Bi polar adult with a childs mind

My son (now 19) had issues most of his life but at age 15/16 things got much worse.  Were told he was Bi Polar and started treatment.  Went through a few different meds a few starts/stops of med... almost to our breaking point we put him in a residental treatment program for three months with a some improvements.  Our issue is that he is SO immature almost like 8/9 year old, no motivation, extreme lazyness, manipulative... he dropped out of school and has started/stopped a GED program numerous times.  His academic / lituracy levels are equally low.  H has had some drug related problems but is currently in NA.

He still lives at home because he is unable to care for himself and was working for a family member but because that is not what he wanted to do he got himself fired.

Does anyone have any suggestions to help improve our situation?  Many have suggested "tough love" but he would not survive if we put him out of the home.  He's not eligable for state funded programs because he lives at home with his family and other treatement options / facilities are EXPENSIVE!  We do have a therapist for individual and family therapy.

Any suggestions, anyone, please we are almost to the end of our ropes with him.

[Roey6]

Wow!  You are in a tough situation.  I don't know if I am anywhere near correct on this, but I have heard and I believe that it is true, that people with bipolar who don't get help, or the proper meds, get worse and it can cause some regression.  My grandma was bipolar and wasn't diagnosed right until she was in her 80's and after her 6th suicide attempt.  One explaination of bipolar is that they are seizures.  With that explaination, the seizures can cause damage when they are rapid, or undiagnosed or treated.  It is so hard to find the right meds for someone.  I am struggling with finding the right ones for my son.  I think that "tough love" is the right answer, but I don't think that it means you have to send him out on his own.  Tough love can be many different things.  Because of his age, it again makes it difficult.  Maybe he needs to be treated like you would if he were 8 or 9 years old.  As silly as it may sound, maybe he needs to be grounded or something similar that a young child would relate to.  

For the money part, have you checked into Social Security for him?  If he is going through so many issues, he may qualify.  You may want to check with an attorney, and possibly see a psychiatrist if he isn't already, to get a statement from the doctor that he isn't able to care for himself.  That might also help in getting him some state help also.  It may cost extra for the attorney and/or court costs, but in the long run it may be the best route.  

Roey