help

on trying to find out what was wrong with my son i found out he has symptems 0f aspergers, i then realised that what i was reading was very simuler to me and my problems, as u can imagine i was gutted in one way it was a relief to work out why people looked at me strangely and why i never seemed to fit in or keep friends for long, and this is the same with my son. My husband doesant want to have him assesed or labled as he calls it but if i could get him some help with the sociel side of things then it surely is worth it. I cant go to my doctor as he doesant want to know so i just wondered what i do to look into getting him help so he doesant end up as unhappy , paronoid and have such low self asteem as me  please help .


This discussion is related to Could our 6 year old boy have Aspergers? Please help - any info .

[888mom]

You don't have to have a label for your son to get help unless your insurance company is stupid and requires you to have a label so they can up your rates or might consider upping the rate of the company if you have it through work and you work in a small workplace.  If you are inquiring as to what kind of doctor to see, not sure exactly but possibly a child psychiatrist or a developmental pediatrician.  They will help you learn how to handle behavioral issues and social issues.  Pediatric neurologists can also diagnose autism but I don't know if they can help you with developmental issues like with social anxiety or social communication.  People I know who have used the neurologist route had small kids with seizures or were having major sleep problems.  They haven't really followed up with these doctors after they got the diagnosis.  I saw a developmental pediatrician for my daughter and was very happy.  He was helping us with behavioral issues (preschool level) that were coming about because of her sensory issues and partly because of the OCD issues.  And then there were some that were just typical 2 and 3 year old behavior that she was learning she could get away with complaining about everything since she couldn't talk.  Anyways, I liked the developmental pediatrician route.  I bet a child psychiatrist route might be good for someone who is older.  But, then I guess it would all depend on what your insurance covers.  Sometimes the doctor is covered but then if they have a team of therapists to do a diagnosis, sometimes you have a deductible to meet or sometimes they are just not covered.  That was a big shocker when I got the bill thinking I would just have a copay for the doctor.  Nope.  Deductible for the team of therapists who did all the testing.  Deductible for the blood work.  $2500 later... well, it was worth it.  We would have done it anyway, just would have been nicer to know upfront how to budget for it.

My husband went through counseling to a private psychiatrist in middle school for several years for social anxiety and social problems with peers.  He refuses to acknowledge any asperger similarities in him.  I don't think he has aspergers, but he's kind of borderline.  His mom has told me some stories of him growing up and her parenting.  She also sees so many similarities between my daughter and him.  Our daughter has huge language delays though, and a ton more OCD issues on top of the sensory issues.  I have a lot of asperger tendencies too, but not aspergers (just mostly the sensory processing disorder).  My daughter and I are similar in our sensory processing problems.  She is very outgoing but has problems with what therapists call "social cueing" so she can't understand what's going on in situations.  She also doesn't seem to understand what is appropriate at some times with some people and not with others.  Lately she's trying to hug everybody and hold everyone's hand.  Most kids get really annoyed with her and don't want to play with her anymore.  She will need help as she gets older.  Yes she is social, but she does need help with socializing with peers.  I don't really care about a label.  Just so long as I can get help.  Unfortunately school systems need labels for everything these days to help your child.  So even to get her therapy and speech help, yes, we had to get her a label of PDD-NOS when she was not quite 3.  I think it is accurate.  The school system did their own assessment and came up with autism spectrum disorder.  They don't differentiate between the various types.  But anyways, I can see already that she will continue to need help on social communication.  Some things will not go away entirely.  She will be doing a lot of "coping" her whole life.  It will take longer to figure things out.  

If you are interested in what the therapists did with my husband when he was in middle school, you can send me a private message.  Don't think he'd like me telling the whole world about it.  

If you have aspergers, I wouldn't feel bad about it.  You are the same person you always have been and be proud of it.  I think asperger people have a lot of great qualities about them... which is probably the same qualities I see in my husband.