Bipolar Disorder, BPD or am I just a whining adolescent?

Hello everybody,

About two years ago, when the pressure for GCSE exams began to build, I started to feel sadder than usual. It caused me little concern until about a year ago when things really took a turn for the worst. Just one week ago I cried, telling myself over and over that I'm a worthless liar that nobody will miss. This is the latest in a long string of feeling thoroughly, crushingly miserable at seemingly random intervals over the past twelve months.

I have sought help from family (who don't understand or won't listen), my GP (who diagnosed me with a bad case of adolescence) and school counsellors (one of whom left and another who I've only just started seeing, and seem to be making little headway with). I feel trapped with nowhere else to turn. Sometimes I cry in lessons, and am far too distressed to get on with anything.

Then there are other times, times when I am the life of the party and everybody loves me, times when every emotion I feel is increased tenfold and I want to hug and kiss everybody I meet. I can't sit still in lessons, people tell me I talk really fast and make... ahem... inappropriate comments, and I just have no sense of embarrassment and very few inhibitions. I make a total fool of myself and then look back and think "Oh my god! What was I thinking?".

Both of these states cause me considerable difficulty, and I believe they're damaging my chances of doing well in my exams because when I'm down I lack any motivation at all and just want to slump in a chair and do nothing, and when I'm happy I'm far too preoccupied with my latest 'project' that I'll never finish to bother with homework or revision. It's putting my relationships under strain as people struggle to adapt to my constantly fluctuating moods.I'm constantly late and am in and out of detentions all the time as I struggle to get up in the morning, a huge difference to two years ago, when I was a real early bird. Appetite changes are also definitely present, when I'm sad I'm nearly always hungry but when happy, I don't need much to eat (or drink) at all.

Fluctuations are about eight hours each, and can go from down really low to up really high in the space of two hours. I realise that this doesn't fit at all into the typical patterns of Bipolar Disorder but I still feel that this is the right place to post this. If it bears any significance, my mother has Bipolar Disorder.

When I'm sad, I tell myself that I'm making it all up, can't make decisions and am plagued by self-doubt. I tell myself that I'm a worthless liar who's acting up to get attention. I just want somebody to tell me that I'm not making it all up.

I hope somebody can advise me on what to do.

SmileyWolf

[Fizzy74]

Its good that you have posted on here as I hope that some of us might be able to point you in the right direction.  

I think maybe you need a professional, i.e. a psychiatrist who might be able to delve more deeply into your moods/slumps etc.  I can't say definitely whether you are or aren't.  But as your mum has bipolar it might be worth getting yourself checked.  I know when my sons reach adolescence I will be monitoring them closely for signs.  

Talk to your mum, see if she will listen and maybe steer you in the right direction.  Is she currently on meds, or seeing someone for her bipolar?  If she is perhaps you can see the same person.  

I would basically try and get some another opinion, as too often Bipolar is put down to adolescence.  I was only diagnosed a year and a half ago, but it would seem that I was bipolar from a teen, but it was put down to being a "moody" teenager!  

I hope some of the above helps

Take care