Anyone ever lose conversation skills?

[calimike]

Has anyone here with bp feel like they have lost their conversation skills?  This is how I am feeling I am almost always quiet at dinner parties, etc... Now I have a job interview coming up I am worried I have nothing to say.  I always feel like I have nothing to say anyone else gone through this?  It's not like a depression where you don't want to say anything.  This is like I want to talk but just don't know what to say.  I haven't always been like this but it seems to have gotten worse this past year.  Thanks for your replies.

[Alex_X_18]

I have this problem too....piticualrly
when I get into social groups

[elwoodsf]

I am finding that I am becoming more and more non conversational over the years. This character trait is becoming worse as time goes by. I have not done enough research on this topic to have an educated answer. After being on medhelp I have noticed that other suffer from this same delima.

~El

[beatfreak]

I have completely felt this way..Mine comes and goes. I dont know what its from. I use to be MISS SOCIAL I still am some times but I do feel that way alot of the time. I think sometimes my meds dont help, but thats a good question. and no your not alone. too bad we dont know how to fix it though....It *****!

[shelby78]

I have experienced this as well. Last week during a "social event" I was non-conversational when i usually would have been. I just couldn't figure out what i wanted to say or how to say it; this was frustrating! I don't know if this is caused by meds or what...but i used to be a "social butterfly." However, this is not the case anymore. So yea, we completely understand!

[bastet56]

Oh yeah, I can identify! When I get excited or nervous my ability to speak coherently deserts me completely making me feel like an idiot. I lose my train of thought, forget what I am about to say. I end up feeling like a fool. I am glad however that you can still work. I jokingly 'decompose' when I try to work outside the house and end up hospitalized. I get totally overwhelmed and end up spending about 6 mths or more digging myself out of the hole I end up in. I envy you for being able to work. Good Luck with your interview!  

[calimike]

thansk for your replies glad I am not alone in this unbearable situation

[xany9011]

I feel like that on certain days. I used to be really social and outgoing too. I don't know what happened or why but now there are days where I am nervous or just feel unsocial and want to be alone. When I feel this way, my convo skills are lacking or null and void. If i'm in a situation where I have to talk when i'm in this mood, whatever I say comes out awkward and I get really nervous. Whatever causes it, I have it too and it is common obviously among bipolar people. Just wish they had a medicine to help with this part of bipolar!!!

[prayersfor_rain]

Sometimes I get in a super quiet mood and will have nothing at all to say to anyone.  Sometimes my head is bursing with things to say but I can't get the words to come out so say nothing.

Other than those weird moods, I can usually get myself to say *something*.  If I can't, I will after a couple of beers.

[LeftCoastChick]

I used to have to drink to be social I couldn't go into an event without having a drink or two - though I never got drunk, nor had an issue - it was almost unbearable.  I find the more depressed I get, the less I want to speak,  as a friend once said it's being "comfortably numb" - though I never feel comfortable in my own skin. I'm really bad at small talk, terrible, but going from years of hypomania, it's probably not the worst thing.

[lagatta]

I'm actually very comfortable in groups.  People find me quite funny and entertaining but I'm bad when I'm one on one.  As soon as I get someone alone I have no idea what to say to them.  

[hell1971]

I definatley get like this, I can be quite the entertainer, chatting, joking yet other times I just clam up and dont want to speak or cant, i can come across as a snob or off, i have had this said to me many times and its been really hurtful because i just cant speak but i think its a mild depression that causes mine.

I also say the wrong thing all the time, im famous for saying the wrong sayings lol.

[jst4shanell]

I think almost everyone, bipolar or not has some sort of social anxiety.  I used to be the social butterfly but as I am getting older I don't feel the need to be the center of attention.  I get really anxious in social situations, even when it's my best friends.  I only feel this way when I am depressed and/or am not feeling confident with myself.  Sometimes it's my moods or my medications or sometimes it's just because it's things that are going on in my life.  There are days when I don't want to talk to anyone.  I just want to be a hermit and do nothing but stare at the walls.  Those are the days I force myself to interact with someone whether it's torture or not.  It is slowly teaching me to learn to cope with awkward situations.  I hate it but it gets easier believe it or not.

I am a hair stylist who has to interact with people in a professional and intimate way no matter how I feel that day.  I KNOW a lot of my social anxiety is do to my confidence.  I am very confident at work.  I am in my comfort zone and I feel I can let my walls down.  Then I can walk out the door and meet some friends for dinner and feel so much anxiety it makes me sick.  But the more I do it, the more I start to confront some of those fears.

All in all, my anti-social behavior has a lot to do with the fact that I feel so different from everyone else because i'm  bipolar.  I don't have a lot in common with people anymore because I don't think the same way they do.  I feel i'm under a spotlight and everyone is waiting to see what the "sick" one is going to say.   So I switch it around and ask them all the questions, like I do at work.  It works every time.  It takes the spotlight off you and focuses your energy on them so you don't over analize yourself.

