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Helping a 3 year old manage her stress.
My 3 year old gets frustrated easily just like me.  I am looking for the best techniques on how to handle this behavior.  A little about her: She is very bright and her verbal language is that of a 4/5 year old.  She is an observer.  She takes in her environment, listens to others and than most of the time picks up on the activity etc.  She is super sweet to her 7 month old sister.  She cries out when sister pulls her hair but has NEVER gotten mad at her.  We can take her out anywhere and have rarely had any issues.  She goes through stages quickly, she was a "terrible two' for less than a month.  We work really hard on being consistant and following through with our words and choices.  At her child care she is great.
I also get frustrated very easily.  For example, untangling a necklace is not a task for me.  I'd end up throwing it away.  Having to repeat myself to someone that "choose" not to pay attentio to me, ughh!  Soooo I understand her and believe that she got this from me via nature or nuture or both:)  
She gets frustrated when she is not understood, if something breaks (hot dog bun splits apart) or can't complete a task herself.  
My concern isn't that anything is "wrong" with her.  I am looking for some advice on how to most effectively, communicate with her.  I would like her to be able to not be so sensitive and become frustrated so easily, as I continue to struggle with this as an adult.  My latest idea (as of yesterday) is explaining to her that instead of yelling and crying when you get made count to five (showed her) and breath slowly than talk to mommy.  
Thanks for the help.  
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FYI: my post says "autism community", however my daughter does not have autism.  The choices were only autism, ADHD, speech disorder and one other that didn't apply to her.  
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