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2 1/2yr old not talking,very independent
My 2 1/2 yr. old grandson doesn't talk yet. He says few words but they are hard to understand unless you know what he means. He has eye contact, very happy and affectionate. Responds to his name when he wants to, can sit and watch a 2 hour kiddie movie. He won't let his mother read a book to him tho he will look at books when he wants by himself. you can show him what to do with something and he will do it. We think he is very smart but seems to do only what he wants, unless his Father says "no" and he listens to him..........He has a speech therapist 3x a week but it hasn't done any good because my grandson ignores him. He has had ear testing and other tests but no one has come to a definite decision. The child knows what he wants, takes your hand and leads you to it. He has a leg fetish which I don't know where that comes from. He will pull up the bottom of your slacks and hang off your leg like it was a pony....anyone with answers? thanks.
Oh, another comment I'd make is that if speech is the only thing he has issues with... and doesn't show other signs of autism... there's a group of parents of late talkers whose kids don't have autism. Dr. Thomas Sowell started researching (he was a late talker and so was his son and neither of them have autism though they were thought to have when they were really young). He has a few books out including "The Einstein Syndrome: Bright Children Who Talk Late" and "Late Talking Children". He did a lot of research and studies that followed families with late talking children. Some of these children did not talk until 4 or 5 but by the time they were older they had no problems with speech or any other issues. Many of them went into math/science/engineering or music.
My daughter didn't say much until she was 2 1/2. What helped a lot were the therapy sessions but also watching educational videos. Baby Babble was a good video. You could google it. Another series was the Baby Bumblebee. She also loved the Baby Wordsworth from Baby Einstein (they did sign language). There were so many videos with the name baby in them for the longest time she thought baby meant a DVD or video.
Our daughter has other issues besides speech though, hence a diagnosis of PDD. She is social, but has some social differences (doesn't understand social cueing or other things like that). She also has a ton of sensory issues (over or under sensitivities to touch, hearing, visual, tactile, etc.). And she has a lot of OCD-like or "ritualistic" behavior. She also has in the past had repetitive behaviors (still does but only when really upset). I don't know what other issues you are dealing with with your grandson other than the speech and the leg fettish.
My daughter didn't say much until she was 2 1/2. What helped a lot were the therapy sessions but also watching educational videos. Baby Babble was a good video. You could google it. Another series was the Baby Bumblebee. She also loved the Baby Wordsworth from Baby Einstein (they did sign language). There were so many videos with the name baby in them for the longest time she thought baby meant a DVD or video.
Our daughter has other issues besides speech though, hence a diagnosis of PDD. She is social, but has some social differences (doesn't understand social cueing or other things like that). She also has a ton of sensory issues (over or under sensitivities to touch, hearing, visual, tactile, etc.). And she has a lot of OCD-like or "ritualistic" behavior. She also has in the past had repetitive behaviors (still does but only when really upset). I don't know what other issues you are dealing with with your grandson other than the speech and the leg fettish.
My daughter didn't start progressing with her speech until she had an occupational therapist who did sensory integration therapy. Language processing can be a sensory issue. You could ask (or have your son/daughter ask) the speech therapist about an OT or just even if he/she knows someone who does sensory integration therapy. Techniques where we saw immediate improvement were using a brushing technique and a joint compression. My daughter dragged us around by the hand all the time. If you can't talk, it's a great way to communicate.
She's now 3 1/2 and talking a lot. We had to fight to have OT for her in her developmental preschool. They thought she'd just need a speech therapist. The speech therapist has commented that our daughter is immensely better with speech after she's had OT. So now they do the OT right before speech and that's what she needs.
You don't have to have autism to have sensory processing disorder. But, it still needs therapy. Sounds like you are at least on the right track with speech 3 times per week. Just find out if he can get other types of therapy. Like the OT. Especially if you've seen no improvements.
She's now 3 1/2 and talking a lot. We had to fight to have OT for her in her developmental preschool. They thought she'd just need a speech therapist. The speech therapist has commented that our daughter is immensely better with speech after she's had OT. So now they do the OT right before speech and that's what she needs.
