Spinal Fusion gone bad?

[PainISrealL5S1]

I had spinal fusion surgery 3 years ago. (L5 S1) . I am in so much pain I can't stand it. I take Vicodin 750 ES at least 4 times a day (sometimes 2 or 3 at a time). I was on Advinza for years. Just switched to Elaxgo 12 mg. once a day. Plus Lyrica, Cymbalta and to TRY to help me rest at night I take 15 mg of Amrix. I gained over 40 pounds. I am so fed up with everyone saying it is my weight. Before the sugery I was able to push myself to do things. To keep the weight off. I pushed through the pain. Now the pain totally stops me. I lost 34 pounds earlier this year, I was still in so much pain and doctors telling I didnt lose. ( I did weight watchers and tracked my weight) ..I gave up! Until I found this site and read comments, it seems like no one understood or cared. I am in deep depression, ready to give up on it all. I cant take not sleeping or not working. I dont even feel like a man. Is there a way to reverse what I had done? Or a better means to cope with the pain. I am sick of taking so my vicodin just to "take the edge off a bit". Please help.
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[mqsplumber]

I have had the three lowest vertebrae fused with pins n rods and all. I know this is not the correct terminology. its redneck or laymans terms. Anyway, This was done aprox. 10 years ago. A week after surgery, i developed a few infections. Staff, Streph, and MRCA. Three of the worst infections you can get. Needless to say, i had surgery again and had all the hardware removed. I was left open, literally, for about two weeks, letting the infection drain. This was just before wound vacs were invented. After that i spent two very long and lonely months in the hospital with a 10% chance of making it. Well i did. Doctors have told me i would be on medication and jobless, unable to work for the rest of my life. He was partially right. I am on medication, with a damn good job. I trully believe your quality of life depends on your ability to fight for it. I should be dead, yet im working, and still in pain might I add, but working. I refuse to let my brain, or back control my life. Its all literally in your head and once youve determined that, you can overcome anything. Any medication that you take for pain, blocks the pain receptors in the brain. So its mind over matter. This has taken me several years to do, but staying active like swimming, walking on a treadmill, or just as simple as changing your walking habits will help you tremendously. SHOES!!!!!!! Get a really good pair of shoes. If you go cheap on anything you do for this, dont do it on the shoes. Asics are the best right now, as far as long lasting comfort. I have the new Rebok ZigTechs and love them. but back to the subject at hand. As far as the depression, you have got to get some healthy support system. Surround yourself with people that care and truly understand what you are goin thruogh. It takes a real man to publically ask for help. Now whether you do something about it is where it starts to seperate the men from the boys. Research, research, and research!!!!!

[shinty]

Tell your doctor about your feelings, IE: how you are in pain, are depressed, tell the doctor everything.....If you are not helped by that particular doctor, or aren't referred to a physician that can help you, then it's time to find a doctor that will listen to you, and help you. Unfortunately, some doctors don't want to deal with a patient who needs pain control,  has multiple problems,  and/or has a medical problem that's difficult to diagnosis. It's sometimes hard to find a competent caring and compassionate physician, but they ARE out there. A good primary care doctor is a must in a situation such as yours.
                                                                   Good Luck,
                                                                                 Sean

[hirten]

people can be so judgemental it makes me sick. That being said, it is true that being overweight does contribute to or cause back problems, or so they say. I have had a bad back for about 15 years and have tried everything from acupuncture to P.T. to even a stupid Q-ray bracelet. I was willing to try anything. You gotta love the way some will prey on the weaknesses of others.I am 5'10 and a half. I was 6 foot about ten years ago. At one point I had gotten up to 225 lbs. mostly from the meds I was on. I lost the weight I had gained I have been at 165 to 175 for at least 6 or 7 years now. The thing is there was no difference in my pain level from losing or gaining weight, but that could be just me. everyone is different. I also have been bummed about my condition for years. Feeling like my life is over and has been for years. 24 hours a day on the couch isnt much of a life for someone especially active people like I used to be.I have thought about suicide many times but I know it would destroy my friends and family.So I havnt done it and thats the only reason. I know this for a fact because my best friend of 35 years did himself in 2 years ago because he was in the same place we are. Let me tell you I cant forgive him for it. I wish I had answered his phone call that night because I could have helped. I was trying to get him to see a new pain doctor. I have a poster that shows a frog being eaten by a bird and the frog is choking the bird so he cant be swallowed. It says DONT EVER GIVE UP. I look at it often. My wife gave it to me some years back as she knew I was ready. I had written notes to everyone and said my good-byes to people. So I say to you, DONT EVER GIVE UP. There are people who care and people who can help. You dont have to be superman to be a man. Do your best and thats all you can do. things can always be worse believe me. I tell myself this often and sometimes I watch a movie or something sad or tragic to remind myself of this fact. Vicodin isnt that strong, maybe you could try something stronger if you can get it or try a mix of things that will work better. Find a doctor that specialzes in chronic severe pain and you can get some of your life back. Keep trying until you find the help you need.