isit autism or delay?

[zamorana]

hi my son is almost 26 months he has good eye contact, says many words and few 2 word sentences, undestands simple directions and sometimes respond to his name. what concerns me is his repetitive behaviors. he sometimes does stay alone and play in a repetitive way, like opening and closing a box many time or a door. and isn't very sociable with kids but seems intrested when he sees a kid. like he looks at him and follows him with his eyes but doesn't really play with. sometimes he hugs and kisses kids when we tell him so. so my question is what could it be the problem when a child is only showing repetitive behaviors and not so sociable with kids but really seems to enjoy interaction and play with his parents and seems also normal in others aspects.

It's really confusing and im so sick and tired of wondering what is wrong with my son.

please ur advice is greately appreciated.

[shaz71]

Hi again thanks for that no i have never had her to a pscyhologist, but am thinking i might have to as i do know organization is a major issue with her as is memory, she is very bright, i asked at the parenting group about my younger childs anxiety and then i told her i know how she feels as i was extremely anxious as a child but i can't remember being like it at her age more 13+ but i used to sit behind chair in family room by myself and i remember me being picked last for rounders or any other team games as i wasn't good with ball skills or foot work, so they may have gotten it from me, but i was very organized everything had its place and still does, although i am more unorganized than what i used to be, but it is finding time to organize it lol especially with four children. My eldest 18yr old son if i would have taken him to see a psychologist when younger he would have definately gotten a autistic diagnosis as he wasn't social in his first year and the kids he did hang around with one was autistic and the other as now gotten a social anxiety diagnosis later on. So it looks like it is affecting all my kids apart from my youngest at the moment she seems ok but so did my eldest, mind you she trips a lot over thin air and she flaps her hands and tip toes on certain surfaces, she also has a bad temper on her where she throws things and hits out and screams a lot when angry happy whatever?????? So as you can say i have quite a bit going on lol. Sharon x

[specialmom]

I guess every child has a story to tell, right?  I'm going to make a suggestion----  I'm a clinical psychologist by degree and worked in the field for almot two decades until I became a stay at home mom.  I'm wondering if you've ever had your older daughter to a psychiatrist (medical doctor) or child psychologist (Phd doctor)?  I think some of the things you speak of could be helped, I really do.  Especially social anxiety and anger issues/coping skills (ie:  scars on the hands from when she is upset and thoughts of wanting herself and others dead).  I also wonder about something called "motor planning" with your kids.  This is part of the sensory system and is actually why dyspraxia often happens.  If the signals get crossed in the organization process of an activity and then the signal gets lost when transferred to the part of the body (mouth for speech, legs for running, etc) that performs the activity------  it isn't going to come off very well.  This is why lots of kids with sensory integration disorder have such a difficult time with handwriting and early on-----  tripping a lot is a sign of sensory.  This can be helped with an occupational therapist.  

My son is almost 6 now and was diagnosed at 4 with sensory integration.  We do occupational therapy once a week and a LOAD of activities every day at home.  This helps tremendously and he is doing well.  He started kindergarten this year and it's so far been a good year.  He is still awkward socially but we are working on it. We still work on handwriting as well.  But overall-----  I'm happy with the progress.

I'm glad things are going a little better for you and your kids!  Keep up the good work and remember we are the advocates for  our children!!  take care.

[shaz71]