You don't have to have autism to have sensory processing disorder. But, it still needs therapy. Sounds like you are at least on the right track with speech 3 times per week. Just find out if he can get other types of therapy. Like the OT. Especially if you've seen no improvements.
We also play a game with him daily. When we're playing with him we name everything. The car is going up the ramp. Oh you're blue car is fast! We are like the announcer at a sports game recapping plays for the people listening on tv or the radio. Again we don't ask questions. Play is play. It's not school. He has to learn to play and the words that go with his play before we can teach him or question him. We make silly noises and narrate. We started out at 20 minutes a day when we introduced this method into his routine. Now we are up over an hour a day (split into small sessions of play--10 minutes or more at a time)! He now looks at us when he says what and we explain. He is understanding that we will explain his environment, but allow him to explore too. It's made it a lot easier for me to give him certain commands instead of relying on his father. He now knows I am fun too and not just the boss. I make sure I don't ask things of him that aren't age appropriate too. When I have to tell him to do something, I make sure he's capable of doing it.
Little steps, but they are making a world of difference. Language delays are very hard to work with. Especially when you see other children rambling sentences at the same age. But I always tell my husband, "we have the most polite 2 year old, he can say please and can sign thank you." This is without prompting now. Using this method really worked. Once he understood we weren't taking away his independence but giving him more--he worked with us. All we did was change the focus of the way we word things to him to show him he still has a say. So yeah we may only give him the choice to go with us or sit in time in, it's still a decision he can make. Sit or go. If you use this method you may have to tweak it to suit your grandson better, but I can leave him with his grandparents now and they use this method because they see how well it works and without much effort. They aren't having to use force and they can enjoy every minute they spend with him because there is no yelling or tantruming.
--Keep up the efforts you've made so far. There are no quick fixes to getting him to talk. He will talk in his own time, but maybe try alternate methods of communication, sign language or use pictures (real ones from a camera) to facilitate some communication. Again with the picture method though--2 choices. Our aide says no more choices than the child is in age--as long as it doesn't seem overwhelming. Sometimes 3 year olds can't decide between 3 items and still need only 2 choices. So if it takes your child more than 5 seconds to choose, they may be a bit overwhelmed.
You guys are doing the right thing. Know that. Having aides for help with language is great. It's a wonderful start. Keep with it. It's hard work, but it's worth it.
-K
Little steps, but they are making a world of difference. Language delays are very hard to work with. Especially when you see other children rambling sentences at the same age. But I always tell my husband, "we have the most polite 2 year old, he can say please and can sign thank you." This is without prompting now. Using this method really worked. Once he understood we weren't taking away his independence but giving him more--he worked with us. All we did was change the focus of the way we word things to him to show him he still has a say. So yeah we may only give him the choice to go with us or sit in time in, it's still a decision he can make. Sit or go. If you use this method you may have to tweak it to suit your grandson better, but I can leave him with his grandparents now and they use this method because they see how well it works and without much effort. They aren't having to use force and they can enjoy every minute they spend with him because there is no yelling or tantruming.
--Keep up the efforts you've made so far. There are no quick fixes to getting him to talk. He will talk in his own time, but maybe try alternate methods of communication, sign language or use pictures (real ones from a camera) to facilitate some communication. Again with the picture method though--2 choices. Our aide says no more choices than the child is in age--as long as it doesn't seem overwhelming. Sometimes 3 year olds can't decide between 3 items and still need only 2 choices. So if it takes your child more than 5 seconds to choose, they may be a bit overwhelmed.
You guys are doing the right thing. Know that. Having aides for help with language is great. It's a wonderful start. Keep with it. It's hard work, but it's worth it.
