Zero Control over a 5 year old

My 5 year old was diagnosed with PDD-Autism one year ago when he was 4 years old. Both Mom & myself have the following issues with him at home.

I would really appreciate some insight into this behavior. It is severly impacting our lives at home & ability to raise him & our daughter who is just a year older than he is.

Would want to know are these issues part of his PDD-Autism or there is something else that needs to be looked into.

We are just moving back from Toronto to New York City/Long Island. It would be great If any resources can be pointed out in the same area that might help.

1. He does not listen, rather does not even acknowledge while being spoken to. His involvement in what ever activity he is doing is so intense that he cuts himself from the person who is talking to him even if mom is sitting one foot away & trying to get his attention by talking gently, loudly or even shouting.

2. He has to be virtually pulled/dragged/picked up and taken to the bathroom to get his hands washed.
3. His toilet training habits have also not improved and are sketchy & not at par with what a 5 year old child can & should do.
4. He always wants to have his own way & virtually goes into a tantrum if he does not want to be given a shower, eat food.
5. Mom would hold a cup of milk in her hand for 5, 10, 15 minutes & not get him to drink more than a half the cup.
6. He can not sit still while having meals and slips off chair or just gets off and walk/runs away.
7. Is not sensitive to the fact that his kicking or punching might cause pain/hurt mom or anyone else specilly when he is an tantrum/disagreement.

Thank you.

[achilles2]

I am sorry your family is having such a rough time. First is he at least  getting some occupational, speech therapy? It sounds like he has quite a bit of sensory issues. Second moving is a huge change for anybody, it is even harder for a child with autism. If he does get speech therapy has anyone did a social story for him to explain the move? If you do not know much about social stories here is a link that will give you some information.
http://www.polyxo.com/socialstories/introduction.html

Here is a website that will help you search for services for your son in your area.
http://www.spdfoundation.net/directory/index.html

SPD stand for sensory processing disorder. If any professional understand this then it is a good bet that the professional also understand autism.
If you are interested in a book written by a mom who tells about her journey with her son with autism then you might want to read "Dancing With Max" by, Emily Colson.

I hope this helps,http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Autism/Zero-Control-over-a-5-year-old/show/1523604#
achilles2