How do I ask my Doctor to test me?

I have had a series of health problems come up that I have been fighting tooth and nail for the past 5 years. I am 33 and active, (or at least, want to be and sometimes I can be). I miss having my life.
I have tried several medications from doc's, and I have moved to this new town and found a doctor here who I really think listens, she was the only one in 8 years to believe my symptoms over my IUD and it turned out the sucker was displaced and embedded, so I feel good about her listening to me.

I was never satisfied with having pills thrown at me when I really wanted to know WHY my body wasn't working.

I have researched as much as I am able and I suspect I may have an auto immune disease, possibly Lupus.
My question is how can I ask my doctor to test me or screen me for that without sounding like I am trying to diagnose myself?

I am nervous since the last time I asked a doc to help me figure out what was wrong with me, he told me that women who have been abused often have symptoms that are all in there head. (this was after I admitted to him that as a teenager I had been kidnapped and abused for 3 years, I only shared that because I thought perhaps I had some sort of an old injury to my spine that was acting up, I was desperate for help.)
I left in tears, feeling like a fool, so now I get nervous that if i tell the doctor how badly my body is acting up, she will think I am crazy.

any advice on talking to my doctor would be appreciated.

[Red_Star]

My tips would be to write down all your symptoms no matter how trivial and hand them to your doctor to see if he/she had any opinions on what condition/disease/deficiency etc you may have.  If you have any suspicions of what you may have, then mention this to your doctor. Misdiagnosis is common so you need to be proactive about your health.

You may want to write down the tests you would like to test for and hand them to your doctor. You may also want to take along any extra information from books, online articles, medical studies if your doctor questions why you are asking for these labs.  Any doctor who makes you feel like a fool is your new ex doctor. The doctor works for you not the other way around.