[prayersfor_rain]

I'm generally a social person, but I've had times where I felt like my voice was stuck inside, to the point where I'm not able to talk to anyone at all, not even make a sound.

I grew up doing a lot of things on stage for church and what not.  So I'm ok with speaking in front of crowds, etc.  I find though, that when I'm doing one on one talking with say a customer or someone, sometimes the dumbest words just come out of my mouth.  Like, what I'm trying to say could definitely be said with other BETTER words, and I feel like I make myself sound like an uneducated moron.  It doesn't help that my meds make me slur my words sometimes.  

A lot of times my mind goes completely blank on certain words so instead of just saying  "camera", I end up saying "uhh picture...(and then I make the shape of a camera with my hands)...it makes pictures...uhh you know, that thing.  You click the button."

[Reaper1242]

As you can tell by the sheer volume of response it's a pretty common problem.  I myself have gone from being an extrovert and overly talkative to being the silent type.  I seem to lose social skills daily.  Mostly I just can't think of anything useful to say.  It seems as if everyone else is having a conversation I just can't join in on.
When I do speak it's as if I'm the only one who gets what I just said.

I will say that it does seem to come and go.  But it seems to be happening more regularly.  
My memory is also slipping from the meds so alot of the time I forget the words.
All this basically has made me very anti-social.

[sardean]

There are times when I cannot seem to find words to express what I am thinking. It's like my thoughts are just too complicated, and nobody would understand anyway, so I do not say anything at all. I just hope none of them ever see me talking out loud to myself. They may try to have me locked up....lol. Been there done that.

[Malaksharif]

this is making my life hell

my self confidence gone with it too

[zmbhntr]

It depends on what type of conversational skills your laking. Often when a bp is in a manic state staying with one topic or conversing seems impossible because your three steps ahead of anyone else. Alot of people end up being the "life of the party" because of there enhanced state.  Alot times I just feel all jumbled up and cant get in the groove of convo because my brain is foggy and clouded, these are often called mixed episodic
bp when you find yourself fairly social and in a convo yet you just cant flow with everyone else. Depression is the other side of the coin....where honestly you just dont
care about what the hell there talking about because it's hard to find interest or excitement in ANYTHING. It can be a life essential move to let your friends,co-workers,family members etc know what you go through. Then when those times arise
they will understand(hopefully) when you just cant hang or need a breath(a quick trip to the bathroom for a quick personal pep talk and deep breathing are amazing).

[Xila31]

I have both of these problems. Somtimes I have the pressured speech where I can't shut up and I am walking over what everyone is trying to say. Like people can't stop talking fast enough so that I can add my two cents. It makes me feel terrible. On the otherside, when I'm down, I feel like I want to be completely silent and not speak at all. I can't think of anything to say and want to hide.

I am usually a talker, but I can tell the difference between when I am being my normal talkitive self and when I can't seem to stop talking even when in my head I'm saying "shut up! shut up! stop it!." These situations tend to get into trouble or annoy people to no end. I become the TMI person and I start telling total strangers my life story for no reason.

[Reaper1242]

I also think that all these mood related issues with social skills cause a broader problem.  I think that these constant changes in mood which do affect conversation skills also skew your overall social skills. It just becomes your reality to the point where your social skills are shot to hell.

My meds have also affected me greatly.  There's alot I just can't do anymore and that doesn't fit into my previous unmedicated life.

[sardean]

I understand the part about being medicated. I tell people its like I have a 20lb basket of apples on my head. I feel weighted down. The strange thoughts are gone, but functionality seems to be impaired now. I feel bogged down in social situations.

[eva274]

Several times.  Especially after I was hospitalised and I had to interact with my coworkers and be an animated teacher like I used to be.  It was so frustrating.  I was an excellent teacher before my breakdown 6 years ago.  I got fired from that job and now I am at another one where I have managed to get my spontanaeity back and become the animated teacher I always was.  I guess time helps and switching medications help.  I am now off risperdal.  But I really think it is due to the illness.  I withdraw in social situations when I am feeling vulnerable and like all eyes are watching me (paranoia).  I am more sociable when my perception of the people around me is clearer.  I hate being paranoid,it is so painful to go through.

[Xila31]

I agree with you completely about withdrawing when feeling vulnerable. It is hard for me to reach out to people. I don't like being in places by myself when I'm around a lot of people I don't know. I get that paranoia that everyone is talking about me behind my back, and that no one likes me, and everyone is either going to hate me, be mad at me, or just not like me in general. It makes it hard when I'm around new people, and even sometimes with people that are not new I have this issue.