".  I'm afraid the 1st thing out of the teacher / school's mouth will be to push medication and or suggest decreasing his hours at school.  Any suggestions on how to handle this?
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Avatar universal
Mark,
We had the same kind of situation with our son. I really like luv315's approach. Our son's teacher created a social story for him about his body and its changes. When he put hi hands in his pants or attempted to pull them down, even a little, they simply directed him to the restroom and gave him time to himself. While this freaked me out a little (no one want to think of their son . . . well. . . you know.) at least they tried to work with what was happening to him and help him understand. Even though they seemed to want to bring it up all the time (like you need to tell me more than once) I like the approach they took. Have faith in your son's teacher until he or she gives you a reason not to. In my experience most people who teach our kids are special people and are hard to replace. Good luck.
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367831 tn?1284258944
Not all teachers and schools, but SOME certainly PROMOTE medications.  Last I checked, TV networks and drug companies don't dispeense medications, neither, but look at all ads put out by drug companies placed on network TV.  Many factors contribute to a drug-culture.

I won't go as far as saying the schools are responsible for over-medication, any more than network television is not responsible for increase in violent crime (nor bird flu).  

It's just that IF medications are brought up at the IEP, it should be off the table if they aren't qualified to make that call.  That discussion doesn't belong in an IEP, I think you would agree to that.  

As we have moved form school district to school district, state to state, we find that some are better than others.

Personal story:  
When my daughter was in first grade, we moved to another state.  Her most recent m-team from our former state indicated she was okay and not needing EEN services. Prior to that, the previous m-team had hee as  "autistic like."   Based on the most recent reports,  we thought she can be mainstreamed.  So as we moved, we had her in a mainstream first grade classroom.

She didn't do well in that placement.  The school administrators and special ed case manager sugested she had ADD or ADHD (one or the other, I can't remenber now) and that we see a certain doctor who perscribed Ritalin.  We didn't know the doctor but he was recomended.  

Ritalin is a stimulant and to those without ADD/ADHD, it acts as such, a stimulant.    She was wired all day.  It got to the point, the school wouldn't give her the second dose of the day.   This was when we had her re-evaluated as PDD-nos.   For a long time, we kept that bottle of Ritalin as a constant reminder to us to NEVER NEVER let a school district dictate anything that goes counter to our intuitions.

Another personal story:
My daughter provides her story on this forum on how the teachers kept her out of the insect unit in science class and asked us us erase her "Maya the Bee" videos.  They thought her insect perseveration was not good for her.  Nowadays "Maya the Bee" is no more.  Not in re-runs, video stores nowhere.  She still grieves over this.  Nowadays she sugests that school faculty and parents can use an AC's perseverations and interests as a re-inforcement tool.



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Avatar universal
Concluding thought- Last time I checked, schools were not the ones that prescribe and dispense medications to children.   Qualified medical professionals, not teachers, are the only people who can do this.  How is that schools are responsible for the over-medication of children with special needs?  What's next, blaming teachers for bird flu outbreak in Asia?  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Perhaps you should go to the IEP meeting and hear the teacher out, before you jump to conclusions.  The teacher likely has your son's best interest at heart, just as you do.  From my experience, it it NOT that schools and teachers don't want to take the time to teach appropriate behavior.  The fact is there is NOT enough hours in the day and not enough of the teacher and/or para-professionals to go around!  Perhaps a better approach to the meeting would be, how can we ALL work together to help this young man?  I bet the teacher would appreciate any possible solutions or insight into the behavior you, as the parent, could bring to the table?  Here's a thought- perhaps the urgent IEP meeting was to pull a BIP together (since this was likely posted after the fact)?  MOST teachers, especially sped teachers, are not as shallow and short-sighted as they are made out to be in the posts above!   GOOD LUCK!
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222135 tn?1236488221
Did you have the IEP meeting yet? If so how did it go? The advice given above is good advice. While your child is in school, it is THEIR job to help your son learn appropriate social behavior in a positive way. It is perfectly natural for a child that age to engage in that behavior - he just needs to learn that there is a time and a place.

Medication is overused because schools don't want to take the time to do what they are paid to do. I have worked with children and adults with special needs for over 20 years. I have learned over the years that many schools count on parents being unfamiliar with their rights. Become a student of your child's legal rights and FIGHT for them. Get and educational advocate. There should be free advocacy through larger agencies. Contact your county's department of human services. Does your son have a supports coordinator?  They can help. I may be able to find help in your state through my own work contacts. Let me know

Penn
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Avatar universal
Hi Mark.... Have you gone to the Urgent IEP meeting yet????  I really encourage you to take a Deep breath and try to remain Calm in the meeting....  YOU are also an IEP Team Member..... And a VIP Member. You are the PARENT!
Remember that IDEA Laws require the school to give your child an education. FAPE. In the Least Restrictive Enviornment.  It also requires them to create Positive Behavioral Intervention Plans.....  They are positive ways to help kids Learn Positive behavior.  It is NOT PUNISHMENT.