-K
My son seems to be the same way and about the same age. He has been diagnosed on the spectrum, but nothing more than "Autism". We're quite sure he's brilliant. He's always been violently independent and wicked smart. We can show him something once and he has it. We could never have shown him something and he knows how to do it. He also has times where he has long periods of concentration watching something or looking through his endless amounts of books. He loves to cuddle and give hugs. He does have certain sensory issues. Textures of certain foods (chicken, pork...certain cooked veggies), and cloth textures sometimes freak him out. We aren't sure right now what to think. He has help 4 days a week. 2 group days and 2 days where aides come to the house. He loves the group and still doesn't interact so much, but he does know what is going on. He enjoys the routine now and we have very little trouble with tantruming during group. At the house he has taken to one aide, but could care less about the other two. This week he started showing interest in one of the two he usually ignores. So maybe we're making progress, but he still doesn't like to talk. We have 7 words now...it's still a far cry from 11 months ago when he had almost 30 words. He has yet to say the words he once had. The 7 he has now are totally new and random. Who, What, Hi, Bye, Go (meaning No), More, Please. These are the words we work with daily. The last two we finally got him to say after 8 months of working with sign language and words. It was a huge hurdle, but I think he'll do it.
I don't know if your grandson is just like my son, but mechanically speaking they both seem to want to figure out their world. Which could be why there is a delay in the speech, or maybe not. I think what you are doing is right. Even if your son isn't interacting with the aides--well he knows they are there. He might just be observing them in his own way...understanding them first before he'll be ok with interacting on some level with them. Just make sure you are trying to put names with things, and don't ask questions. This has helped A LOT with our son. Instead of asking him to do something, we tell him--get the ball, it's time to eat, we're leaving now, it's time to go to the store. If he puts up a fight then we sit him in a spot (we have a designated area in our house, car, grandparent's house...etc) and explain to him that this is what we are doing, since he doesn't want to do 'x' then he has to sit in this spot until he chooses to participate. He's not sat in that spot longer than 2 minutes since we instated this method! :) It has worked wonders. He'd rather hold our hand and walk nicely to the car than sit down and not do anything. Giving him only 2 options has really helped to. By no longer asking questions, but using statements he's really come into his own. He's not confused. If we ask a question he has the option to say no to all the possibilities. By stating something like "It's time to go to the store" he has the option to go nicely or to sit and do nothing until he wants to go. I was a doubter at first, I really didn't think he'd go along with it and be much happier sitting doing nothing, but he understood that there was no wiggle room---either he sits and does nothing or he gets to go somewhere. This method helps with things he doesn't want to do either. He doesn't like the doctors, but he'll do much better if we schedule some park time afterward. So we make sure to kneel down to his level whenever we explain something to him---he doesn't have to look at us, but we must be down at his eye level. Sometimes we tell him we do 'x' first and then 'y'. Or sometimes we tell him we're doing 'x'. But he knows the consequence. It's all about being consistent with whatever method you choose. He's also been able to feel more comfortable trying new things with this method. You might want to give it a shot. Our aide calls it the 'Time In' Method. You aren't telling them they are being bad or misbehaving. It's ok to cry, it's ok to have emotions, but in life sometimes we don't have choices to always have fun. It's a good life lesson that is simple if you really stick to the method. My friend now uses it with her 4 year old daughter (not Autistic) and she has seen such an improvement in the month she's been using it! Questions seem to put children without speech back into their head. So by eliminating that from the equation you're left with them having to choose between this or that...which is a question itself, but one they understand how to answer or deal with. By saying where did the ball go or what color is this when they have no language doesn't make them confident. It makes them stop playing and start thinking, but not having a means to tell you the answer. That's not good.
Just remember that you aren't taking away the child's ability to tantrum or cry, you are just telling them that if they do that there is a spot for that behavior. So it's one warning and then you place them in the spot if the unwanted behavior is still occuring. It may take a week or two to see huge improvement, but you'll notice a big change. We use a phrase to help with this, "I can see you don't want to 'x' so you are choosing to sit here." We follow that up with, "when you're ready we'll go do 'x'." We don't hold him while he's sitting in his spot, but we are near him. When he makes the decision to get out of his spot, then we say in a very upbeat manner "I'm so glad you've decide to do 'x'. I like your decision." We do change it up so it doesn't seem fake, but we praise him for making the decision to join us. It does make us late sometimes, but I think the long term outcome is much more important. What is 5 or 10 minutes when your child has made a decision to do something on their own merit without you forcing them to do it in a negative way. It's decision making 101 for toddlers.
