I need advice for working with an autistic girl.

I'm seventeen years old, and for four years of my life I've dedicated my time with working with children diagnosed with autism. Three years ago I was hired by the parents of one of these children to continue working with their child because I did such a great job breaking her out of her little world. I've been working for them ever since, going for 3 hours Saturday and Sunday every weekend. She was four years old when I began working with her, and now she's seven.

She isn't quite as severe as other kids I've worked with; in fact, she's more Aspergers than autistic. She's incredibly smart, but she has some trouble with social communication, like she'll use lines from movies or books to respond instead of coming up with her own lines. It was my understanding that my job was to break her out of that habit, to prepare her for interacting with the real world.

The first few years working with her, I had no problems. There was the occasional misstep where I'd say something sarcastic, and she wouldn't understand, but after I'd explain the meaning she'd laugh and use the same phrase over and over. I really was making progress with her.

Now, I've noticed, she's got a new habit -- getting me in trouble. I've noticed that when I do something she doesn't approve of, instead of telling me like she usually does, she'll tell me to "repeat" it and get her mother in the room and begin crying. It would take a very long and complicated explanation to calm her down. These incidents have been growing more and more each time I encounter them, and I'm beginning to grow frustrated.

The latest incident was last week; she had an older friend over, and I was playing with both of them. This friend was not autistic. The game we were playing was a "play" the girl I work with created, and the friend complained to me that they played the same play over six times the day before, and she was a bit bored. I sympathized with her; I'd been playing the same play for six months. So we decided to try to get her to change it, just a little bit. She continued to stay stubborn, saying that we have to follow her rules or else we couldn't play with her at all. I used the same technique I've been using for three years in this sort of situation: she has a number of books that show unacceptable behavior and explain why it's unacceptable. I picked out the "bossy" book, and had her read it. She completely understood it and apologized, and we continued playing her play, but just a little different, and we had fun.

Fifteen minutes later, her parents called us down for lunch. Everything was fine until she saw her mother... She began crying and sobbing, saying that we hated her and that we didn't want to be her friend and other variations like that. Her mother chewed me out, saying that I can't continue upsetting her, and I just explained that I just used the same technique I've been using since I started working with her, but her mother said I just don't understand her, etc. It really... really frustrated me.

My theory is that she's picked up this sort of "tattletale" behavior from school. She doesn't attend special needs classes, she goes to regular first grade with regular children, and I believe she's trying to emulate their behavior. Also, her parents recently had a baby, and I believe she's reverting to baby-like behavior to gain their attention. This works because they'll give into any whim she has; whether it's play time or a new toy she really, really, really wants, they give in. I've actually heard her say during one of her crying fits that "mommy and daddy don't love me either because they don't buy me things I want" and her mother retaliated with "Oh, we love you! We'll go out and get that new Lalaloopsie doll that you've been wanting."

I know that working and living with autistic children are two different things. I also know I have no right to judge their way of parenting, but I have the feeling they're almost spoiling their child. I firmly believe that I shouldn't give her any slack just because she's a little slow... I treat, and have been treating, her as if she's any other child. Just because she's special doesn't mean she should be treated special... because that's not how the real world works. Of course, I mean that I won't use her autism as an excuse for her behavior. I want to break her of this habit. I want to prepare her for the real world, but her parents want to keep things all rainbows and kittens. In short, am I doing the right thing? LIke I said, I've been using this technique for years and it's always worked up until now. What should I do? Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my plight, and I'm looking forward to answers. :)

[sarah_b_]

Keep using techniques that work. Dont change routine because you may be in trouble from the parents even if unfairly. She has obviously picked up this as a way to gain attention and get her won way which all kids do. But you will not change the parents mind that is there little princess.