I'm the same age and thinking the same thing too. Like, it's just waaaaay to crazy and out of controll to be something like depression or anxiety. Just make sure to find someone who takes you seriously. I have never been diagnosed properly before even though I have been seeing people for the past 3-4 years. Take care of yourself!
Reach out to someone. If you do have bipolar you're not alonw. Your mom of all people would be understanding. I know what its like to pretend you're the happiest person in the room. Reach out you deserve it!
I agree with hell1971. You should go get some help from a doctor. If your mother is bipolar I am sure she could understand. You especially should get help if you are cutting yourself that is bad, and I know how that goes because I have also done that. It is not a healthy way to deal with it. Also it is better to get help sooner so it can be better controlled in the future. I am also a mother, and I would want my children to come to me so I could help them too.