BP husband

[justj567]

My husband of 18 years is bipolar - he is doing really well we see a counselor, he goes to his psychiatrist, and takes his meds. He still has good days and bad days on meds and more good than bad and as I wife I just do not know how not to take it personal when he shuts down...any suggestions

[Crystal413]

Your husband has an illness and like any other illness, you wouldn't take things personally. He is not mad at you, the words he may say that may hurt you, he doesn't mean. Even on meds and going for periods at a time without any issues, he will have his days or weeks, etc. He has Bipolar and the meds don't make it vanish. It is very common to isolate, sleep a lot and not want to talk on a given day or for an undisclosed period of time. The best thing sometimes is to give him space and play it by ear when he needs or wants your help. You have gone thru this for a long time and I'm sure you have learned a lot about this disorder. A refresher on this illness might help you better understand the symptoms he experiences and how he reacts. Talk to him when he's well and come up with a game plan on how he would like you to proceed when he goes into an episode. You can share your feelings as well. How you feel. I think this might help and then you not only know what to expect put how you can protect yourself from your feelings getting hurt when he is like this. Hope this helps some.

[justj567]

Shutting down communication wise: silence...he sometimes will isolate like he will go to sleep for several hours  but then he just doesn't talk at all. Now since he has been on his new meds...Lamictal and Lithium he has had maybe three days total in the past month which is a great improvement for him. So his longest period has been two days in a row, which I am grateful for since before it would be weeks at a time. But before it was easier to see when he was in his depressed state now it just seems like moments and I just don't know how to manage it or not take it personally.

[SuboxoneReform]

When you speak of 'shutting down'- so you mean communication wise; silence? Isolation? How long do these periods typically last for him? Everyone's cycle of Mania vs. depression varies. The shutting down is typical while in. A depressed state- it still can be painful to try to reach someone you love so much and not feel as though you are reaching him. If there is any other Information on addiotnal resources in your area that might be able to assist you both further, I would be happy to help. Good luck!