obnoxious behavior

[lowv]

My 10 yr. old grandson, diagnosed 5mos. ago with Aspergers, has become extremely obnoxious-talking back, refusing to do things constantly, rude, calling me names, telling me to "shut up" a lot. Everyday he reminds me of how many days till Christmas. There have been lots of changes in our home lately. He will be mean and "cantankerous" for a few minutes and then be throwing his arms around me or his cat telling us how much he loves us. I'm having a hard time being patient with him after the hurtful name-calling. Help! Is this typical and do you have any suggestions.?


This discussion is related to Do you know a specialist?.

[lowv]

Thanks for your suggestions. I actually used to do the brushing when he was younger and will definitely try it again.

[lowv]

Yes, I'm raising him on my own. I have help from an agency which provides respite babysitters and some financial help . They also do case monitoring because of the number of people involved in his care. I'm reaching out here because the Aspergers diagnosis is fairly new and I have educated and involved myself about ta child with RAD , but this is all different and I have only his therapists to advise me. They are great but aren't here when these behaviors occur.  I live alone .

[Majikat]

intensive behavioural treatment...

sounds like you have your hands full... are you raising him on your own?

have you tried using pressure on him a couple times of day The Wilbarger technique) it really helped my son when he was being violent and having non stop tantrums...

I hope that you have help with him and that you have some people around you that can relate to what you are going through... not having support will make you go insane! i dont eally have any friend that i can relate with but my sons grandparents are always around to help

[lowv]

What are "abi-ibi "behavior treatments? He was hospitalized for a month in Jan 2011 for violent behaviors and his pattern has been to get worse from Oct thru Feb. each year. His psychiatrist and his psychologist are carefully monitoring him and the meds. He really recieves excellent follow-up so I am leaving the medication decisions up to them. We have tried reducing them and he gets very angry and unmanageable. The psychologist says working with him is like walking thru a" minefield" He also has a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder , which the DSM says can't co-exist with Aspergers ,but his Drs. totally disagree. And I do and am right now" taking away his favorite things" but because of the RAD it is totally ineffective.[these kids have already lost everything they care about]  Honestly I guess I just am reaching out  for help if anyone has any ideas.

[Majikat]

i would really just get him off the meds... they are probably changing him... you could try aba/ibi... behavioural treatments will work better than meds.
there are a lot of vitamins that you can try.

really you have to appreciate what you have and think about how much worse others have it....

have you tried punishing him by taking some of his favourite things away for a day or 2?

I think some of the behaviours are not even related to the Aspergers... it is normal for him to be acting out and essentially testing you so you have to put your food down and show him that you are boss... try not to yell tho cause its not affective

[lowv]

Yes, he has been on meds since January. He has been experiencing a lot of side effects-abd. pain, intermittent vomiting ,indigestion and is waiting for a January appt. with a gastroenterologist before his psychiatrist tries changing his meds. again. His behavior issues seem worse when he is feeling alright. I know it sounds like I'm expecting too much from him but he is very bright and sweet ordinarily and this is tough to live with. What to do as he keeps up this name-calling is my biggest dilema? As has been pointed out on here before, taking away priveledges is ineffective in changing behavior but he'll only have more problems in life if he is allowed to treat others badly.

[Majikat]

well i would think that it is normal for most children to count down the days till christmas... if there has been a lot of change that will change behaviour quite a bit also he is probably starting to get overloaded with hormones as puberty is probably starting... you have to be patient losing your temper will only make the situation worse... my son has quite severe autism and i just remind myself that this behaviour is not going to last all day or that tomorrow should be better...
have you started him on medication since his diagnoses? cause that could be a factor in his behaviour changes