Try to behave as professional as they must.  Look at a way of helping this behavior plan become part of the IEP and make Goals in the IEP that provide opportunities for your son to learn the correct way he needs to address behavior.  DO NOT be ashamed that your son is behaving this way..... he is in Puberty.... (You had Sexual Behavior to bring him into the world)  Sexuality is a part of human life.  He just needs to learn more appropriate ways or places in which this behavior is acceptable and where it is not.
Try to approach this behavior as any other challenge.... and respect the dignity of your son.... and expect that the school will respect his dignity as well.   I have also dealt with
this issue.... I find that the more stress we have the more the child finds to do it more.
Please let us know what happens..... I'm checking in on this on the forum.  gracem
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367831 tn?1284258944
AWESOME!!  Starting with a Functional Behavioral Assessment gives a good platform from which to plan an IEP instead of shooting blind.

As you post:
"Anyway.... it will require the school to collect data for several days or weeks.... then you all come back to the IEP and look at the Data "

This makes a LOT of sense!!  They need to first put the horse before the cart.
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Avatar universal
Maybe you need to ask the school to do an FBA  Functional Behavioral Assessment.   This will identify the Behavior they are assessing..... such as Playing with himself or exposing himself...... They will then assess when your son engages in this behavior.....  what is going on before.....   this is called an Andecedent......  it looks at the enviornment that is happening before the behavior..... time to go to the Gym??? To the Library???  Is it happening when he must make a transition....  could there be stress..Could it be a new kind of siezure? (This would be what I would ask in MY GUYS CASE)..?
Does it happen the same time of day?  The same situations?  then the behavior  where does it happen?  Could he be taught to go to a private place?   Then What is the Function or reason for the behavior?  Is it his way of relieving stress????   Anyway.... it will require the school to collect data for several days or weeks.... then you all come back to the IEP and look at the Data and try to understand WHY he is behaving in this manner..... and HOW can the school change maybe some of the andecedents so that the behaviors may lessen...... at that Point ALL of YOU can develop a POSITIVE Behavior Intervention Plan.... this then becomes part of the IEP.... and if the plan does not work then you need to continue to hypothisis about then next way to POSITIVELY create a New Plan.   And if this behavior may be taught to be done in more appropriate place such as a private bathroom....    Sexual behavior is human... but may be your son needs to LEARN where this behavior is allowable  and where it is not.   Social stories may help.....   POSITIVE BEHAVIORAL INTERVENTION PLANS are POSITIVE ways to teach appropriate behavior.....   again You need to point to this as TEACHING or maybe an IEP Goal....   (Son's Name) will learn where to engage and where it is inappropriate to have clothes on or take off.    IE The bathroom....  touch private areas in bath or toilet or alone in bedroom.    We do not do this in these areas...... and so on.

A Functional Behavioral Assessment would be a great place to start.   Again do not worry about Drugs..... Schools do not have the MD ..... But you may want to look at the data that the school collects and bring the information to your doctor.... Especially if your son has had a history of siezures such as my 12 year old son....   His siezures have seemed to have gone away.... but now I have just learned that they are taking on a less obvious form and may be the reason for his emerging anxiety behavior, or his aggressive behavior....   I am hoping that the new siezure drugs will not only help with his siezures but also with his behavior issues..... including speech and language....  I have recently read and learned that many children with autism have left frontal temporal lobe siezure activity .... and the more I read.... the more behaviors I find that are matching up.   Good Luck..... I've been fighting the same fight!   Gracem
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Avatar universal
i agree with the comments posted above. i was about to have a fit when i read your post and suggest the medical credentials, and remind them of the idea laws. do not let them scare you about any of this your son has a right to an education in the least restrictive enviroment. here in arizona there are organizatrions that can go with you to these iep meetings and help represent you and your son, please call your sons doctor and ask about this, here it is called pilot parents of arizona, i have worked with them for years. if u feel that it is right not to have ur son medicated, as i feel it is right not to medicate my own son please stand up for your beliefs, as this is your son, not theirs, and you know what is best for your son you have had him and loved him all these years. my son is three, and like mjdad said, you are the boss at these meetings not the teacher, or the school, so do not let them bully you into something that u know is not right
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367831 tn?1284258944
They should offer altenative placement.  Maybe they have some strategies  like social stories   There's gotta be something better !!
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367831 tn?1284258944
If they EVEN THINK of decreasing his hours at school alternative placement.  YOU WILL take them thru  DUE PROCESS!!   The state  requires so many days at school and he he doesn't get these days/hours.  THEY WILL  VIOLATE FEDERAL IDEA LAW  !!

Sugest alternative placement.  IF THEY EVEN TALK MEDs, YOU WILL ASK FOR THEIR MEDICAL CREDENTIALS!!!  If they are teachers and education professionals, THEY CAN'T TALK MEDS!!

If no medical credentials are offered (even if they are)  you need a re-evaluation and another M-Team evaluation with a MEDICAL DOCTOR.

First,  if they are not qualifieds to talk meds, that's offthe table.  Second, if they decrease school hours they will violate federal IDEA law.  You need to say he has the right to a Free and Appropriate Public Education  (FAPE)  in the Least Restrictive Environmenrt (LRE).  So if they intend to violate federal law,  just hope for their sake they don't drop the soap in the federal pen!
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