Baby Dust Buddies - TTC and Pregnancy after a Loss User Group
tired of being pretending
About This Group:

Our TTC and Pregnancy after a Loss Group is a Public Group for women to share their conception journeys after a miscarriage. From starting over after a loss; surviving the two week wait; dealing with a BFN; celebrating the coveted BFP and making it through nine months of worry. Baby dust is sprinkled joyfully and liberally all around.

Founded by bam1014 on September 25, 2009
475 members
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tired of being pretending

I loss my baby boy 2week ago and go thru a still birth thru c-sec... :(( since then I pretend stronger in front everyone that I meet bcos I don't want them worry me and its bcos my hubby was very amazing in supporting me I think its worth to do it for him... but deep down I am slices and actually already dead the day my baby gone. I just don't know why I am still here writing :(( then last night I finally break down and I guess I make my hubby shock of how bad my heartbreaking was actually :(( I am really tired being pretending everything was okay... things happen for reason and bla...bla...bla... while all I want to do was crying and shout out loud I am in horrible pain...!!!!
7 Comments
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1134468_tn?1381433185
I'm soooo sorry for your loss. Don't pretend and don't worry about who it may affend or upset. U are allowed to grieve and u should allow yourself to feel ALL the feelings that goes along with it. I totally understand wat u sayn about ppl sayn everythin happens for a reason, or it will happen again, or you're young u can try again or it will get better...I didn't wana hear any of that either wen I had an mc @ 15wks.But understand thats wat ppl r sayn to make u feel better, I mean wat do u say to sum1 who jus lost a child?!?! In the aftermath I realized that I havin a lovin husband who would b by my side no matter wat, much how u describe your husband and your marriage. Lean on him. He went thru it wit u so nobody understands more then him. Even if he doesn't xpress it(u kno men don't like to talk about feelings,lol). Big bear hug! So sorry again.
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1935407_tn?1339237714
Lisha dear... thank you so much...!! yeahhh... i am really tired dear... tired and i finally tell myself ENOUGH...!!! i want to cry... shout... and just lay on bed grief of losing Aidan... :(( its really pain but i try moving on... My hubby is very wonderful man and i am so lucky indeed...!!! i see the other side of him after the passing of Aidan and its actually shock me too... but all i need now its crying and crying and crying.. i am trying dear.. to sit here.. reading... help with comment that i think can help.. but thats it.. i not feel like going out.. meeting people who only give me same same same comforting words... i not blame them neither dislike it but i am just tired of it.... and i feel good of knowing people in this forum are so understanding and give a very good advised.... thank you all... hugsss...

Rachel
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1134468_tn?1381433185
your story touched my heart. i could hear the pain in your post so i had to respond. it really helped me to have these types of forums. it really shows u arent alone no matter how alone u feel. women are goin thru the same circumstances & feelings all across the world. im jus glad i can be a source of encouragement to someone else like some of these other ladies were for me. scream, yell, shout. dont hold back. take your time. and dont feel bad about crying...its ok to cry! thats y god gave us tears, lol
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1935407_tn?1339237714
Agree with you... that's why God gave us tears...!!! i finally used it bcos that all i want to do now... thanks dear for being so supportive...!!! my baby so poor boy and i am not so lucky to be mommy... :(( but i hope someday when time come and i success for adoption i can see the happiness once again...!!! hugsss..xxx
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2180285_tn?1377870331
I too went through a still birth of my only son Chance born too soon may 18/12
i am still grieving him and TTC again. it is the worst thing i have every gone through


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1935407_tn?1339237714
Oh dear.... i am speechless....!! been there myself i can claim i know how exactly you felt about... i am so sorry you been thru it..!! how long are you when is happen...? i just really have no advised to offer beside i am here if you need friend to talk.. hugs...xxx Rachel...
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2180285_tn?1377870331
well i was 19.5 weeks when i was schedualed for normal anatomy scan on the wednesday and instead i went and the tech said nothing didnt show me anything and no pictures i knew something was wrong.
so i went to work the thurs and came home with some pains and not feeling good so called midwife to ask her and she said she was trying to get a hold of me all day to go to hospital for another ultrasound.
she informed me at that point that the tech never found heart beat so i couldnt go to hospital at that point as the ultrasound place was closed for night so the next morning hospital called me to come in at 11.
I went to hospital where they confirmed baby had no heart beat and had been gone for some time as he was very small and i should have been 20 weeks but he had been gone for approx 2 weeks.  it is the worst metal pain i have ever felt as i now was grieving a pregnancy that i wanted and then after delivering him in ER that night i found out i finally had gotten a boy something i never thought would happen but had prayed for.
so now i have to grieve the loss of my son and pregnancy..
I am doing better now and so excited to try again right now i am 11 dpo and hopefull i am having signs i might be but so scared to do a test and see nothing so i am waiting til i cant wait no more
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