I'm so confused. Due to strong family history and personal behaviors, my doc thinks I'm bipolar(2). I've agreed to see a psychiatrist on the 26th to discuss this preliminary diagnosis. I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around this. I think I'm just too darn sensitive! My whole life, I've put everyone else before myself and have always tried to make everyone around me happy. Even though this often conflicts with my own best interest. I've pretty much always been considered too sensitive, overly dramatic, too shy, a doormat...ect. I do tend to be a bit moody and irratable, sometimes for no apparent reason. I've never really felt that I could relate to others; I feel like I don't know who I am, as if I lack my own identity. Sounds crazy huh? I feel like no one else really understands me either.
Loud noises make me feel angry(tv, vacuum, bathroom fan, buzzing from appliances.ect), sitting in a dark or dim room as well. Large crouds tend to "shut me down". That's only a few of my "querks". It seems the older I get, the more troublesome these "querks". I drive my husband nuts on a regular basis. We can't have any kind argument or talk about anything emotional without me blubbering like a baby! It's so freaking frustrating for both of us, but I can't help it! Everything makes me cry; happy, sad, angry, frustrated. The biggest problem with all of this is that I don't feel as if I'm setting a proper example for my 2 little boys. My older son, who is 3, seems to be showing some of my querks, especially with loud noises and lots of people. I need to help him with his feelings, but I'm not even sure how to handle myself. I'm so tense all the time and have always had trouble sleeping. I guess seeing a psychiatrist is probably the the best thing I can do for my family at this point. Sorry for all the ramblin'. I just thought maybe someone else has similar troubles, or might understand how I feel. Thank you for any advice or input.
I cry at everything too. It really frustrates me when I cry because I am angry. Taking meds has helped but I am still a sensitive person. If you've ever taken the Myers Briggs Assessment I scored incredibly high on the feeling category. It is just how I see the world.
I am bipolar 2. When I was first diagnosed I went on every online site there was a skewed every test to 'prove' I wasn't bipolar. Eventually I accepted it/was forced to accept it when I had a breakdown.
The psychiatrist will do an intake and listen to your story. It is a good idea if you go in knowing about your family history of mental illness, and with a timeline and idea of what triggers you. The more information you can give him the more likely you are to get the right diagnosis. Even printing out what you wrote here and giving it to him/her may help.
And it is in your best interest to be fully honest, don't over estimate but don't sugar coat. And know that they only have your best interest in mind. They will likely ask you a number of questions, that is normal, and you don't have to worry because they have heard it all before.
Bipolar 2 is treatable and maybe then you can be the parent you want to be. It won't change who you are. You will likely always have some of the issues you described above but it will help you cope.
This is a good thing. Knowing is power. If you know what is going on you have a road map as to how you can help yourself. Not knowing you simply drift in the wind.
I can relate to you in some parts... I believe some problem exists. And that`s probably bipolar(2). It`s nothing to be ashamed of. This world is really complicated thing, and the most sensitive of us often has some psychological problems.
Going to a psychiatrist sound like a good idea. It can be really helpful and save yourself a lot of misery. And you deserve that. You deserve to be happy and stable as much as you can be. Just like anyone else...
And if you have some problems/dilemmas during this process, feel free to post them on this site again...
Thank you both for your input. I guess at times we all have trouble facing the truth. It's difficult not being embarrassed about it. My husband is supportive and agrees that I have some issues to be dealt with, but I know he can't possibly understand how I feel inside. I've tried talking to a few family members recently, and as always, I'm just being too sensitive! I believe this is causing the most conflict in my mind. I think I was hoping someone could 'validate' my feelings. So thank you both very much for sharing with me. I feel reassured that I'm moving in the right direction! I feel that this site is going to be a great tool for my success!! Again, thank you, thank you!
You are welcome, and I`m glad you find this helpful, at least a little bit...
I think, even if it is embarrassing for you (although it theoretically shouldn`t be), it is a part of who you are, and it would be easier for you to accept it. It is a problem the most of the time time, but that also made you the person who you are now. And that person seems pretty nice. You accomplished a lot. You have a wonderful husband and kids.
Who knows, if you hadn`t have this problem, maybe you would have been in different position in different time. Maybe you wouldn`t have met your husband... So, no matter what, everything who you are, including this part, led you here, where you are now. And viewing this situation this way might help...
