Bipolar or Post Partum Depression?

Hello! Im 23 and have an 18 month old son. I was on Methadone when he was born and had a c-section. I was having really bad shakes from the epidural and the dr. messed up and gave me Nubain! I went into instant withdrawl (withdrawal) and was havin convulsions. My son had to stay in the NICU for 5 weeks for withdrawl (withdrawal), that alone was depressing knowing he was in there because of me. I could tell right away something was wrong. I didnt feel that warm cozy loving feeling a mother should feel for her child. Before he came home from the hospital I went to the dr. and told her that I thought i had ppd. Anyways he came home it got worse I had feelings of hurting him when he cried, hurting myself. I was put on Lexapro, Abilify, and Xanax. I guess it worked for a little while so I stopped thinking I was better. But now my son is a year and a half and I still get so angry when he whines or cries. I have serious mood swings one minute I;m fine the next im screaming at my husband wanting to throw things and break things. I was never bipolar before so I wonder if the reaction I had after the birth has something to do with it, it feels like something just snapped in my head. I was always a happy person, now i hate the world sometimes. I went to my old therapist she said she thiks its bipolar. Has anyone felt remotely close to this?? Please help!!!!

[crzychick]

Only a psych would be qualified to tell for sure.  You would need to get an eval.  

[joelle15]

I think I can help!!  I have a son who is 3 1/2 and a daughter who is 1 1/2.  I believe I had ppd with my son, but it was never treated, then I had my daughter....and things got worse....I felt the same way that you feel...when my daughter was 10 months old I went for help! And it totally changed me! My psych said that I had Bi-Polar II(which is without the manic state),and put me on meds, and I see a therapist. I still in my heart of hearts feel that all of this is related to the hormones of the pregnancies and births, but I am no dr and you will not find one that will agree with you....but I was fine before I was preggers and had the kiddies.  I will say that the meds do help alot so I kind of got over the diagnsis and was happy to be better!!!

[nikki977]

yes i remotely have had some of the feelings you have had i was happy during my whole pregnancy and had bipolar prior to it & it was under control.... then PPD set in and along with the methadone i cant get my meds right and am tired all the time of being nasty i have talked to drs and they say i am relapsing in my depression and bi-polar but nothing about PPD

[PreciousJuel]

     In 2006 exactly a year after my fifth child was born I had a breakdown.  I never had any episodes or symtoms (symptoms) of bipolar ever until this breakdown at 31.  Just before the breakdown I had a severe anxiety attack due to my husbands driving.  Throat closed up on me and I couldn't breathe.  I thought I was going to die.
In the 8yrs prior to all of this my husband was driving us into severe debt and we were going without food, heat, etc.  The week my fifth child was born my mother committed suicide.  (hubby regularly abused us in many ways as well)
     Like you guys I wonder if I had severe PPD.  There was never any mention of any other possibility two days after the episode I was simply bipolar.  For two years I took my meds religiously mainly for fear for my kids and myself.  I lived in fear.  In december my husband filed for divorce and I was no longer covered medically.  I have been off the meds and doing fine.  However, I still have fear as I wonder was it PPD or is it Bipolar?  I don't ever want to have another episode.
     They told me within three days I would be in the hospital if I quit my meds.  It has been over 6months.  Since my mother was scitzophernic and committed suicide the fear of being bipolar rules my life.  I've heard so many stories of bipolar people committing suicide during an episode.  I am not sure what to think.  Some days, most days I believe I am normal.  Other days I just worry about a relapse.

[momandsis]

Hi had severe post-partum anxiety and depression. My DS spent a night in NICU for health problems. I was told by the psych who specializes in PPD that it is common for women who have problems with the birth or breastfeeding etc to slip into PPD. just thought it would help to know. if you could find a psych who knows a lot about the topic, as well as a support group that could help.