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I don't know if your grandson is just like my son, but mechanically speaking they both seem to want to figure out their world. Which could be why there is a delay in the speech, or maybe not. I think what you are doing is right. Even if your son isn't interacting with the aides--well he knows they are there. He might just be observing them in his own way...understanding them first before he'll be ok with interacting on some level with them. Just make sure you are trying to put names with things, and don't ask questions. This has helped A LOT with our son. Instead of asking him to do something, we tell him--get the ball, it's time to eat, we're leaving now, it's time to go to the store. If he puts up a fight then we sit him in a spot (we have a designated area in our house, car, grandparent's house...etc) and explain to him that this is what we are doing, since he doesn't want to do 'x' then he has to sit in this spot until he chooses to participate. He's not sat in that spot longer than 2 minutes since we instated this method! :) It has worked wonders. He'd rather hold our hand and walk nicely to the car than sit down and not do anything. Giving him only 2 options has really helped to. By no longer asking questions, but using statements he's really come into his own. He's not confused. If we ask a question he has the option to say no to all the possibilities. By stating something like "It's time to go to the store" he has the option to go nicely or to sit and do nothing until he wants to go. I was a doubter at first, I really didn't think he'd go along with it and be much happier sitting doing nothing, but he understood that there was no wiggle room---either he sits and does nothing or he gets to go somewhere. This method helps with things he doesn't want to do either. He doesn't like the doctors, but he'll do much better if we schedule some park time afterward. So we make sure to kneel down to his level whenever we explain something to him---he doesn't have to look at us, but we must be down at his eye level. Sometimes we tell him we do 'x' first and then 'y'. Or sometimes we tell him we're doing 'x'. But he knows the consequence. It's all about being consistent with whatever method you choose. He's also been able to feel more comfortable trying new things with this method. You might want to give it a shot. Our aide calls it the 'Time In' Method. You aren't telling them they are being bad or misbehaving. It's ok to cry, it's ok to have emotions, but in life sometimes we don't have choices to always have fun. It's a good life lesson that is simple if you really stick to the method. My friend now uses it with her 4 year old daughter (not Autistic) and she has seen such an improvement in the month she's been using it! Questions seem to put children without speech back into their head. So by eliminating that from the equation you're left with them having to choose between this or that...which is a question itself, but one they understand how to answer or deal with. By saying where did the ball go or what color is this when they have no language doesn't make them confident. It makes them stop playing and start thinking, but not having a means to tell you the answer. That's not good.
Just remember that you aren't taking away the child's ability to tantrum or cry, you are just telling them that if they do that there is a spot for that behavior. So it's one warning and then you place them in the spot if the unwanted behavior is still occuring. It may take a week or two to see huge improvement, but you'll notice a big change. We use a phrase to help with this, "I can see you don't want to 'x' so you are choosing to sit here." We follow that up with, "when you're ready we'll go do 'x'." We don't hold him while he's sitting in his spot, but we are near him. When he makes the decision to get out of his spot, then we say in a very upbeat manner "I'm so glad you've decide to do 'x'. I like your decision." We do change it up so it doesn't seem fake, but we praise him for making the decision to join us. It does make us late sometimes, but I think the long term outcome is much more important. What is 5 or 10 minutes when your child has made a decision to do something on their own merit without you forcing them to do it in a negative way. It's decision making 101 for toddlers.
...
By his age he should have more speech.
Does he repeat what is said to him or things he has heard on TV or films?
My son was diagnosed as being on the spectrum when he was around 5.5 years old. But at 2+ he was quite similar to your grandson. He appeared very strong willed and only wanted to do what he wanted to do. This caused him alot of difficulties in nursery and school because he wouldn't comply. Those on the spectrum don't tend to see themselves as part of group instructions. So even now (my son is 8) the teacher will give out a general classroom instruction and then the assistants will give it personally to any of the children who are on the spectrum.