Hello and welcome to the forum..
I have been deemed "over sensitive" and "over emotional" all of my life! My parents are clinical and never understood how much I "felt" everything.
Everything I "feel" is magnified and I wish I could be laid back and not think and feel, see, hear the things I do all the bloody time but do you know what? I'm 31 in June and I think I have started to accept myself! I like how I can empathise with practically anything, it makes me feel quite special!
Obviously it doesn't feel great to feel the bad stuff, and the doctors think my extra sensory powers are really delusions of grandeur (lol) but I got fed up of wishing I was like everyone else.. I don't know if its the meds I am on now but something clicked about a year ago and I accepted my illness and my personality, and to an extent other people have aswell.
My mother who works with people with learning difficulties etc used to be in denial, I was just over sensitive, should pull myself together etc, even when the doctors told her I needed 24hr support she didn't believe them, it was just me...but now she talks about my illness, she talks about things when I was a child that she shouldnt have ignored, she talks about my meds, which believe me is a massive breakthrough.
I think that because I am in control of my illness people tend to respect me more..
Somehow you have a really horrible episode and when you come out of it you just think " I can cope with anything now!!"
You will hopefully get the right meds, the right therapy etc and one day you won't be the over sensitive one, you will be the strong one that your family looks up to..you've just got to get the help you need and believe in yourself.
It is incredibly hard when you have just been diagnosed, and the illness is devestating when you have young children, but my children are 9 and 13 now and they are brilliant, they get the emotional needs but not always the practical when I am ill, they know all about feelings and being up and down, I will never call them over sensitive..
Sorry for the ramble but I know exactly how you feel, I hope you find your strength and prove em wrong!!
Thank you for sharing yourself with me! You've really given me confidence that I can overcome what lies ahead and give my children a happy and emotionally healthy future. I think I'll focus on stabilizing my mental health before investing so much concern in my family's oppinions. They'll accept it if they want to help me! I have a supportive husband to be thankful for and two beautiful boys who love me regardless. I hope that with help and time I too can accept who I am. That seems to be the most difficult part, aside from really learning who I am:) Thank you so much for your kindness!!! You've given me a new perspective on this whole situation!
I used to feel the same as you did a while ago, before I was diagnosed or put on medication. I felt like no one understood me, and that I didn't really have a 'place'. But all that went away when I started seeing my therapist. Not only is a doctor a good source of insight and understanding (which is hard to find in friends who might or might not understand/care enough about what you're going through) but it also helps to talk to a neutral party about what you're feeling. It really helps you get an objective view of yourself. While your friend might indulge your pain in an effort to try and sympathise, your doctor will ask you to assess the feelings and make you realise not just why you feel that way, but also how to deal with those feelings. As for your two children - you must understand that the only way you can help them is by helping yourself first. Its sort of like that security video on airplanes that tells you to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping your children. It makes sense to know who you are before teaching your children what to become. It sounds like you care about them very much, but first take care of yourself. Feel better, and good luck! :)
Everything you said, I am/was exactly the same.
Trust me though, your life will improve dramatically from here on, you can now deal with everything from a position of knowledge.
Its a good thing, dealing with this
Ugh... Today is my first psychiatry appt.! I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. I'm excited at the idea of getting some help dealing with my feelings, but terrified at the same time! I have a hard time talking to strangers and have a very difficult time talking about myself and my past. I always turn into a puddle of tears just trying to talk to my own husband about these things. I've been trying all day to just relax but can't calm my nerves. My stomach is a mess, and now I'm getting a major headache. I know these guys are trained to work with us that tend to be overly sensitive but I'm still really uncomfortable. I know that this can really help me to better myself for my family, but my insides don't seem to be in compliance! :) I know I'll feel better later.....
Good luck with your appointment. Not sure if you already went or not but good luck. Hope ti goes well. I understand how scary it can be to see a new shrink. I hope that you will be able to relax enough and talk to this doctor. You might have already went but maybe if you havent write everything down that you can think of to give it to him or her if you are to nervous to talk. If you had trouble and went already maybe try this the next time you see this doctor. Hope it goes/went well.
How did the appointment go? I cried my way through my first appointment, and some of my second, and my fourth, and my ninth. The tears seem to come when I talk about my life and how I am doing. If I am at the depression phase of things I don't do very well at appointments.
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