Lumbar Fusion?? or IDET??

I am a 40 year old woman. I have had back pain since I was 13 years old. Most of the time the pain has been tolerable with some stretching and over the counter medications. Occassionally I would have a flare up that required seeing a doctor , prescription meds and physical therapy. In March of 2007 I suffered severe low back pain, after reaching forward. I could hardly walk and went to see an Orthopedic Doctor. I was prescribed antiinflammatories, pain meds and was sent for an MRI. I had a bulge at L4 L5 and a small central herniation at L5 S1. After approximately 4 weeks and no relief I was sent for epidural injections. After the first set of injections, my pain increased times 10. I was told the only thing that could help would be another set of epidural injections. I was told that a nerve cluster may have been touched. I went for for two more sets of injections and the pain was reduced but back to about where I had started before the first epidural. The pain did change I have pain in my low back, behind my right knee, in my calf, shin and  throbbing in my right ankle. I have some numbness in my small toe. My pain changes depending on my activity. I vary from a 3-10 pain scale depending on the day and what I have done and sometimes the weather.
I saw a spinal surgeon who told me that the pain in my leg could not be linked conclusively to my back problem. He suggested a Discography. I saw a neurosurgeon who agreed. They both said that L4-L5 looks like there is something off due to the darker image on the MRI. However other than that they saw nothing on my MRI's.
I went for the discography. I was diagnosed with a grade 2 annular tear at 5:00 at L4 L5 and a grade 2 annular tear at 6:00 at L5 S1. The pain down my leg was not replicated.
Both of these surgeons are suggesting a Spinal Fusion at both levels.
I went for a third opinion, another Spinal Surgeon, who was surprised that any surgeon said Fusion. He said that my spine is otherwise healthy. He suggested IDET. The other surgeons do not agree with the IDET procedure and I am told that insurance will most likely not cover the IDET.
Right now I can't lift, bend, sit too long, walk too long, stand too long, push, pull, drive for more than 20 minutes without experiencing a significant increase in my pain. I have been coping while still taking antiinflammatories and pain medications. I am feeling worn out and don't think I can cope like this much longer.
Do you have any suggestions?
I work full time, and by the time I get home at night I am unable to do anything with my children. My whole life has been impacted.