Is there some special way?

[Leng]

Is there some special way to fix anxiety when you have autism?

[MJIthewriter]

Here's another category of anxiety: relationship anxiety.

This includes relatives.  I dealt with an upset looking at family photos online. Who knew looking at family photos would trigger an emotional mine field?

Anyways, how I coped: I left a voicemail explaining my upset [read: crying and upset emotionally a wreck...not done in a rational calm well expressed manner.]

I also left an email to my mom just as emotional... After that I still felt upset, so I wrote it down in my journal in a more tempered down manner without all the emotional effects. (at least tried to minimize it and not post "How could you?! even though I sure felt that way.)  After that it helped me move on to other things. I still felt sad and I still feel a lingering...hhhhmm...*sigh*. At least I'm not crying my eyes out at the moment. Later on my mom called back and we got to talk a little. I got to express my concerns in a less emotional way.

If I can talking to people about such upsets helps too even if they aren't the person I'm upset with. The main thing is to not transfer the angry feeling out on the other person. That won't help.That just gets them defensive and not in the mood to be talked to.

[MJIthewriter]

Yep, you got it... I'm learning that. Another thing I'm starting to do is either write down ort mentally record each step I think of involved with a task. If I write it out I can show that to someone else or at least make it tangable for myself to understand. In fact in the process of typing my previous reply I triggered a couple stressers specific to my life. I could have posted it publicly but I figured it had more relevance to myself than a public issue, but the act of typing it out helped.  That way I copied and pasted the section into ms word. I went down to grandma and spoke about what I had just written about.

I wrote out some steps I need to do: for instance I need to print out some of my things, but I need a color printer.  That means wither getting color ink for grandma's printer (which I don't know what kind of cartrige to get or how to install)  That means either taking the whole printer to Office max to get that resolved, or to take my stick drive full of stuff to a copy place... That means scouting out the neighborhood so I can visually map where the place is...

To do so I need to pick a day I'm not busy, tired, or bad weather...  Things get a bit more involved, but if I break it down and explain it to myself and others, then we can work on it...

Another process involves going to a store... I need to look up the locations of the store, find an address that is closest to us, write it down, and see if I can find grandma or someone else tot ake me to that place. If I really was skilled, I'd also either find someone like grandma to help me make a call to the place, get a price range...then I know how much money to bring.

If I really wanted to make it easy, I would do a web search of the product I am looking for, record the model number and ask the store if they carry that model. If not, having a back-up in mind may help.

Without laying these out in front of me, I can feel quite overwhelmed... Breaking it down makes it seem a little bit less overwhelming.  Next thing is dealing with an "I don't feel like doing it right now" attitude... If I can figure out why I don't feel like it that may help...  I think in this case hunger may be a a factor... This means stopping to eat dinner before tackling some steps of the task I want to do.

[Sally44]

I think it would be a good idea to identify 'what you cannot do' and share that.  That is really what the rest of us do.  No-one is able to do everything.  This is on a totally different subject, but we keep animals and some of them we kill to eat.  My husband is okay with killing a chicken (which I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do), I am okay with cleaning and gutting it (my husband cannot bring himself to do that kind of thing).  Between the two of us we manage to get a meal on the table!  This example may not be to everyones taste, but I think it makes the point.

[MJIthewriter]

That happens to me. Usually those are tasks that involve using the telephone, going out on some errond, filling out a form, or contacting people I don't know. The worst ones involve needing people with certain skills that are lacking in my general area/ circle of contacts, etc...

Forms:  One problem I have, I can't always transfer the questions to see relevance to my unique sitiuation.

Then there are other tasks I'd like to do but have no idea how to go about them...
As a result I can't tackle something I can't do, so I work on the things I can do and hope and pray something can happen about the tasks I can't do but need to be done.

I think what I'll start to do is write down why I'm not able to do some tasks on my list and share it with people who may be able to help.  At least with that in mind, I'm not just throwing up my arms and giving up, but am pointing out what the hang-ups are and exactly where they are  and what solution I'm waiting for.. It's like having the firewall pop up with an allow deny question or a need to change a setting right in the middle of a download.  The download is stopped until the checkbox can be dealt with or the right settings can be configured.

