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1514536 tn?1290521225

starting again

i have just miscarried my first little angel 3 days ago. i was 6 weeks.  i had to have a D&C and i saw my little baby in the toilet for the only time we would meet face to face. i think the only thing that could possibly start to heal this wound is to have another baby.
when do you think it is safe to start trying again?

and if anyone has anything that helped them get through this i would appreciate the advise too.
thank you
2 Responses
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1199086 tn?1276218013
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's a terrible and trying thing to go through. The wound will never be fully healed but it will get easier to deal with in time. I had an ectopic pregnancy and honestly, it didn't start getting any easier for me until after my due date. I still have setbacks, especially when I see all of my friends having babies now. But just know that it's okay to feel the way you do right now. Other people may not understand and expect for you to "get over it" but no one knows what this pain feels like unless they've been through it themselves. You are completely entitled to your emotions. I planted a tree on our baby's due date so I could watch that grow in remembrance of the baby we lost. I had a pregnancy journal that obviously was never finished, but I wrote a note to our baby inside it. I felt like doing all of this was me laying my baby to rest. And it may not be something you're ready for just yet, but in the meantime, music is definitely a good outlet. Sometimes a song says everything you can't quite put into words.

As for when to try again, I've always heard that for miscarriages you should wait two cycles or three months (whichever comes first). Hope this helps! Take care of yourself and SSBD!
Helpful - 0
773214 tn?1295135069
So sorry to hear of your loss.  First of all, as far as things to help get you get through your loss...I found comfort in prayer and music...  Glory Baby is a really nice song.  It's by Watermark I believe, you can find it on Amazon.  You may also find peace in journaling or putting together a box of things to remember your baby by.  It is hard, but time will help heal the pain.

As far as trying again...I had a d&c at 7 weeks and was told to wait two cycles...but I only waited one.  Unfortunately, the m/c can make your cycles a little wacky...and it ended up taking me awhile to get pregnant again.  I will say that it did help take the pain away, but a part of you will always remember the one you lost.  Give yourself patience and don't beat yourself up each month if you don't get pregnant.  I spent 11 miserable months that way...its hard, but have faith that it will happen, and when it does you will be a richer person for it, and appreciate that little life more than before!!

Take care!  And good luck!
Helpful - 0
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