BIPOLAR AND AGE

[TATTOO1997]

DOES BIPOLAR 1 GET WORSE WITH AGE? HOW ABOUT ANXIETY TREMORS?

[Midijane]

I completely agree. Well said. Medications help so much but my irritability stresses me out. A lot of energy is need to talk myself down.

[handlingthis45]

Wow, I am feeling the same way. I almost feel like I dont need to "professionally diagnosed" since I have all the symptoms and finally know why I am rocking back and forth "without noticing myself".  Then I notice that it calms me.  I am ADHD and I am 49 yrs old, recently diagnosed like 7mths ago.  My adderall seems to help me with both, including depression..guess that's 3 things huh?  I manage as a nurse pretty well and learning to wait til its my turn to speak. Im still wondering if this is hereditary. Never knew my dad.  I have a different dad from my siblings. Anybody know?  AND THX SO MUCH "heyjude 1".

Signed "handling it"

[lindahand]

There is this almost indescribably longing to love one's parent's so you are probably okay. He is 20, he is still a baby. Chances are he is just really confused.

Its hard to love your mom and still be upset by some of the things she's done. Especially rage. That leaves a big imprint on someone and an apology unfortunately doesn't take it back. Not to say it is your fault. It is the disorder, but the hurtful words still sting the person receiving them. They can often assume 'Is that REALLY what she thinks of me?"

I come from a dysfunctional home. When I was his age I had to pretty much cut my parent's out of my life to heal some of those hurts and gain the maturity to know that they did the best they could. I went to see a psychologist and that helped as well. Now my parent's and I get along really well. My parent's went to counselling themselves in the meantime and really work hard at being well. They are not the same people I grew up with. They apologized to me for what they had done. That went a long way towards healing things. So the 20's aren't a good predictor of an overal relationship.

The best gift you can give him is a stable mom so keep working at that. Get help for your depression and rage issues. There are some good medications like antipsychotics that can help with rage. Don't let the doctors give up on you until you have tried everything. I had one psychiatrist say there was nothing more they could do. I would have to live with it. Went to another one and got on the right medication and it was a world of difference. Not a hundred percent. I still struggle, but I am not a suicidal mess.

Keep loving him, be gentle and respect his emotions, don't push but at the same time don't disappear. Call him on good days just to say hi. Maybe once a month for right now is all that he is up to. Play it by ear. He may need to see that you are doing better before he feels it safe to trust you being in his life more than just on the outskirts of it. As an individual he has the right to avoid his triggers too, the things that hurt him, and if he can't trust you not to rage at him, he will need to put you at a certain distance for his own emotional protection. It is unfair that bipolar can affect our families in this way, but it is the hard truth.

I hope you are able to mend things with him and build a relationship of trust and loving friendship.

[ILADVOCATE]

   If he has a psychiatric disability himself he may be experiencing issues of his own. Best to give this some time and set up an emotionally neutral place where you can discuss these concerns. Family therapy can be of help but if that hasn't worked then it would be worthwhile to think over what's happening in his life because it may be some issues he is coping with that he has not discussed with you. One important thing given that I have schizoaffective disorder and my mom has bipolar was working to set emotional boundaries and find ways to discuss concerns that would not trigger episodes (on either side).

[LMC3311]

I am now 49. Single mom, son now in college. I feel like I am getting worse. My son, does not want to understand as he spent his whole childhood dealing with my illness and his ADD. I had a bad moment on the phone, a moment of rage, his friends heard, I have apologized but he will not bend, he is only 20. I am so depressed, What have you done to teach, help and support your children besides counseling, suggesting books and trying to have honest talks. We lost his dad last year. I am in a very worthless moment. Tell me something to keep me positive that this too will pass. Does/can my son still love me and hate me being bipolar. He is one of my triggers, the stress hormones go wild, a deeply personal external trigger.

[heyjude1]

My bipolar is worse in some ways, mania is short but depression is long.  Less ability to handle any stress.

[bbkkb143]

I was told that "a large portion" of people with bi-polar have their symptoms lessen as they get older.  Since a previous comment contradicted what my doc said, I am guessing that it depends on the individual, and that symptoms may improve, stay the same, or lessen with age.  I don't think enough is known about this disorder to say anything for certain about how it progresses or changes as we age.  I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to hear, but until more is known, I do believe it to be the truth.  Take care, and I hope you find the answers you need.

[GeorgiaAnnie]

Hope you are feeling better.  I'd say it just gets old.  Mine is neither better or worse, just old.  Since I am getting older, I'm patient with it.

[ILADVOCATE]

"Studies report rates of bipolar disorder between 4% and 15% in children with one bipolar parent, compared to 0% to 2% in the offspring of parents who don't have the disorder. And if both parents are bipolar, rather than just one, a child is about 3.5 times more likely to develop the condition."
That's what I could pick up from a medically reliable site. For some people bipolar can at times worsen with age. Anxiety is of course a seperate issue. But it depends. Speak to your psychiatrist about all this.

[TATTOO1997]

I AM DIAGNOSED BIPOLAR, ADD, SEVERE ANXIETY. HOW LIKELY IS MY CHILD TO HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS LATER IN HER LIFE?