They also don't have an interest in joining in or trying to please parents/teachers/peers etc. So they appear as very independent loners. For example my son used to find it hard to ask for help. He didn't appear to know how to do it. So he would attempt to do everything himself. Sometimes he could manage, other times he couldn't. Then he learnt to ask for help at home, but wouldn't ask for help at school.
If your son appears deaf sometimes ie. you call his name and he doesn't respond. Then this is usually down to Sensory Integration Disorder or Central Auditory Processing Disorder or a combination of the two. Children who are on the spectrum can get so engrossed in what they are doing that they become totally unaware of their environment or the people in it. I also have CAPD problems and frequently screen out all noise which means I appear deaf to the extent that my husband has to repeatedly shout my name or touch me on the shoulder to make my ears start listening again!
As the Speech Therapist is not having much success I would suggest you get one that has experience of children on the autistic spectrum. The way to get their attention is through their interests therefore they have to deliver their programme through their interests. If a child is interested in Thomas the Tank Engine you have to use that in your Speech and Language programme. You are wasting your time if you think that child will stop playing with Thomas to engage in a formal speech and language session. And the child is necessarily being awkward. They literally cannot keep their attention on things of no interest to them, if they are forced to do so they usually either throw a tantrum or begin to think about something that interests them. In my sons case he will start to watch a DVD in his head. He can literally re-run anything he has seen on TV. He is like a human video recorder.
From your post, as well as language delays he also does not appear to be using language to chat. He only uses language to get his needs met or he takes you there by hand. This shows a social communication problem.
If he does repeat words or phrases from people or TV this is called echolalia - google it to see what it is.
If he has difficulties following instructions or planning and sequencing things then google Executive Function Disorder as this usually accompanies autistic spectrum disorders in some form.
Can he play with other children? Is he interested in his peers or does he object to them being there, or ignore them, or play alongside them but not join in with them?
What is he like with change? Can you move him from one toy to another one, or turn off the TV, or leave the house?
Does he have sensory issues. What is he like having his hair brushed, washed, cut - or nails cut - or shoes and socks put on. Does he appear deaf - or cover his ears at some noises - or like to bang on things and make alot of noise. Does he appear to avoid smells or tastes/textures of food. Does he need to dress himself just so - or does he need tags removed from clothes. Is his balance and co-ordination okay?
If you suspect autism your grandson should be assessed by a team of professionals who have experience of diagnosing autistic spectrum disorders. You can go to your GP and ask for a referal to such a place. It might be something like a communication clinic or a unit attached to a childrens hospital. But assessments through health are usually more thorough than through the school system.
Regarding books, my son also did not like to listen to me read. But he likes to look at them himself and looks at the pictures. He finds it hard to listen to alot of words. If he does have an auditory proceeding disorder he may actually hear sounds differently to you, so listen to how he pronounces words and if he says them wrong write them down and tell the SALT that you suspect he has CAPD. My son says lots of words wrong eg. nap for map, finickly for finally, repair for prepare, globes for gloves, bokano for volanoe, bitar for guitar. The list is endless. But if you hear things incorrectly he will be storing those incorrect sounds in his language memory and it will make it hard for him to learn to read and write because the sound he hears will not correspond with the letter he is taught it is. Do you understand that? Children that have these auditory difficulties also usually have delays in auditory processing and difficulties with auditory memory. This means it takes them alot longer to process the meaning of what is being said (on top of the fact that he may not be hearing it correctly). So use short simple sentences and leave plenty of time for him to process each one. You may also need to frequently repeat things eg. instructions, given orally as they cannot retain the information in their memory. That is why alot of these children tend to have much better visual memory and therefore visual symbols are used to help them remember and are also used as interaction tools.
Does he repeat what is said to him or things he has heard on TV or films?
