I am a freshman in college, and I am 19, my ex is a year and a half older. We started dating soon after college started, and dated for 5 months. Things were absolutely amazing in the beginning, he would surprise me with flowers, send me cute good morning texts, and made me feel like the luckiest girl alive.
Occasionally during this time I would get glimpses of a temper that he had. He would always say something rude, and we would fight, but then he would call an hour later frantically apologizing. These episodes were rare, however his hockey teammates, and my soccer teammates who knew him a year before I did would always say he is unpredictable and has a temper.
He told me he loved me about two months into our relationship. 3 Months after we were dating we got in another fight, and he called me and asked me to marry him over the phone. Things went back to being great for awhile, but then randomly after 4 months of dating I woke up to a text one morning saying he needed a break. I was crushed but said okay. That night he frantically called me, asked me to dinner, and said he didn't mean it and needed me in his life. Same thing happened over Spring Break. This time when he called and asked me to go to dinner I said no. He sent me this text saying he contemplated committing suicide, and that he knows he needs help. I went to dinner, we got back together and he promised me he would talk to someone.
As that week went on he never got help and started to seem more distant and not into me. Would not text often, wouldn't hug or kiss me, or hold my hand. i finally told him that I couldn't keep going and needed to be done until he got help. He left me room in tears saying he would get help and he wanted to get back together and that he loved me.
Fast forward a week later....he walks by me in the hall like he doesn't even know me. He goes out with his hockey teammates and parties, and he is with another girl. He acts as though he is having the time of his life, meanwhile I'm spending my days crying in my room. He texted me the other day saying he doesn't need help, he doesn't love me anymore, and he doesn't want anything to do with me. How can he do this after just a week?? Will he change his mind? And how do I get over him?
Unless you know his diagnosis, I wouldn't call him bipolar. I'm not sure what I would guess, but he doesn't sound bipolar to me. I would personally stay far, far away from any romantic relationship with him, because there are some major red flags there. He might not be doing it deliberately, but there are patterns of behavior that could develop into full out abuse if you stay with him long term. He gets angry, storms off, tells you he might kill himself, and then begs for forgiveness. Over time, this sort of behavior can escalate so that he's controlling you with the unsaid threat of leaving and making you feel guilty for trying to get your needs met, so that you feel it's easier to just do what makes him happy.
He's also been stringing you along big time, and has all of the power in the relationship. I would not be surprised if he texted you in a few weeks asking to get back together, possibly behind the new girl's back. It's always upsetting to lose a significant other, even when the breakup is mutual, but I think you are well rid of him--that relationship sounded like it was getting toxic.
My ex girlfriend was very simmilar to this , but we both have mental illness , her's being Borderline personality disorder and mine being schizo- affective disorder. And '' toxic'' certainly doe's describe it best she literally drained the life force out of me, but they say it doe's take two to tango my paranoid bothered her .
Thank you all so much. It's very hard for me because of my personality to just write him off after the things he has told me he has been struggling with, but I definitely need to do that. You can't help people who aren't willing to even help themselves. Thank you so much for your kind words, and advice! God bless you all :)
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