So who do I turn to in the medical community now?

I am absolutely fed up with this whole entire back ordeal. I have done nothing but wait and wait on someone (whoever that is) to tell me what my future is.  My whole life is going down hill fast. I am afraid that I am going to lose everything that I have worked so hard for. And my poor husband, he didn't ask for any of this. I feel so useless and ANGRY I could just punch something. This nightmare has got to end before I lose everything in my life.  I don't know what to do. I have never felt more useless and more of a burden or more helpless in all of my life. I have gone thru some bad things, but this tops it all. Excuse my language, but It pisses me off!!!!!!!  I hate this and I am tired of being shuffled from one doctor to another. Each one with their own little tests.....while they are making money off of me I am losing everything.  I just want this to stop.  Why did I ever complain about my back. Why didn't I just suck it up and keep going like I always have.  I am so angry I can't stand it. It's not fair.....I want to know what I did in life to have these kinds of things happening to me???????? I hate this. Now I have gone to a neurosurgeon and he tells me there is nothing he can do.  And these so called "educated people" are pretty much telling me that I don't have enough of any one thing wrong to be treated.  It's like I have to prove I hurt.  When asking about going back to work, they ask me if I can.....now why after 2 1/2 months of TESTS ONLY would I be okay now?   Hello...........is anybody there?  Should there not be treatment before making stupid statements like that?  I have had three doctors tell me that I have to decide if I am disabled or not.  Isn't this why they went to medical school?  When I asked the neurosurgeon about work, he said "If you can't work then quit your job".  Hello???  Is anybody listening?
And you know something, above all, my dear sweet husband has said, " If you can't go back to work it's okay"....He keeps me hanging on.

[honey1601]

hi, do you know you just summed up in one what I have been feeling, i really find it hard to say exactly how im feeling, bcos i have been like this since nov05', I worked in the health sector, nothing as glam as a nurse or dr, but with physically & mentally disabled people, i had a prem baby in 92' so sent pretty much 15 wks in hospital, had tummy probs since then, seen to many drs i have lost count!! then the car accident, n my horrid back nightmare, im still on the sofa, 2n half years later, with a disc pushing on my nerves and spinal cord, its quite a dilemna, as my physio, has a patient with same back probs as me, he has been offered an op, but theres a 75% chance of success, 20 & will make it worse, 5% sever his spinal cord?????????? how the hell am i supposed to make this decision, with the black cloud that is always above my bloody head? I cannot remember a day with no pain, i get excruciating,  painful  headaches, i have fainted with the intensity of them!! this is due to my neck injuries!! i have had 2 drs sit me down and force me to write a statement, whilst i had been in hospital, on pethideine for days, saying? that i think my problems are physcological, i had no support at that time, i lived alone. had no visitors, no cards or flowers, friends nothing, just 2 drs who made me do things because, i was to scared to say no! i have been locked out of a bathroom, told to wash by the sink as someone had been smoking in the bathroom and a nurse that never liked me, blamed me??? i am now so terrified of hospitals i cannot bear to think of going in one!! last twice we went private but, know im going to have to go back to the nhs hospital, which excuse my language is ****!! a consultant rang me 2 years ago in an evening, to tell me i needed major micro surgery, yet weeks before his regiistrar told me in no uncertain terms that he was 100% sure more than 100% sure that i had nothing surgical wrong with me??? it drives me crazy, nobody understands how it feels to like me work 70 hrs a week, swim a mile a day, never sitting down, to this?? i eat, sleep, sit, dress do everything in one room as i have been awaiting the insurance co, to put my rehabilitation in place, which they would not do, untill i had an MRI they took 2 years to sort this out, making my condition worse, i also have a collapsed pelvic floor, with bladder, bowel, vaginal prolapse. im sorry i have to go now, please email me if u need to talk, you are not alone, my partner is a diamond, like yours sounds, i really feel your frustration, lets hope that some dr out there may read our posts and offer some help?? yeah rite????? take care regards.A.x

[JMar63]

Sorry it took so long to write back. I am going to see yet another neurologist because the first one was not competent enough for me. I have decided that I am taking more control over my body. I know how I feel, I know I hurt, and I know that my life ( as i knew it) has a good possibility of not returning. It's called looking at it logically. I spoke to a man at the pain mgmt docs and he remarked about the fact that unless you have been through it, you don't understand. It goes so much deeper than that. It's the pain, and the depression, and the bull, and the...........I have about given up hope of finding a doctor that doesn't ask if "I" think I can work now.  I have had one bi-lateral facet joing injection which ended up being about 40 injections, and the pain mgmt doc wants to try another epidural.  (None of the injections have worked.)  I guess to fill his wallet while I walk away, in pain, and with my wallet looking sad and empty. I just want to find someone who can actually do something for the pain, or tell me I'm disabled. I am not continuing to sit on the fence post any longer.
And as far as this being a psychological thing, yes, as a matter of fact it has affected me.  I am either stressing over the pain, or the drop of pay from my short term disability checks, or having to go to several doctors. I mean come on........  Since I have been in this shape, I am slowly learning some very valuable and key things It's my turn to put my foot down!!!!
(Now let's see what I actually get accomplished)
Hope things are sunnier and brighter with flowers blooming and such. I have taken a real liking to planting flowers and even a small garden. I keep trying to look for the rainbow. If I give up now, I'm doomed.

[MonkeyPeng]

awww sweetie, your post almost made me cry. I soooo know where you are coming from.  If you are unable to work I suggest you apply for social security disability NOW.  You will more than likely have to go through the appeals process which could take several years (I am going into my 3rd year now and I have tons of documentation). Go ahead and hire an attorney. The aggrevation saved is well worth the cost. I don't know how much of an education you have, but the better educated you are, the harder it is to get approved.
That being said, don't give up seeing doctors. I did that and am now paying dearly. I pushed on for as long as I could and now I can barely move. I have several diagnosis but no one can seem to DO anything except feed me pills. I have lost everything that I worked my entire life to build. If not for the sheer generosity of my roommate, I would be homeless right now.  I sold everything I could possibly sell, even my car. It is so very upsetting for a VERY independant woman to have to rely on others for EVERYTHING. I am glad that you have such a supporting husband. That will help you a lot along this journey.
Now, you need to be seeing not only a neurosurgeon but also a neurologist, orthopedist, rheumotologist and an endocrinologist. Get all the tests you can while you still have insurance (assuming you do). DON'T GIVE UP no matter how tempting it is. I know it is terribly frustrating, but you have to hang tough.   If you need to go an an antidepressant, don't feel any shame in that. Between the pain and the darn doctors it is a miracle all of us have not had to be committed!
Please excuse all the typos and misspellings, that is what pain and opiates will do for you! I wish you well and hope that you soon find a doc that you can rely on. And remember DON'T GIVE UP!!!!  Apply for SSDI NOW & Thank your husband for being supportive.