Bipolar Child?????

[JTTBEACH]

Hello.  I am the mother of a 5 year old with diagnosed ADHD and a 3 1/2 year old with Severe Autism/Gastrointestinal/Allergies/SID.  My oldest son started showing signs of aggression and anger within the last year and a half.  It started out with him getting very angry over small situations and saying he was going to kill himself.  He would actually choke himself and try to pull out his hair and scratch himself.  We took him to a psychologist and he was diagnosed with ADHD.  I have no idea where he got the idea of killing himself at 4.  My husband and I never speak of these kind of things and it really scared me.  Ever since then he has been very uncontrollable at times.  He can be so sweet and then one little thing triggers his aggression.  I call it his Dr Jekyl Mr Hyde syndrome.  He has to dictate every aspect of play time with everyone.  If you do not make his dinosaurs say what he wants you to make them say be prepared for a fight.  He will repeat himself over and over until he can get the whole sentence out.  He doesnt studder but starts a story then restarts it then restarts it.  He is also very loud and very hyper and very rough.  He is constantly telling me that he hates me and that he wants to go live somewhere else then gets really upset about it and starts crying because he will never see me again.  I am really concerned about him.  I dont know if all of this is due to his ADHD and the fact that his brother receives alot of attention from therapists and such due to his Autism.  PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

[Rozanna]

I have a post on here called "does this sound like what other parents of BP child go through"?
read this and see if it sounds like what you and your child is going through.

[JTTBEACH]

Some of your post sounds like my child but he is not as severe.  My son loves school!!!!  Which is a good thing.  His teacher says that he is one of the best in the class and he is very smart.  He only acts like this outside of school.  It is very puzzling to me.  Last night he was mad that I wouldnt let him play his game in bed and was bawling and saying he hated me and hitting himself in the face.  

He loves to play but has to dictate everything during play.  We have to say what he wants us to say and he always has to win.  His cousin comes to our house every morning before school (I take him to school).  He is 8 and Trent and him will get along good until his cousin says something that is not what Trent wanted him to say.  One day they got fighting so bad that Trent ended up with a bloody nose and my nephew had scratches all the way down his face from Trent.  (This is partially my fault because I told my nephew to start fighting back because Trent is always punching and pushing him)

He is also very protective of his brother.  My husband and I are not allowed to discipline his brother or Trent goes off.  He growls at us and hits and says he hates us and wants a new family.  It really gets to a mother after a while of hearing that your 5 year old child hates you.  

He went to a psychologist last year and was diagnosed with ADHD but is not medicated.  I took him on Wednesday to a new psychologist because I think he needs to start therapy or something to deal with his anger issues.  The lady doing the intake said she doesnt think it is bipolar but is ADHD, Adjustment Disorder and Mood Disorder.   I have been researching Bipolar and he fits alot of the symptoms but it puzzles me why he doesnt act this way in school.

It is hard to deal with because of everything we have to deal with for our other son who is severly autistic.  He was diagnosed at 18 months and has made some progress but is still not talking.  And fighting the department of public welfare is a nightmare.  I am not looking forward to fighting for Trent's issues because of what I have had to deal with my other son.  But I will do what ever it takes to find out what is going on.  

Dont really know what to do at this point except start therapy and wait for our appointment with the psychologist in March.  I just know that whatever it is it needs to be dealt with now before it gets worse.  Somedays he can be a complete angel and then there are days that I want to walk away and never return.

Just hoping someone can shed some light on what Trent is going through.

Thanks!

[brimiele]

Although I am not happy to hear what you are going through I can SOOOO relate.  I  have a 7 year old son that has many of the same issues that Trent has.  Cam is the model student.  Never breaks the rules and the grades are perfect.  Yet when he comes home, all hell breaks loose.  My 13 years old daughter bears the brunt of it.  She gets hit, yelled at, kick, etc.  So don't my husband and I but I feel for my daughter.  I just can't understand why it does not happen at school.  The psychologist that he has been seeing for over a year says it's behavioral.  In my gut I feel there is something more. When cam was 3 1/2 we went to a psychiatrist who told us he was Bipolar.  My husband and I looked at him as if he was nuts.  He told me to read to book " The Bipolar Child" by Demetri Populous.  I did and it described Cam to a tee.  But it was also every other 3 year old.  Now that I read back at the stuff I highlighted in the book, it is so totally him at 7!!!  There is a family history, which puts an added piece on the puzzle.  That book maybe something to look at.  Does Trent have trouble sleeping?  I'm glad to know that there is someone else that has the same problem.  I was starting to feel like I was losing my mind.  When you explain to people what you are going through, they have no idea because they see you child as this perfect angel.  They can't show the outside world their other side.  It has to stay in the confines of "home" or where it is safe.  Bizarre!!!