Some of these tasks it could be my autism and its related hang-ups, or it could be just the fact I'm inexperianced. I'm beginning to realize after wiriting and analyizing, a lot has to do with the latter.  Just the autism makes me think that my situation is unique and I must cope with everything on my own and if I can't then I must be flawed... (some things can be coped solo and autism works as a great advantage..but for things I can't do on my own...that same thinking may get in the way.) Once I get past that mentality it's still stessful, but rather than cry about how weak or stupid I feel about myself, I'm stressing over the situation, what I'm missing and what I need to happen for me to accomplish what I want.

At least the latter way of thinking is more productive and working towards a solution. I also notice the time spent crying seems to be greatly reduced.

[Sally44]

Thats a good idea to make a list.  I too feel very stressed and anxious when I have a pile of things to do and I haven't done any of them.  But I am usually avoiding doing them because I don't like them or think I won't be able to do them very well.  But when I begin to tack them it reduces the anxiety.  So it's a good idea to try to tackle a couple of them every week so they don't build up.

[MJIthewriter]

If the anxiety attack hits at night: try writing out an "anxiety list"

I don't know where I got the idea or the name from, but I've found it helps.  That way I can list the things that are stressing me out and make a "to do" list for the week or the month.

For instance getting new glasses was a stressor for me... It'd bother me, but I could not be bothered at the times I needed to talk about it. At least with the list in front of me, I can remember what things I want to get done at a more appropriate time.

Obviously no one can get glasses immediately at 3 am... But at least writing it down can help me remember to get the ball rolling that week during the day time.

Next thing on my anxiety list: Get my hair cut and donate it to LOL or similar organization.

Any other things that come up I can write down and learn to prioritize.

[MJIthewriter]

I'm on Welbutrin for depression. I think it may help with the anxiety too... I still get the "clueless" feeling when confronted with things and places not familiar, but at least I'm not over-the-top-melting down like I was when I first moved here last year.

I also don't seem to flip out over every little thing like I did before. It could also be I've finally adjusted to my environment too, who knows.

Overall I'm feeling pretty good. Weather seems to affect my mood a lot. Cold, rainy, overly sunny or overly cloudy tend to affect me to various degrees...

Warm and partially cloudy days seem to be the best.  I tend to be the most lively and overall feeling better if temps are about 70-80 degrees. I can take up to 85 for outdoor temps, but anything over drains me.
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For calming down, do you have any hobbies? Anything to "stim" on?  I find if I'm busy with something I enjoy I'm less jumpy. Growing houseplants is one of those activities that calm me down.  I especially like African Volets.  If you like flowers, maybe finding an African violet in bloom may be a good thing.

If you can, finding someone to talk out your anxiety. It helps. Sometimes I can hit off meltdowns if I tell people what I am anxious about and what I am worried about.  Just the act of talking helps. Posting on the net can help too.

[Sally44]

If your sensory system is also hypersensitive an Occupational Therapist might be able to help, but make sure it is one that has experience and understanding of autism and sensory integration problems.
You could also try reducing things like caffeine, alcohol etc as that is a stimulant and can cause your body to release stress hormones.  Another good common sense thing to do is to reduce sugar intake and make sure you eat something that is nutrianally balanced, even if it is a snack about every 2-3 hours.  That will keep your blood sugar constant and stop any highs/lows from fluctuating blood sugar.
Then there are exercise regimes such as Yoga, Tai Chi which are good for keeping fit and also for relaxing.  If they don't appeal, then any exercise is very good at reducing stress and releasing happy chemicals in the brain.

[Eldermom]

Buspar is an anti anxiety medication. My son would take 2.5 mg (1/2 tablet) 3 times a day. I have taken this med myself during times of stress . We do not experience any side effects and the medication is easy to discontinue ,also without any side effects.

Eldermom

[Leng]

I get scared when I faint, or when I get sick, or when people act too loud.  Then I cry because I am scared I'm going to die, even though I'm really not.  The only medicine I take now is Midodrine for blood pressure.  I'm underweight too, but I don't know if that matters.  I have autism, so is there a special way to fix my anxiety?

[Eldermom]

Yes there is but you have not provided any information that would help us help you.
Eldermom