placing autistic grandchild in right school

Hi Sally44, I have good news. My daughter-in-law has applied to put my slightly autistic grandchild in a special education yeshiva. They said they would like to work with the child to improve his social skills in kindegarten next Sept and then put him in first grade the following year. Then he will only be 6 months older than the other kids. It seems like the right place to put him. I am happy she made the right choice. Thanks for all your good advice and information. I will give it to her.

[Sally44]

It is very hard for any parent to come to the decision that a special ed placement is best suited.  You have such hopes and expectations for your child, and then to have to lower the bar is very hard.  And at the beginning you can find yourself having to do that on more than one occasion.  However, children on the autistic spectrum do tend to struggle in mainstream school because they don't have the language and social skills to get by, and these children tend to have alot of anxiety as well.  But with input from a Speech Therapist (for language and social skills), and an Educational Psychologist, they should make recommendations as to how the school meets his needs in class and during playtimes and dinnertimes.  For example, my son goes to a social skills group (and also has speech therapy with a therapist once a week, which is practised daily in school).  Whatever they are working on at that time is learnt in the session, then the Social Group, then the Classroom, then the Playground.  He has a dedicated key worker who works with him most of the day.  He is supported during playtimes and is prompted and supported if he spends too long on his own.  And they would prompt him to use the skills he has been practising throughout the week to intiate play.
Whatever educational setting he is in you need to have a precise idea of the level of support he gets and from whom, so that you can measure whether he makes an acceptable amount of progress within an academic year.  If he doesn't, on the current level of support, then you have evidence that he needs further input.
Make sure they get in writing 'how' they intend to provide therapies, supports and approaches and 'by whom'.  For example a dinnerlady encouraging him to play is not good enough.  You need a speech therapist to have put together a programme of targets and for a dedicated key worker to be on the playground/dinnertime to be able to prompt him to use those learnt skills.  For example if my son was approached and asked "do you want to play", he would probably say "I don't know".  But if you ask him "who do you want to play with?" He would reply with a child's name, and then you would prompt him to use the phrase he has been taught to join in or ask a child to play.
And, although these children will always have difficulties in these areas, due to their diagosis, they still learn and progress and develop and gain skills to help them get by in life.  Even Einstein is thought to have had autistic traits.
Best of luck.