My son was diagnosed as being on the spectrum when he was around 5.5 years old. But at 2+ he was quite similar to your grandson. He appeared very strong willed and only wanted to do what he wanted to do. This caused him alot of difficulties in nursery and school because he wouldn't comply. Those on the spectrum don't tend to see themselves as part of group instructions. So even now (my son is 8) the teacher will give out a general classroom instruction and then the assistants will give it personally to any of the children who are on the spectrum.
They also don't have an interest in joining in or trying to please parents/teachers/peers etc. So they appear as very independent loners. For example my son used to find it hard to ask for help. He didn't appear to know how to do it. So he would attempt to do everything himself. Sometimes he could manage, other times he couldn't. Then he learnt to ask for help at home, but wouldn't ask for help at school.
If your son appears deaf sometimes ie. you call his name and he doesn't respond. Then this is usually down to Sensory Integration Disorder or Central Auditory Processing Disorder or a combination of the two. Children who are on the spectrum can get so engrossed in what they are doing that they become totally unaware of their environment or the people in it. I also have CAPD problems and frequently screen out all noise which means I appear deaf to the extent that my husband has to repeatedly shout my name or touch me on the shoulder to make my ears start listening again!
As the Speech Therapist is not having much success I would suggest you get one that has experience of children on the autistic spectrum. The way to get their attention is through their interests therefore they have to deliver their programme through their interests. If a child is interested in Thomas the Tank Engine you have to use that in your Speech and Language programme. You are wasting your time if you think that child will stop playing with Thomas to engage in a formal speech and language session. And the child is necessarily being awkward. They literally cannot keep their attention on things of no interest to them, if they are forced to do so they usually either throw a tantrum or begin to think about something that interests them. In my sons case he will start to watch a DVD in his head. He can literally re-run anything he has seen on TV. He is like a human video recorder.
From your post, as well as language delays he also does not appear to be using language to chat. He only uses language to get his needs met or he takes you there by hand. This shows a social communication problem.
If he does repeat words or phrases from people or TV this is called echolalia - google it to see what it is.
If he has difficulties following instructions or planning and sequencing things then google Executive Function Disorder as this usually accompanies autistic spectrum disorders in some form.
Can he play with other children? Is he interested in his peers or does he object to them being there, or ignore them, or play alongside them but not join in with them?
What is he like with change? Can you move him from one toy to another one, or turn off the TV, or leave the house?
Does he have sensory issues. What is he like having his hair brushed, washed, cut - or nails cut - or shoes and socks put on. Does he appear deaf - or cover his ears at some noises - or like to bang on things and make alot of noise. Does he appear to avoid smells or tastes/textures of food. Does he need to dress himself just so - or does he need tags removed from clothes. Is his balance and co-ordination okay?
If you suspect autism your grandson should be assessed by a team of professionals who have experience of diagnosing autistic spectrum disorders. You can go to your GP and ask for a referal to such a place. It might be something like a communication clinic or a unit attached to a childrens hospital. But assessments through health are usually more thorough than through the school system.
Regarding books, my son also did not like to listen to me read. But he likes to look at them himself and looks at the pictures. He finds it hard to listen to alot of words. If he does have an auditory proceeding disorder he may actually hear sounds differently to you, so listen to how he pronounces words and if he says them wrong write them down and tell the SALT that you suspect he has CAPD. My son says lots of words wrong eg. nap for map, finickly for finally, repair for prepare, globes for gloves, bokano for volanoe, bitar for guitar. The list is endless. But if you hear things incorrectly he will be storing those incorrect sounds in his language memory and it will make it hard for him to learn to read and write because the sound he hears will not correspond with the letter he is taught it is. Do you understand that? Children that have these auditory difficulties also usually have delays in auditory processing and difficulties with auditory memory. This means it takes them alot longer to process the meaning of what is being said (on top of the fact that he may not be hearing it correctly). So use short simple sentences and leave plenty of time for him to process each one. You may also need to frequently repeat things eg. instructions, given orally as they cannot retain the information in their memory. That is why alot of these children tend to have much better visual memory and therefore visual symbols are used to help them remember and are also used as interaction tools.
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