Hi i remember you also i just haven't been on for a while due to not being able to reply.  Melissa is still showing autistic tendencies just not as much or they don't seem apparant, like she still as to touch everything. She also is social but you should see her talking to her friends up in their faces or at the side of them talking to everything but them she is 2yrs behind in speech and language. She has fine motor skill problems, she takes everything literally. I know she isn't severe but i may think it is more dyspraxia than autism which can go hand in hand with everything that is happening to her ie irlens, dyslexia, dyscalcula which i know she definately has. She is very anxious in social situations and has a lot of sensory difficulties ie shoes and socks being her main always has to kick them off everywhere, lights bright, sounds loud then others ok. She is still immature and i know she will stand out with her other friends that are on the same level and funnily enough i see their mums struggling with them, hyper when finished school, there is five of them altogether that have to be taken out of lesson to have individual lessons as they are that far behind. But i am now pleased that people are listening more to me rather than making me sound like a neurotic mum. I am thinking next to get a educational psychologist in to look at her but in the mean time i will bide my time. As like you said you know your own child and i definatley know she will get worse with time.
You may think how do i know, because i think my eldest daughter is definately aspergers, she flaps her hands when excited looks clumsy in her body the way she stands, doesn't do much eye contact, she is very intelligent, still immature at 14 in certain things ie snatches, says mean things to people and hurts others feelings and they end up falling out but make friends again and funnily enough the one friend she has had since school and her other friends twins have parents as white witches????? They all get called geeks because they don't fit into chav category and they are all into naruto, and Lisa is obsessed by it to the extreme if she isn't watching it on the net then she will draw it for hours and the group of friends are on about cosplaying . Also her major sensory to clothes labels have to be cut out, they have to be comfy and not itch, the amount of clothes i have bought her that are still hung in her wardrobe is unbelievable. Also when growing up she used to strip literally down to nothing and now my younger daughter is doing the same nearly 3. She also collected sticks and stones and took them to bed with her, she literally became a dog until the age of 7 and i mean very embarrasingly so licking people sniffing people, lapping her drinks. She licked windows tables everything. She either hung around with people 4-5yrs younger or to the other extreme older like my age teacher pet, it is only the past year she started hanging around with her own age group. She never really had friends as she never got invited to parties as she always hurt people by saying nasty things to them, she even had a ed psych look at her and a few others due to them saying horrible things to each other they ended up splitting them up as they were that bad into seperate classes. The list is endless, but she stood out, but funnily enough all the teachers remember her even now after about 4 yrs after leaving her school, so at least she stood out of a crowd, lol. She is now doing ok, although she is not to good with organizing but getting better, seems a bit more confident but can be also quite depressive at times, she has cut herself, she head butts walls, and hits things with her hands she has scars on them all due to frustration and anger. She loves us but when angry will leave notes lying around saying she wishes she could get a new family, wishes we were all dead wishes she was dead, but i know it is when i have told her off for doing something but she doesn't like it, although i know she loves us and i know she doesn't mean it when she first started to writed things like this it was awful, but now i ignore them they are becoming less. Sorry rambling again and my 3yr old she is another essay lol. Hello again. How old is your son now and did he get a diagnosis? Sharon x

[specialmom]

Hi,  I give you credit for being a wonderful mom who wants the best for your child.  It is good that you are reassured by experts but your child is still young.  My son was evaluated for sensory integration disorder (which is a developmental delay of the nervous system that does NOT resolve and nor does ADD/ADHD also a developmental delay-----  kids with these delays have them the rest of their life typically but have coping strategies they are taught hopefully when  young.  This is according to all my research and direct discussions with the occupational therapists that treat sensory.  My son will not catch up or grow out of sensory integration disorder.  He will always have difficulty with fine motor skills for example.)  anyway----  my son was evaluated at 3 and it was determined that they couldn't tell if he had it (which I took as he didn't)-----  but it became clearer as he got older.  By 4 it was really obvious.  As more is expected of a child, it becomes more appearent.  I agree with the above, preschool is a good place to see how your daughter will compare to other peers her age.  Much of what you write is not something that sounds like autism to me but I would say that something is going on.  Usually there are waiting lists for schools and for further evaluations from an occupational therapist, speech therapist, and psychologist.  I'd get on the wait list.  I think in 6 months, issues or if something is a nonissue will be more clear.  I don't think a parent is ever wrong for listening to the warning bells going off in their heads about their kids.  Good luck.

[shaz71]

Hi Sally haven't been on for a while a pop up blocker was preventing me from replying i have now switched it off. How are you doing?

I don't know if you remember me i have a daughter who is now 7yr old she was 6 at the time and i thought she may be on the spectrum somewhere.

Well a lot as happened since i spoke to you last she was referred to a psychologist who said it was due to me and her dad splitting up and sent me on a parenting course, which i am nearing the end of it and yes it as helped a little with some of the behaviour but obviously not all. But the positive praise is working as her confidence is a lot better although she is still very anxious.

She is now a year and half behind in her education, she is now on the SEN register, they have just found her to have irlens and needs pink overlay to help her read which i have seen an improvement but funny thing is it is making her see words back how she used to ie was instead of saw and on instead of no etc p q and b and d. She is on level 1c which is the same as a five year old going into yr1 she is now yr3. She as also been recently diagnosed with reflux so under ivestigation there wether they can do anything i don't know.

