Bipolar 2 exploitation

[aidan516]

Please can someone tell me if someone diagnosed with Bipolar 2 (on prescribed Lithium tablets)are more susceptible to being used for self gratification by an outsider in order to get their own feeling of well-being enhanced. E.G. A young woman, apparently happily married with three young children has her attention taken by a guy who said to her that he was in an unsatisfactory relationship. Also that she is so beautiful, a thing her husband knows but rarely says. The woman feels she is getting more attention now, and subsequently becomes sexually unfaithful causing a rift  and possible breakdown in the marriage to the detriment of the kids etc.On accidently reading her cell phone last message, still on screen,by the husband, the wife admits to the "affair" saying it was meaningless and would stop. However texts have been sent even recently, although this outsider knows that this woman recently took 40 paracetamol tablets in an attempt to suicide- (Bipolar reaction  ?)  The husband loves his wife. they are married 10 years. He loves sport and so spends spare time at this activity. He has never looked at another woman and thought all was right. It never occurred to him that anything like this could happen and is brokenhearted. He feels he cant trust his wife and wonders if he ever will. Is the marriage over now What about the three kids 3,7, and 10 years old. Husband and  wife say they still love each other, so is there any hope, and if there is how can this cuckoo in their relationship be got rid of for all concerned. I think she is still infatuated with this guy who seems to be still on the scene. Of course there is no abuse in the marriage other than boredom to my mind. Anyway that's just my opinion. CAN ANYONE PLEASE HELP, AND IF SO CAN YOU HELP THE SITUATION URGENTLY ???? Thank you.

[lindahand]

What an incredibly tough situation you are going through. 10 years of marriage and kids involved too. My thought would be is whether or not YOU think this is bipolar related. After 10 years of marriage you may be able to tell better than anyone else when things are not 'right'. You may be too hurt to determine that right now. Is there other things she is doing? Dressing sexier, putting on more make-up or using it more often, spending too much money, being overly social and talkative. If she is doing those things it is more likely she is in episode. If she is acting 'normal' except for the affair - its probably not a bipolar thing.

I cheated on a boyfriend but I didn't even consider it cheating at the time. We had been going out for 3 months, and I just decided to go out with a guy I met online. I didn't even hide it. I went to a public restaurant. I never got caught. At the time I really didn't see anything wrong with what I was doing. If he had confronted me about it I probably would have defended myself. Just before that I had a few ill placed one night stands. And I am a prude sexually. I would never do that type of thing normally.

I am going on married 7 years and have been faithful. I don't think I could ever cheat on my husband because I know how terribly it would hurt him. But if I am really far gone manic - can't say for sure what would happen. You hear stories of women with families getting in the car and disappearing for a week or two to turn up only when they have run out of money. If you are that far gone I don't think you can honestly be held accountable for your actions.

I don't know if this helps. Your pain must be running very deep. I hope that whatever happens, whether with your wife or someone new, that you find the love you deserve. You are obviously a good man.

[looloo141]

What a painful situation for all involved, but it's one I've heard and experienced, and it seems to happen more and more..
It's impossible for anyone apart from Husband and Wife to say whether this relationship is over or not..but I understand the questions..
I think that people with Bipolar can be exploited to an extent, but it's not really an excuse to be unfaithful.
I have caused this pain myself..something I'm not proud of, but relationships are very difficult when Bipolar is involved, whether it is Husband and Wife or between friends.
Was the wife unwell at the time? that would be my first question...
I started talking to an ex boyfriend on Facebook, I had not seen this person for 10 years, and the relationship had ended quite dramatically when I was very young, I had lost a baby to this person and we parted while I was very unwell ( psychotic episode ) so I guess we had unfinished business and when he requested my friendship I knew I had to be careful and that my current partner would not be happy..
Anyway thanks to Facebook it started as a few messages, then it was phone calls, but luckily for me I got found out before I could meet up with this person, so I wasn't technically unfaithful, but my partner didn't see it this way.
I had told this ex boyfriend all sorts of details about myself and my life..he knew where I lived, and knew what was happening in my current relationship. He told me how beautiful I am and allsorts of other crap..this was all during a manic episode, and I was behaving quite wildly in other ways too.
My current partner was staying over at my house and I had gone to bed feeling ill and the ex rang my mobile and had a very lengthy conversation with my partner and thats how he found out...he was more angry that I had told the ex so much about me, and felt that I had emotionally cheated on him..
We managed to get over it, but it was last summer and we are still dealing with it now. I had stopped taking my medication and ended up quite ill, doing lots of things that I wouldn't normally dream of.
My partner wanted me to deactivate my Facebook account, which I didn't do at first but I have now, as I realise it is not always safe and I can't be trusted.
The thing was at the time, I wasn't very sorry, and was angry at my partner.
Looking back, I know I didn't get to this point on my own, me and my partner had gone through 3 years of stress from his ex-wife, and he has full custody to his 3 kids, they all have learning difficulties, and I did feel that things were one sided and me and my children were neglected a little bit, but I think what happened with my ex would have happened anyway!
About 3 months after my partner found out, we came home from shopping one day and the ex was on my doorstep! He had been speaking to my son who had just arrived home from school aswell!
This was when I realised that this man was very strange, I had told him 3 months before that I never wanted to see him again, and then he turns up at my house professing his love for me! He was quite obviously taking drugs aswell, I have never felt so embarrassed and ashamed in my whole life. I was terrified that my partner would think I had still been talking to the ex, but thankfully he could see how shocked I was..it just goes to show how dangerous these situations can be.
I think people with Bipolar are more vulnerable, but only because we are impulsive. We don't think of consequences but for me personally, I am only impulsive and take risks when I am hypomanic or Manic..I don't do things like this when I am ok, it's not an excuse at all.
This is a marriage of 10 years and I think the husband will know the wife and her illness well enough to know whether this affair was related to the illness or not.
When I was younger, I was promiscuous, which I know now is a symptom of Bipolar, but again it's not an excuse. Now as a 31 year old, when I get manic, my sexual desire increases but I don't sleep around, I would just want more sex with my partner..there is only so much that the illness can account for.
The thing I did was never about sex, it was about talking to someone.
I don't think we can discuss this woman's sex life, and whether it is because of her Bipolar.
These things happen to lots of women, Bipolar or not..
I think if there is still mutual love there, that it is worth another shot..but it is not going to be easy, and nobody could blame the husband if he decided he couldn't trust her again.
This is just my opinion based on my own experiences, as you can see I have been very honest..I am very ashamed about some of the things I have done when unwell, but I take full responsibility..
I hope that things work out and I hope other's have advice for you that isn't coloured by past experience as my advice is...
Hugs