[Tracey333]

It does not surprise me that your son isn't having any problems at school.  Mine didn't either to start.  Sometimes a BP kiddo will work all day to keep it together and do well and then lose it once they get home.  Their minds and bodies just can't take it anymore.  My child was diagnosed two years ago after the birth of his younger brother triggered his BP.  He is both ADHD and BP.  We are fortunate to have a medical system that is aware of the illness and it's severity.  I don't know where you live but it would behoove you to check into another doc.  Is there a neuropsychologist or a child psychiatrist available to you?   Children who are OK don't talk about killing or hating.  My son is also very protective of his brother-unless he's the one who is angry.  Is your child physical?  Goes he appear to trigger with an outburst if you tell him "no".  That is so key in the BP diagnosis.  Let me know what you find out.  I am here for you.  I've gone through this for two years now and my son has been hospitalized 9 times to help get him under control.  If yours is BP, you want to get it diagnosed as quickly as possible or it will only worsen without treatment.  Make sure that you are talking with someone who will really listen to you and log as much as you can about behaviors and when you experience them.  BP kiddos also tend to ramp up in the afternoon and night.  Anything I can do to listen and help, let me know!

[JTTBEACH]

My son has now started saying that no one likes him and cries and says he is stupid and cant do anything right.  He gets very upset with being told "no".  He has also been saying things like he is fat and stuff like that.  We dont talk like this at home and have never ever told him he is fat or that he is stupid or that we dont like him.  The outbursts and aggression is still there and he never stops talking.  He is always telling us that he wants to live with another family because he doesnt love us because we are mean when we discipline him or tell him no or wont play with him at the very moment that he wants us to.  He also has a very disturbing interest in butts.  He likes girls butts and we caught him pulling down his pants and showing his butt and winky to one of our friends daughters.  I am very concerned about him and the psychologist says it may be adhd and adjustment disorder due to his brother being diagnosed with autism.  I am not sure I keep going between adhd and bipolar.  I know that he cant concentrate for a very long time and is very loud, never quits talking and gets very angry very easy.  One little thing will set him off.  Please give me some insite because I do not know what to do.  My husband keeps saying that he is fine and I worry too much.  I just want him to be a normal happy five year old.  When he was younger he was such a pleasant little boy and never had these outbursts.  He also is very rough and sometimes will get right in your face and press his face against yours and it almost hurts (sometimes does).  It is like he gets enjoyment out of us saying that it hurts.  He will push on you and say does this hurt and he will do it until you say it does.  He is very protective of his brother and we are not allowed to discipline his brother in anyway or else he gets very angry.  I know in my posts before I had mentioned some of this.  I just dont really know what to do with him.  At times he can be the sweetest little boy ever and then there are other times he can be the most aggressive and angry little boy.  I love him so much and just wish I knew how to help him with this.

[lactac1224]

Your son sounds exactly like mine.  My father, sister and I all have bipolar disorder.  I know my son does too but most doctors will not diagnose this disorder in children for many reasons.  My son has been diagnosed with ADHD but it is an unspoken thing with his doctor, nurse and I that bipolar is in the future.  As long as we are able to help him without bipolar meds we will put off that step.  

My son started concerta for ADHD last spring (he is 7 now).  The difference I saw in him was IMMEDIATE!!!  Within 1/2 hour I saw a change!  We have had to change doses and add clonidine in the evening when the concerta wears off but my son is a different person.  Before the medicine I would cry so much because my son would scream and hit and fight me.  I found a way to pin him down when he gots that way.  Finally, when he would get calm I would spend another hour or two with him crying and talking about killing himself.  At that time I would just lay down with him and stay with him until he was better.  This went on day after day.

There are many other things my son did, but what I want to share is that he is soooo much better.  We still have our moments.  Yesterday dad forgot to give him his medicine in the morning and all heck broke loose but in all my life has changed dramatically.  I spent 6 years wondering what to do.  Please see a child psychiatrist and try some meds.  Having bipolar myself I can tell you from a first hand perspective that a child with the problems you described needs medication.  I can not be me without my medicine and my son can not be who he is without his.  He talks to me about it.  His night medicine makes him a little tired and so he does not always want to take it, but if he does not have his medicine in the morning it is like torture to him.

It can take awhile to find the right medicine in the right dose for each person.  For me personally it took until I was 35 years old before I had the right diagnosis and the right medicine.  Don't get discouraged just keep on trying!

PS - my 14 year old has autism too!  You really have your hands full!