It is just a waiting game at the minuite as to see how she goes, she is still under a speech therapist. This time last year i was feeling like a neurotic mum as no one listened, the psychologist told me to go on the parenting course as the school said there wasn't a problem as they thought she would come on and fobbed my worries off. In her end of year report it said Melissa is a social girl as they knew i was on about autism but she is impulsive in hitting out and saying mean things to other children, she is also energetic and can do attention seeking behaviour, but all this is normal at the age of 7???????

So i am just biding my time as now that her friends are maturing it is a matter of time before her ways become more evident then i will have more proof. Sorry for rambling but i haven't been able to tell you much until now. You will remember me now with my essays lol. Sharon x

[Sally44]

Firstly children on the spectrum do not have any 'delay' they have 'disorder'.  That is why it is called an autistic spectrum disorder.  With 'delay' there is every expectation that the child will catch up.  An autistic child always has difficulties in specific areas and never catches up, although they do develop, they are never at the same functioning level as their peers.  However they maybe brilliant in other aspects eg. visual learning, spatial ability, some have hyperlexia, etc.  So when you look at their 'abilities' there is a 'spiky profile' ie. good in some things, bad in others.

Does your son go to a nursery?  If not you could start taking him for a few mornings a week to see how he takes to the social side of things.  Typically childrens difficulties due to being on the autistic spectrum start to show at around age 3+ when other children become more social, their vocabularly explodes and they interact more and more.  So, unless there is some behaviours that are really obvious, you could wait until he is older to see how he developes.  

But don't leave it until he is school age.  If he has difficulties at around 3 they will be more pronounced at school age because if a child does not have the basic skills needed they cannot build on them.

Also if you find later on that you want him to be assessed then you should look for a multi disciplinary team that has experience and expertise in diagnosing autistic spectrum disorders.

[zamorana]

Saw the neurologist today and he kind of made fun of me. he was like i should stop checking the researching about autism through the internet and that my kid is just fine. he was like some kids just take longer to speak just late bloomers.he called him several times and turned on a flash light and checked if he can follow it. My son responded to his name and followed the light and when we claped he looked at us and laughed. So according ti the doc and should leave my kid alone and he'll just grow up to be a smart boy. what do u think?

[specialmom]

I do wish you luck!!!  I will say that sensory integration disorder is usually diagnosed by an occupational therapist though.  Ask the neurologist about it and he'll probably refer you to an Occupational therapist (I hope so!).  Good luck----- your son will be getting the best he can by your addressing any issues early!  

[zamorana]

well I have an appointment with a neurologist this thursday we'll let u know how it goes. Wish me luck:)

[zamorana]

he pretends he is cooking or talking on the phone or brushing his hair but keep repeating the same move over and over. plus i read in a site that waht differentiate kids with SID from autism is that they have more emotional empathy and are more sociable.

[zamorana]

THANKS A LOT FOR ur reply.
well i thinkg u might be right, in fact i looked up SID through the internet the other day coz i thought it could be a possibility. I don't think its autism, I hope not, coz hady has been really involved with us and seems sociable at times but doesn't really know how to continue. for example he would call me at look at me staright in the eyes and say things that i dont really understand. plus sometimes he throws his pecifier on purpose on the floor so I would come and pick it up and when i do that he laughs hard. I don't think autistic kids do that, do they?

he does pretend play but in a repetitive way, for example, he pretend he is cookin

[specialmom]

My son has sensory integration disorder and here is what the occupational therapist told us.  Sensory is a delay of the nervous system and involves the brain's messaging system.  If motor planning is involved with sensory then some kids will have a difficult time playing.  They aren't getting the signals straight to organize play. They often wander a room if in preschool because they can't organize to sit and do something there.  Play can be this way as well.  Socialization can be difficult as well and having problems with other kids is a hallmark sign of sensory (and other things).  

How this works into your question, I don't know.  But sensory is diagnosed by an occupational therapist and therapy looks like play.  

One thing I did to help my son was "floor time".   I would get down on the floor with him and let him lead us in play.  I'd encourage him to pretend----  I'd say things like, "then what did the train do?"  ETc.  

For social play, I was my son's first play mate.  I showed him how to build with blocks, how to set up a train track, how to take turns, etc.  

Pretend play is key-----  does your son ever pick up a car and pretend it is driving?  That is important.  The repative stuff would matter less if he was playing like that at times.  

Anyway, good luck.  An evaluation never hurts . . .