I'm 21 and in college. I used to struggle a lot with how I looked and was very self-conscious. I see other females all the time who feel bad about their bodies. I watched as my cousin began to not want to wear bathing suits or anything that might make her body "look bad". She is beautiful by the way and is skinny. She says she doesn't look like 'so and so' and doesn't feel she fits in. I'm so saddened that people can't just be happy with their body and love themselves.
Don't people know that all these models and celebrities are fake! Their pictures are altered to make them appear different. The Victorias secret models get push up bras and stuffing. The celebrities get their pictures altered, just ask some of the female singers, for example Carrie Underwood. Yet, young girls and even older want to fit in this beauty ideal that is unrealistic! The pictures are not real.
We've become so obsessed with looks. Now we have a big rise in anorexia and bulimia. We have more suicides. This is a problem, that a lot of people don't seem to see. There is so much pressure to look "perfect", when no one can. We all have different body shapes, no one will fit the "mold". Even with all of the beauty products in the world and plastic surgery, you will not be happy. Why? because you still haven't fixed the main problem. That is the problem in your head. You have to look at your body differently and no one seems to be doing that.
I have no idea how to change this problem, but wish there was a way. Girls need a new look on what it means to be beautiful!
This world is funny, but vanity is a big thing for women. Nobody wants to be seen as ugly. In any way possible people want to look perfect and young.. is that bad? no but it can be. Some people take things to another level, where people pick on others because of their own insecurity. Odd, but that's the world we live in.
There are alot of companys that try to promote healthy self images like Dove but it takes more than just one effort to cause real change. As long as there are other women, women will always feel they need to look better and nicer. A womans worst enemy is another woman. But anyways, the majority of the time it's words that someone said that cause us to feel something is wrong with us. Things your siblings say, classmates and bad breakups all make us feel like if we are more skinny, or more pretty people would accept us....
I get what your saying though, it's always upsetting to hear people say they're ugly when in reality they could be very beautiful, but what can you do? No matter what you do they have to realize this and I think it comes from recognizing what you have that's great and knowing your purpose in the world. This gives value and respect for ones self no matter what anyone says.
I think that daily we need to look in the mirror and say nice things about ourselves because we have a habit of pointing out our flaws. If I listened to everytime someone had something negative to say, I would honestly live in a box because people will always do what they know will always get to you....
Anyways, good post. Your not alone in your thinking. :D
It's funny, I see it just the opposite. What you say sweet is true for some people - it seems like there are a few people who are absolutely self-centered and are hyperfocused on how they look and how their bodies look, and it's hard for them to be comfortable they care so much that everything finds them ravishingly beautiful 100% of the time. So there are those few.
But I'm 51, and I've seen a steady decline in what people look like. I can't believe what a bunch of slobs we are, as Americans. Our bodies look sloppy and our clothes and hair looks worse.
I know I sound old but I can't believe it when I see grownups in public in pajamas. Pajamas! Or almost worse, ill fitting clothes that barely cover the subject - that might look cute on someone of normal weight but not if rolls of the body are spilling out of them at every end.
I see girls getting out of cars at the high school -pretty girls - who look like they just this instant rolled out of bed - their hair is a mess, grabbed up in some half hearted sloppy ponytail, they are still wearing pajamas and a sleep shirt, and I wonder - did they brush their teeth, or did they just rise from the bed and get in the car?
I really long for the days - in the 40th or earlier - when people looked healthy and fit, and they made an effort to look groomed and clean when they appeared in public.
I too miss the days of classy women and respectful men. I think the hippie era ruined that.. lol :D But there are still cultures that are very strict on appearance and grooming.
I think there is a fine line between being neat and being vain. I don't think there is any reason to put others down or constantly be watching your calorie intake. Being clean and made up is one thing but going to another level and being completely fixated on the issue is another. It becomes a problem when your being run by your insecurities...
I think we have 2 extremes in our society. They are usually either very obsessed with looks or just don't care at all. I do see the ones who don't care at all, too. Just walk in to a walmart and you can see that side of it. Though I think the other side is more damaging to a girl. My good friend was anorexic all through high school and now has some serious chronic medical conditions because of it. She was so worried about being 'fat' that she would barely eat. Another girl from my high school had committed suicide because she felt "ugly". It still happens in college, too. I thought maybe it wouldn't since I would assume people would mature and move on from the pettiness, but obviously not. I was late for class one day and had my hair thrown up and kind of messy. Then as I'm walking out after class is over, I can hear these girls gossiping about me. Really? come on. I get so tired of the pettiness, it really gets old fast.
Yes I know what your saying but it's a thing that women are created with. To feel beautiful and radiate femininity. I think that we need to teach women to have self-confidence above how to look beautiful. I really think it comes from training as a child and how children are raised. We have to teach them self confidence and individuality. Now a days that which is different is seen as ugly. When I was growing up, you had to look like BARBIE. I was sooooo not a barbie and I was teased for that. Mind you I wasn't ugly but I didn't have long blonde European hair flowing in the wind, I didn't wear tight jeans with bows in my hair, yet I was comfortable with who I was. My mother always told me to be humble yet to give my best and not be walked on. Today, how many women will walk up to a gorgeous woman a say, "Your very pretty"? No one because our jealousy and insecurity makes us hate those who are more pretty than us.
You know I don't even know how to answer this because I am a christian and I'm raised to appreciate the beauty God created us all with. Some may disagree with the idea of God but I can only conclude that individuality is beautiful. If we were all barbies, I would be really tired of looking at myself because nothing makes me me. Everyone else has the same details and markings. I can appreciate others noses because my nose ***** but I also know that I have awesome lips that maybe someone else doesn't have.
I know that when I have girls of my own I want them to have the same instruction my mother gave me in this area. I remember always being told I was special and beautiful. When I said, I didn't like something, I was told to look in the mirror and see what was beautiful. :)
Anyways, those girls who gossiped about you just lack confidence and self-worth. I wouldn't pay attention to it. They're probably jealous that they can't do the same. Besides the way the world sees beauty is very shallow. It often times judges others on appearance, rather than the heart.
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